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You'd have a MUCH better understanding if you actually read the entire thread before commenting. Don't jump the gun -- give it time to warm up.
No jumping the gun for me. I'll call it as I see it, a potentially selfish person for not wanting their friend to have time to themselves, It would throw red flags for me of a controlling person.
I'm all warmed up...just becasue it's not what you want to hear doesn't mean it's not my opinion.
Are you really adjusting your time for him ? becuz when your in a relationship w somone for a while you both start adapting to each other its really jus a natral thing that happens and its fine. But back to the real problem of it annoying you so much. Why does it annoy you so? It sounds harmless, Its not like hes out going to strip clubs and gambling. Everyone needs there "ME TIME" and thats his. Im 34 and god if i didnt have my "me time", Whatever it may be, I would go crazy
I know it could be worse, and I suppose something inside me just wants to spend more time than not with him.
It sounds like you ARE spending more time with him than not. Right? If you are spending even just 4 nights a week together, that's the majority of the week...
Your posts remind me of someone I once dated. He was never going to be happy until he got his way 100% of the time. I compromised and compromised and he complained and complained that it wasn't enough. He would have rathered I be completely unhappy and he be very happy, instead of their being an equal split.
Planning or not, you should really lighten up. Are you comfortable with yourself? Because it sounds like you can't deal with being alone or having nothing to do alone - like you need to be entertained. If that's the issue with him springing this on you last minute, that's your issue, not his.
If he's a good guy and this is what you have to complain about, you have it pretty good. Take it from someone who needs personal space - you're going to chase him off if you keep acting so needy and controlling.
I'm sorry. Are you asking for something fun and romantic 7 days a week?
He's asking for a couple nights to play video games. It's a innocent way to spend time unwinding. I love non-intrusive ways to spend my time mindlessly. (I'm here. Right?!?)
Can't you compromise and spend your time here, or reading, or balancing your checkbook... something?
I know it could be worse, and I suppose something me just wants to spend more time than not with him. He always asks if I mind that he play, and if I have something planned for us he wouldn't ever blow it off. I just wish he would wake up in the morning, or give me some advanced notice instead of waiting until the last second to tell me, then, I can't make any plans & end up sitting at home alone cleaning the place or something. I always take thursday night as my girls night out. PTulip-It is okay to want to spend time with your SO especially when the relationship is new however too much time together can be encroaching...give him a chance to miss you a little bit.. It really is about QUALITY not QUANTITY... I have known couples whom spend all of their time together in the same house yet barely speak to one another, are in seperate sides of the house...SPACE is mandatory for every healthy couple and individual...I personally cannot stand clingy men it is my number one pet peeve... You stated something key here- If you have something planned? He would never blow it off, sounds like a nice guy... Question? Why can you not make plans? Call a friend ask to hang out, go to a movie..yes by yourself...it can be fun..I do it to unwind sometimes..
I suppose sometimes honestly I feel like I'm the one putting forth the effort. We had a discussion recently about moving in together. Not for financial reasons or anything, I Guess I would just feel better if he was at home playing video games and we lived together. I fully trust him, we mesh very well but I sometimes I wonder if we're just not on the same level. Urgh. <<< more of a vent than asking for advice.
Effort to hang out? Make all of the plans? Well perhaps you are stronger in this area...I know personally I am way laid back, sometimes to laid back, I loathe making plans I would rather just go with the flow..this is my weakness I know this but it does not mean I value my partner any less.. Re: Moving in...lol..be careful what you wish for...he may just want to play video games all the time...
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
Hrmmmmmmmmm...
I dunno. I schedule my ME time around when I am already not going to be around my wife. I value every second we do get to spend together...I'm not going to use precious time we both have off doing something else and ignoring her completely. Lame.
As I stated in the post above, it is not about every moment with your SO but rather quality time when you do spend it.. I personally think it is healthy when an individual has a hobby or a sport they like to play, a club they belong too...within reason and it does not monopolize all the spare time in the relationship..
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain
Xbox over vagina?? GOODBYE!!!
lol..not really, he sees her 5 times a week...
I understand wanting to spend alot of time with ones' SO however most people need time to themselves as well and this is perfectly healthy...After all we all began as individuals correct? For some of us there is a demand of alone time to unwind and defrag especially after work... A couple of hours to clear your mind from work and get into something enjoyable..healthy and normal..This may be represented in different ways and as long as the relationship does not suffer from it this is normal behavior.. In this particular case the OP's BF plays video games two times a week...the only arising issue is the heads up..this can be easily solved with communicating..since the rest of the relationship seems to happy and healthy... Clingy gets old fast and the other more independant individual may tire from it...just saying..I know this is true for me..
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