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Look at the votes so far. I don't see you disagreeing with those who say that a lady shouldn't pay, it is a man's job to pay, and so on. Women are quick to say "whoever asks pays" but tell me something, who does the MAJORITY of asking out? Can't deny the fact that it is men who do it and women who prefer things to go that way. Therefore, women saying that whoever asks pays is pretty much saying "men should pay".
Google "who pays on a date...dating tips...chivalry...first date..." and tell me what you find.
Yes I'm looking at the votes and nowhere does it say that the majority of WOMEN want men to always pay.
I had to laugh at that because that is how I am on a date unless I am the one who did the asking, (which means I expect to be paying).
If someone asks me out on a date, I go assuming I'm going to pay my share. It may not have been discussed, but I never assume that someone is going to pay for me.
Therefore, when we get the menus, sometimes I am overwhelmed by the prices and look for the cheapest thing I can find.
On some dates I have heard, "Get whatever you want", (to me that is a sign they are paying), and no matter WHAT that person just said, I still try to find the cheapest thing on the menu out of courtesy.
When they start asking me if I want to have an appetizer or drinks or something like that, I get a little anxious because in my head, I'm calculating the costs NOT because I'm looking to see, "Ok, let's see if he'll spend money on me", but because I'm thinking, "Oh God, this is getting expensive". I'm not used to spending money like that so I get uncomfortable and wonder what is proper protocol: Do I accept, do I not accept? What is proper and considerate?
The only time I feel free to order anything and everything, whatever I want, is when I'm doing the paying and if I'm doing the paying, I already know what the most expensive thing on that menu is just in case he wants to get it. That way I know I can afford it before I ask him out.
Anyway, I totally saw myself in your fictional character. I'm not sure what that says about me. LOL!
Waiter: Welcome to Le Poisson. Right this way.
Susan: Wow, I have wanted to come here. I heard it's really good. Thank you for inviting me.
John: My pleasure. You look lovely tonight.
Susan: Thank you. You look very fine yourself.
Waiter: Your table. Your menus.
Susan: [Opens menu. Chokes a little.]
Susan: John, I think this might be a little out of my price range.
John: [I was really looking forward to eating here, but I appreciate her honesty] I was really looking forward to eating here, and it sounds like you were as well. I appreciate your honesty. I can get it
Susan: [I'm not really comfortable with that arrangement] I'm not really comfortable with that.
John: [It'd be a little weird, but we could get up and go someplace else]Do you want to go someplace else?
Susan: [it's a little strange to get up and walk out, but yes]. Won't that look weird?
John: [Yes. But who cares. We can go get a slice of pizza and walk around the boardwalk]. Yeah...but who cares. We can go to Ernesto's for a slice and head over to the boardwalk.
Susan: [That sounds nice]. That sounds nice
Waiter: Have you decided?
John: This is a bit embarrassing, but my wife and I are in a French class together, but we both thought that 'Poisson' meant 'poison' and thought that some hemlock would be easier than a divorce. Sorry for the confusion, but we're going to go.
Susan: [I can't believe he just said that]
Waiter: Uh...ok...
Susan & John: [Get up and go outside]
Susan: [Laughing: Grabs John's Arm] I can't believe you said that
Susan & John: [Have a great evening at the boardwalk]
Susan: John, I think this might be a little out of my price range.
John: [I was really looking forward to eating here, but I appreciate her honesty] I was really looking forward to eating here, and it sounds like you were as well. I appreciate your honesty. I can get it
Susan: [I'm not really comfortable with that arrangement] I'm not really comfortable with that.
John: [It'd be a little weird, but we could get up and go someplace else]Do you want to go someplace else?
Susan: [it's a little strange to get up and walk out, but yes]. Won't that look weird?
John: [Yes. But who cares. We can go get a slice of pizza and walk around the boardwalk]. Yeah...but who cares. We can go to Ernesto's for a slice and head over to the boardwalk.
Susan: [That sounds nice]. That sounds nice
Waiter: Have you decided?
