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Based on personal experiences, I absolutely agree.
Too many people plan elaborate first dates at five star restaurants or something similar. That impresses no one, and a first date is simply to see if there is basic chemistry and general comparability, and should be a simple coffee date.
But then I discovered something so, so crucial: I was doing first dates entirely wrong. They were way, way, wayyyyy too long. In reality, first dates should never be longer than an hour. More specifically, they should only be 57 minutes long, on the ****ing dot.
First dates—especially the ones that come from the swipe of a finger—should only be about gauging interest and attraction.
That's it. And, according to science, you can tell if you find someone attractive in three seconds. You don’t need to spend your whole evening with someone you just met when you can assess in three (three!) seconds whether or not you're physically attracted to them—and you def don’t need any liquid poison convincing you, either.
Based on personal experiences, I absolutely agree.
Too many people plan elaborate first dates at five star restaurants or something similar. That impresses no one, and a first date is simply to see if there is basic chemistry and general comparability, and should be a simple coffee date.
This isn't really news, in these days of online dating. LOTS of people just do a coffee-shop type of meet-&-greet, to determine if the person in the online profile is "real", and to see if there's mutual interest upon meeting.
Still, some people do go for the dinner date, to make an impression. That's so last century, though! I don't know how guys can even afford it; how many dinner dates/month with virtual strangers can they manage? It's not necessary. Dinner dates are more appropriate, when going on for the first time with someone you've known awhile, and you know that both of you are into each other. Then it makes sense. But even then, it's not neceasary; lunch and some kind of casual activity would do just fine, too.
We've had guys complaining on here, about "all" the women online, who expect dinner for a first date. If that's the case, just opt out. Nobody's holding a gun to your head. Just don't play the game. Find women who don't demand that. If all the women who physically appeal to you expect to be wined and dined, maybe the Universe is trying to tell you something about your selection criteria and value system.
Really ? 57 minutes seems too long. I was thinking a half hour visit at some coffee shop to keep it low key. Maybe the second date can last close to an hour.
I met my GF at a college food court. That “date” didn’t last 57 minutes, and was very casual.
For online dating, sure. In fact, arrange for a phone call or text to happen after about twenty minutes. ( Sorry, Date. I have to take this. ) It can be used as an excuse - oh no, grandma's in the hospital - gotta go. Or, I am busy, let me call you later.
If you actually already know the person you might want to make it more of a real date. And btw, when I was young I went on some Dutch dates. If you like someone and want to spend time with them, it's not a problem. I guess some people are afraid to suggest it, tho.
This article is dated Feb 2020. Claims she used this rule on a guy she met in September and they're still dating. Like it's a huge acomplishment to make it 5 months. Also says she tells the guy beforehand about the time limit... At least she warns guys about her personality beforehand.
Her bio says she dated 10,000 hours in her 20s... Do the math. Writes about going on 30 dates in one weekend. And look at the rest of the titles of her columns.
Good luck finding a man with standards that would commit.
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