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Don't lie at all. You bend the truth. " I think I need to lose weight my pants are getting tight. Will you help me work out?" Says the wife.....meanwhile it's the hubby whom you are buying more pants for or taking out his pants. So you get exercise and so does he.
I don't call it "bending the truth". To me it is just sensible and being sensitive to your partners ego to use discretion in the "truth" you tell
If I am asked a specific question then I give an honest answer. Does that dress look bad on her... Well ladies I hate to tell ya but sometimes it does and I'm honest about it. I will admit there are things I don't openly tell the GF about. She doesn't need to know about the strippers at the bachelor party or the $500 I spent on some misc toy. But if she asked directly I would tell her the truth.
Way I look at it is she is with me because of who I am. I was honest with her in the years before we were dating and I've been honest with her as long as we've been together. See no reason to change.
If I am asked a specific question then I give an honest answer. Does that dress look bad on her... Well ladies I hate to tell ya but sometimes it does and I'm honest about it. I will admit there are things I don't openly tell the GF about. She doesn't need to know about the strippers at the bachelor party or the $500 I spent on some misc toy. But if she asked directly I would tell her the truth.
Way I look at it is she is with me because of who I am. I was honest with her in the years before we were dating and I've been honest with her as long as we've been together. See no reason to change.
hmmm....to me, omitting the truth is the same thing as lying.
If you think you are being honest with her you are even lying to yourself!
If I am asked a specific question then I give an honest answer. Does that dress look bad on her... Well ladies I hate to tell ya but sometimes it does and I'm honest about it. I will admit there are things I don't openly tell the GF about. She doesn't need to know about the strippers at the bachelor party or the $500 I spent on some misc toy. But if she asked directly I would tell her the truth.
Way I look at it is she is with me because of who I am. I was honest with her in the years before we were dating and I've been honest with her as long as we've been together. See no reason to change.
You will tell her that she looks bad in a dress but you won't tell her about strippers and spending a bunch of money??? Something is wrong with this picture...
hmmm....to me, omitting the truth is the same thing as lying.
If you purposely omit something,then yes that's pretty much the same as lying. But you're not going to remember every single thing that's ever happened. For example:
-Neglecting to mention your assault charge from a drunken bar brawl = omitting the truth
-Neglecting to mention you were a bully prior to high school = not so much
You will tell her that she looks bad in a dress but you won't tell her about strippers and spending a bunch of money??? Something is wrong with this picture...
Well, for both your sakes I just hope you are sure of your facts and don't accuse anyone of anything until you know things for sure! Sometimes these kinds of situations are just misunderstandings that can be straightened out with some open communication Good luck, hope it's not at bad as you fear!
yes, i am sure of my facts, no misunderstanding, i am the type of person who is always honest, i expect the same in return, i trusted this person completely, and i found out alot of things this person has been hiding from me, even when i asked him directly if he was doing certian things, he denied them, and these things were no big deal, but the fact that he denied them and lied to me made it a big deal. why deny it? why not just tell me the truth when i asked, then it would have been a non issue. I have never kept any thing from him, always been completely honest with him, thats why it hurts so much, because i expected the same, i deserved the same, also, ive been very sick the last two months and i expected this person whom ive known for 23yrs to be there for me but, he has abandoned me emotionally, in the past two months he has never once asked how i was feeling, or asked what any of the doctors have told me, and there are no lines of communication because he never talks, he justs screams alot, he has always been like that, just yells alot. I think ive gone off topic, but just needed to vent i guess
I can't think of a reason to lie to my wife. But this is a lady who can even make 33 weeks pregnant look good.
I would hate it if she lied to me about something like looks and I walked around looking stupid.
That is the worst....Especially if you are one of those people that are blatantly honest...
I am VERY honest and I like to be treated the same in kind and when it does not happen? I shut down...
Especially if the person knows me well or we are in a relationship...I would always want the truth...regardless....AND YES SOME PEOPLE DOP WANT IT....I may not be crazy about it however I would respect that person that much more..
yes, i may not always like what they tell me, but i respect that they are honest, ESPECIALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP, because if you dont have honesty in a relationship, then you have nothing.Thats why i can sleep good at night and hold my head up high because im not lying to anybody, im not hurting anybody, and they never have any doubt, and never wonder if im telling them the truth, they know im honest. I am like you, when i am lied to i take it very personal, and i shut down.
yes, i am sure of my facts, no misunderstanding, i am the type of person who is always honest, i expect the same in return, i trusted this person completely, and i found out alot of things this person has been hiding from me, even when i asked him directly if he was doing certian things, he denied them, and these things were no big deal, but the fact that he denied them and lied to me made it a big deal. why deny it? why not just tell me the truth when i asked, then it would have been a non issue. I have never kept any thing from him, always been completely honest with him, thats why it hurts so much, because i expected the same, i deserved the same, also, ive been very sick the last two months and i expected this person whom ive known for 23yrs to be there for me but, he has abandoned me emotionally, in the past two months he has never once asked how i was feeling, or asked what any of the doctors have told me, and there are no lines of communication because he never talks, he justs screams alot, he has always been like that, just yells alot. I think ive gone off topic, but just needed to vent i guess
Sorry you are having a hard time in your relationship
And it sounds like you are having some health problems too, which can always make everything seem so much worse. Hope things work out on both fronts for you real soon.
You asked, if he isn't doing anything wrong, "why deny?"
Well, I've known of situations sort of like you are describing. And not to make excuses for your guy, but sometimes when people are feeling as though their partner is being too controlling they will get more tight lipped about what they are doing, even when they aren't doing anything wrong. They just start to keep things to themselves and be less open with their thoughts and activities as a way of maintaining what control they can.
Basically, it sounds like you two are caught in some kind of power struggle. Ask yourself, is it possible he feels you are being too controlling? (not saying you are, just giving you food for thought).
23 years together is a LONG time. Hope you are both able to get back to a team approach to your relationship and work the issues out
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