John: This is a bit embarrassing, but my wife and I are in a French class together, but we both thought that 'Poisson' meant 'poison' and thought that some hemlock would be easier than a divorce. Sorry for the confusion, but we're going to go.
Susan: [I can't believe he just said that]
Waiter: Uh...ok...
Susan & John: [Get up and go outside]
Susan: [Laughing: Grabs John's Arm] I can't believe you said that
Susan & John: [Have a great evening at the boardwalk]
I think the most likely ending for this scenario is:
[Rest of evening is awkward. After a polite few hours, John and Susan part ways and never go out again.]
I had to laugh at that because that is how I am on a date unless I am the one who did the asking, (which means I expect to be paying).
If someone asks me out on a date, I go assuming I'm going to pay my share. It may not have been discussed, but I never assume that someone is going to pay for me.
Therefore, when we get the menus, sometimes I am overwhelmed by the prices and look for the cheapest thing I can find.
On some dates I have heard, "Get whatever you want", (to me that is a sign they are paying), and no matter WHAT that person just said, I still try to find the cheapest thing on the menu out of courtesy.
When they start asking me if I want to have an appetizer or drinks or something like that, I get a little anxious because in my head, I'm calculating the costs NOT because I'm looking to see, "Ok, let's see if he'll spend money on me", but because I'm thinking, "Oh God, this is getting expensive". I'm not used to spending money like that so I get uncomfortable and wonder what is proper protocol: Do I accept, do I not accept? What is proper and considerate?
The only time I feel free to order anything and everything, whatever I want, is when I'm doing the paying and if I'm doing the paying, I already know what the most expensive thing on that menu is just in case he wants to get it. That way I know I can afford it before I ask him out.
Anyway, I totally saw myself in your fictional character. I'm not sure what that says about me. LOL!
I am the same way. I mean, I don't date anymore, but I do go to expensive restaurants with friends, and my parents, grandparents and in-laws frequently take me out when I see them. I get very uncomfortable too. I don't think a pricey restaurant is a good place for a date, but that's me. Maybe a special occasion but not when you're trying to get to know me.
I think the most likely ending for this scenario is:
[Rest of evening is awkward. After a polite few hours, John and Susan part ways and never go out again.]
A) Why is that most likely?
B) So? If John and Susan aren't a good match, they aren't a good match. Either of them pretending that they are something that they aren't is a waste of both of their time
Susan: John, I think this might be a little out of my price range.
John: [I was really looking forward to eating here, but I appreciate her honesty] I was really looking forward to eating here, and it sounds like you were as well. I appreciate your honesty. I can get it
Susan: [I'm not really comfortable with that arrangement] I'm not really comfortable with that.
John: [It'd be a little weird, but we could get up and go someplace else]Do you want to go someplace else?
Susan: [it's a little strange to get up and walk out, but yes]. Won't that look weird?
John: [Yes. But who cares. We can go get a slice of pizza and walk around the boardwalk]. Yeah...but who cares. We can go to Ernesto's for a slice and head over to the boardwalk.
Susan: [That sounds nice]. That sounds nice
Waiter: Have you decided?
John: This is a bit embarrassing, but my wife and I are in a French class together, but we both thought that 'Poisson' meant 'poison' and thought that some hemlock would be easier than a divorce. Sorry for the confusion, but we're going to go.
Susan: [I can't believe he just said that]
Waiter: Uh...ok...
Susan & John: [Get up and go outside]
Susan: [Laughing: Grabs John's Arm] I can't believe you said that
Susan & John: [Have a great evening at the boardwalk]
That is a charming twist to the story, but I don't like to make my guests say things like, "I can't afford this." It's embarrassing. Maybe John could have proposed pizza and a stroll to begin with? But that raises the question: If he was willing to spend $75 on just his own food and drink, will he buy Susan's pizza when the tab is only $10?
That is a charming twist to the story, but I don't like to make my guests say things like, "I can't afford this." It's embarrassing.
That's why it is good to be honest and communicate, to avoid awkward situations.
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Nuts are yummy!
