I've been thinking about gender roles and whatnot (dating, women, love)
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So - this forum has gotten me thinking about gender roles, feminism, money, etc. It seems that some people on here blame feminism and women's lib for all their issues with women. The thing is - there are so many different forms of feminism - but the basis of feminism was to give women equal rights and protect them from such things as rape, sexually harassment, etc.
Women having equal rights - I'm not quite sure why anyone would have a problem with this. We should ALL of equal rights - every single human being. And we also should have equal pay (for the same job, of course) - no matter what gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, etc. Also - women (and men) should never have to put up with such things as rape, sexually harassment, physical abuse, etc. The thing is - these freedoms, rights, safeties, etc. - didn't always exist. People had to fight for them.
Now - wanting equal rights does not have anything to do with how a woman chooses to live her personal life. It seems that many men think that if a woman wants to have a successful career, she must also ask out men, pay for men, fix the car, etc. And some women may want that for themselves. But all women are not the same. Just because we have equal rights - what is so wrong if some of us want to have door opened for us? And guess what, I enjoy cooking dinner for my husband! I like that my husband is handy - he can install ceiling fans and rewire all the electrical stuff. He can fix the cars, the driveway, build shelves, etc. I love this about him! He loves that I take care of him - that I fold his clothes the way he likes, that I make him his favorite cookies, that I take care of all of our finances, that I write all our thank you notes, etc.
Just because I want to have a career - it doesn't mean I don't want to be a woman. And being a woman means different things to different women. I don't understand all the anger and hatred towards women on here - we are all so different. Some like to be treated, some like to treat. Some like to be wooed, some like to woo. I feel like some of the men on here are so bitter that it seems that what they really want is to be treated like a woman. They want to be asked out, treated, have gifts bought for them, etc. And that's fine - there are women out there that are wanting to do that. But just because all women are not like that - they say that all women are gold-diggers, prostitutes, etc. I just don't get it.
The fact is - there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be taken care of. There is nothing wrong with a man wanting to take care of woman. There is also nothing wrong with a woman wanting to take care of a man or a man wanting to be taken care of. We each find the person that is right for us. My husband and I take care of each other.
I think both genders need to treat each other like a treasure and love them with the means they have and look for one who enjoys giving what surplus they have in whatever commodity.
One man's golddigging trash is someone else's cookie baking treasure and vice versa.
I think both genders need to treat each other like a treasure and love them with the means they have and look for one who enjoys giving what surplus they have in whatever commodity.
One man's golddigging trash is someone else's cookie baking treasure and vice versa.
I guess that's my point - I'm just more long winded!
And being a woman means different things to different women. I don't understand all the anger and hatred towards women on here - we are all so different. Some like to be treated, some like to treat. Some like to be wooed, some like to woo. I feel like some of the men on here are so bitter that it seems that what they really want is to be treated like a woman. They want to be asked out, treated, have gifts bought for them, etc. And that's fine - there are women out there that are wanting to do that. But just because all women are not like that - they say that all women are gold-diggers, prostitutes, etc. I just don't get it.
I agree with you 100% on this.
I think though, gender roles have become confused over the years. All of this "should" and "shouldn't" bs has wrapped people up. It's sad for me to think that there are people out there looking for a bright line in this...like "after the 2nd date, everything must be split", or something of that nature.
Life doesn't work that way, and I find it incredibly sad to see that people are trying to make it so.
And, all of a sudden, women who like to be treated to things are considered "gold-diggers"? That's just insane.
Where have the people gone who are CONFIDENT in themselves and in their relationships, that these things are not a consideration? And, no, don't blame it on the women, or men, who you see as taking advantage of a situation.
It's about PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
Think about it. You know what you want. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for it.
I don't see a magic fix for all of this, other than for people to stop making excuses for why their relationships don't work out.
I have a sneaking suspicion that the same person who whines about his lady friend not picking up the tab wouldn't be complaining so much if he thought, in his heart of hearts, that this gal was "the one". So, take the responsibility for your own personal life, stop making excuses, and move on. It's really not so hard.
The problem with many women is they want to pick and choose when feminism and women's rights applies. It doesn't work that way and that's not why feminism started. You can't decide to fight for equal pay, treatment, etc; and then return to a passive role in dating. That's not feminism. That's wanting feminism when it benefits you.
The fact is - there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be taken care of. There is nothing wrong with a man wanting to take care of woman. There is also nothing wrong with a woman wanting to take care of a man or a man wanting to be taken care of. We each find the person that is right for us. My husband and I take care of each other.
There's nothing inherently wrong with anything. It's only challenging to find somebody matching your views and needs.
The problem with many women is they want to pick and choose when feminism and women's rights applies. It doesn't work that way and that's not why feminism started. You can't decide to fight for equal pay, treatment, etc; and then return to a passive role in dating. That's not feminism. That's wanting feminism when it benefits you.
This is my point. Wanting equal pay and equal rights has nothing to do with dating and relationships. So - do you think that if women want to be asked out and wooed, they should give up their right to vote? Do you think that if women want a man that opens a door for them - they should also only be allowed to be secretaries? Having equal rights has nothing to do with love.
If you prefer to be the passive one in the dating world - and be asked out, paid for, etc. - there is nothing wrong with that. But this has nothing to do with feminism or women at all - this only has to do with you and your personal preferences.
The problem with many women is they want to pick and choose when feminism and women's rights applies. It doesn't work that way and that's not why feminism started. You can't decide to fight for equal pay, treatment, etc; and then return to a passive role in dating. That's not feminism. That's wanting feminism when it benefits you.
While I align continuous demands of men paying for dates with prostitution, I don't agree here. The work force, equal rights under the law, and protections under the law are not in the same universe as choices people make in relationships/dating.
This is my point. Wanting equal pay and equal rights has nothing to do with dating and relationships. So - do you think that if women want to be asked out and wooed, they should give up their right to vote? Do you think that if women want a man that opens a door for them - they should also only be allowed to be secretaries? Having equal rights has nothing to do with love.
If you prefer to be the passive one in the dating world - and be asked out, paid for, etc. - there is nothing wrong with that. But this has nothing to do with feminism or women at all - this only has to do with you and your personal preferences.
If you're a true feminist, it applies to all areas of life. Along with rights comes responsibilities. I have no respect for those that demand in one area, and remain passive in another because it benefits them too much to become more aggressive. That's not feminism.
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