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A couple of months ago I had a bit of a sad conversation with a woman who was convinced that men actually cared (Much) about how many people you've slept with. She even went as far as to say that a man would rather be with a woman who has been used and abused by five guys, than a woman who has a healthy sexuality that has been with 25 guys. She alo said a man wll never marry a woman like that, and that women with high numbers are sluts.
I happen to disagree with this line of thinking when it comes to men, but it seems as if Im running into more and more women who actually beleive this to be true.
Lets find out what everyone thinks, and answer some questions.
Whats your number?
[My number is 9. ]
If you're dating a man/woman, does their number matter?
[No, as long as they are STD free]
Do you think you should be judged by the number of sexual partners you have?
[No, and ive never been directly judged by it either.]
I do.. Personally , I'd rather only marry a virgin, but would be open to a non-virgin assuming it wasn't a result of just sleeping around for fun.. But, I am a religious guy.. I'm sure most everyone else here will say they don't care, even though , deep inside, they probably do. I remember even among the hippy crowd I hung out with when I was young that everyone would make jokes and give funny facial looks of disgust about the girl who screwed all the guys.
As far as being a woman abused or raped by 5 guys, well most men feel sympathy for that type of girl. Seriously, a man might even be more attracted to a woman who is abused, because he feels she is broken and needs to find someone to trust. Basically , he doesn't fear of a woman like this to go and jump in the sack with all his friends or with strange guys met while he is a way for a week. On the other hand, the sex and the city types who go carousing the bars for guys and screwing various men they meet at parties, which is 100% consensual, will strike a nervous chord in most men. Basically, an abused girl still seems more innocent, whereas a girl who indulges, has been pampered and sleeps around is thought of as dirty, loose, untrustworthy and uncontrollable. Regardless of me being religious, I feel that both secular and more religious type of men share this inherent belief about women, whether they admit it or not.
As far as the fact you slept with 9 guys.. Well, I think it is somewhat gross, but that doesn't mean other men will think that. What you may find is that any decent gentleman, may keep his mouth shut and not tell you what he thinks, but somewhere inside he will feel a bit grossed out too that he is sharing the same womb with 9 other guys. It is a strange thing, perhaps goes back to culture or the fact that women are receivers rather than givers. I, myself couldn't marry or sleep with a woman who slept with 9 guys. Unlike, other men though I could share my views liberally and openly. Most men will share this view, but will keep it to themselves or make jokes behind your back.
Basically, leave the 9 guys off your dating/marriage resume.. I suppose nobody will really know. Unless you are planning on visiting an Eastern country that performs virginity tests on brides, I highly doubt anyone will find out the number of previous relations.
Last edited by MysticalDream; 10-25-2011 at 09:28 PM..
The only way it might become an answer for me is if I asked how many relationships have you had before. It would be a tangent of the anwer, assuming the answer was given.
Now, if the answer was just "I slept with X guys" and didn't directly answer the quetion I might be thrown off a bit. Like you were trying tell me you never were in one or just preferred being single and sleeping around, which would probably be a red flag to me
Im guessing mystical dream is a virgin. Because to be honest that reply sounds like something coming from a 15-year-old girl who just found Jesus.
Now, now.. No need to get hostile.. That reply also sounds like it could have come from a 90 year old Jewish Rabbi who had one wife , 10 kids and never cheated on his wife and his wife never cheated on him. It also could have come from a 60 year old Catholic Priest. Or, it could have came from a 50 year old Muslim woman who kept her virginity for her husband and has never been with another man.
Seriously, Serenity, 15 year old female Jesus freaks aren't the only people who think premarital sex is wrong.
As for me, yes I am a virgin and happy that I have stayed one for over three decades. What would I have gained by having premarital sex except the feelings of guilt that you are now professing, albeit indirectly..
That isn't to say, there isn't hope for you if you repent from your ways. I am also from a Middle Eastern Culture. I think many Western Christian men can marry a woman who has slept with many men, but I myself, really would want a virgin. I think marrying a woman who has had such self-indulgent premarital sex would bring shame on me. Why share my soul with a person who most likely will have no appreciation for it?
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