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I was hoping that would have been self-evident. I've been feeling the stirrings of bitterness for a while now, unfortunately. Can you blame me? Heh.
Yes Soviet...I can blame you...sorry....but if you want a long relationship with a woman, you have to get to know her first...sometimes even before (gasp) you have sex....If a woman is disrespecting you by changing date times, or just not showing up...that in it's own should tell you that she's not ready...and rather than be bitter about it...you should see it as a sign that you should move on to another, and not "waste your time" as you so eloquently put it.
Well, I've read through all the posts & once again, they were rather illuminating. Much appreciated.
I've heard the argument "if you're repeatedly failing with girls, it's not her; it's you" several times. And here are my thoughts on it.
I've always believed I'm an awesome, amazing person that anyone would be lucky to be with. I'm a selfless friend, but not a doormat. I have friends that I would do anything for and who would do anything for me, not because it's convenient, but because we're true, best friends in the deepest sense of the word. Everyone I meet tells me I'm one of the most awesome, craziest people they've ever met. Everyone has a freaking BLAST with me.
I can accept the argument that perhaps I am trying too hard with girls by not REALLY being myself. I know what my personality is like and it can be overwhelming sometimes, so with girls I try to tone it down a little bit. Perhaps they sense that & they think that I'm faking things & they end things because of that. Maybe, I'm not sure.
1 of the MAIN things that convince me that it ISN'T me is the way the girls have behaved......they just lie. LIE. WTF? I find that extraordinarily disrespectful and hurtful. It's a broken moral compass on their part & I feel as though I dodged a bullet, but it's still so painful to think that someone who seemed so amazing could be so rotten inside.
Not every girl has lied, of course and I will forever respect them for that. But I simply cannot imagine that it's "just me". There has to be someone who will like me.
I'm working on things with this 1 girl, but they're coming along rather slowly. I guess that's for the best. I dunno.
I appreciate your arguments and opinions. They definitely give me something to think about. Thank you.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,121,778 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soviet
Well, I've read through all the posts & once again, they were rather illuminating. Much appreciated.
I've heard the argument "if you're repeatedly failing with girls, it's not her; it's you" several times. And here are my thoughts on it.
I've always believed I'm an awesome, amazing person that anyone would be lucky to be with. I'm a selfless friend, but not a doormat. I have friends that I would do anything for and who would do anything for me, not because it's convenient, but because we're true, best friends in the deepest sense of the word. Everyone I meet tells me I'm one of the most awesome, craziest people they've ever met. Everyone has a freaking BLAST with me.
I can accept the argument that perhaps I am trying too hard with girls by not REALLY being myself. I know what my personality is like and it can be overwhelming sometimes, so with girls I try to tone it down a little bit. Perhaps they sense that & they think that I'm faking things & they end things because of that. Maybe, I'm not sure.
1 of the MAIN things that convince me that it ISN'T me is the way the girls have behaved......they just lie. LIE. WTF? I find that extraordinarily disrespectful and hurtful. It's a broken moral compass on their part & I feel as though I dodged a bullet, but it's still so painful to think that someone who seemed so amazing could be so rotten inside.
Not every girl has lied, of course and I will forever respect them for that. But I simply cannot imagine that it's "just me". There has to be someone who will like me.
I'm working on things with this 1 girl, but they're coming along rather slowly. I guess that's for the best. I dunno.
I appreciate your arguments and opinions. They definitely give me something to think about. Thank you.
Maybe it's both them and you. I mean maybe they're lying because you're coming on a bit strong, or they're not that attracted to you but they don't want to put themselves in an awkward situation/tell you how it is? They may think they're being nice but it's not respectable. I don't think most people would CHOOSE to lie if given the option to be honest and if they were comfortable with being honest, so maybe you have to examine your approach and wonder why they are being dishonest with you. If they are the dishonest type, then why waste anytime on them anyway?
Maybe it's both them and you. I mean maybe they're lying because you're coming on a bit strong, or they're not that attracted to you but they don't want to put themselves in an awkward situation/tell you how it is? They may think they're being nice but it's not respectable. I don't think most people would CHOOSE to lie if given the option to be honest and if they were comfortable with being honest, so maybe you have to examine your approach and wonder why they are being dishonest with you. If they are the dishonest type, then why waste anytime on them anyway?
Exactly. I'm not missing out on anything.....I'm just missing out on the person I thought they were. But what someone seems to be and who they really are doesn't always mesh. That's why it takes time to get to know someone.
Le sigh. Maybe I just wear my heart on my sleeve, ha.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,121,778 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soviet
Exactly. I'm not missing out on anything.....I'm just missing out on the person I thought they were. But what someone seems to be and who they really are doesn't always mesh. That's why it takes time to get to know someone.
Le sigh. Maybe I just wear my heart on my sleeve, ha.
Yeah I've met seemingly nice girls who were flaky and phoney. Sometimes you have to watch out for the ones who seem too nice, too enthusiastic...oftentimes the girls who seem a little more inaccessible, closed-off, not obsequiously polite when you first meet them turn out to be the most geniune, honest and caring/loving. Society judges people too much on what they see on the surface; they prefer a bad book with a nice cover to a shabby old tome with some substance to it.
Yup, yup. Very much single, but also VERY MUCH working on it!
I was trying to help you out the other night
She actually sounded like a good level headed person to boot.
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I've been feeling the stirrings of bitterness for a while now, unfortunately. Can you blame me? Heh.
