Does trust have to be earned? (partner, definition, romantic, straight)
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I'm a strong believer in you are treated the way you allow yourself to be treated.
I'm 43 and honestly, I've only dated one ahole in my life so far ... All the rest were great guys, they just didnt work out ... I think attracting dishonest people stems from something - how one handles themselves in public, their esteem, confidence level, etc .......... Not always, but often ...
I'm generally a trusting person and people would have to do something to lose my trust.
I'd like to think I'm at least a decent judge of character. I've only been burned once by a girl I dated and knew well and I wouldn't equate her behavior with that of others.
I feel like it's unfair to me to have to earn someone's trust, especially if I come off as trustworthy upon meeting. That also brings up questions of how long and what do I have to do to earn trust, which seems like too much for me.
When you first meet someone do you believe trust has to be earned or do you give it away freely? This question concerns all relationships (friends, family, co-workers). Not just romantic relationships.
For me it does. Respect, I give automatically, and take it back if it's proved to be undeserved. But trust? Yeah...you have to earn that first.
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImCurlybelle
I have a friend who used to work for the police department and she would run background checks before dating people. That is so extreme to me, and ridiculous. If you're starting off on that foot, why bother ? I'd be livid if I found out someone researched me before even meeting me ...
I agree, and that kind of thing would bother me too, along with all the "Googling" online for info., even though some can try to justify it by citing all the "horror stories", yada-yada.
Besides the fact that it's just intrusive and basically disrespectful of each other's "boundaries" from the get-go, I'm mostly attracted to folks who seem to display "good judgment" in their lives. And if they can't trust themselves and their own judgment with people enuff that they always have to be "paranoid", well that's just not a good sign!
When you first meet someone do you believe trust has to be earned or do you give it away freely? This question concerns all relationships (friends, family, co-workers). Not just romantic relationships.
Trust is not earned, but learned. For example, I learn to trust others depending on how they behave toward me or others around me.
I tend to trust people until they give me a reason not to. I've always been a bit naive and too trusting of people, and as I've gotten older and experienced more [bad] things, I've learned to be a bit more cautious, but I'm still very trusting of people in general. I never enter a relationship with distrust or paranoias. I don't think they deserve paying the price of others before them. I also have a pretty good intuition/gut feeling, so I listen to that also.
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