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It's simple. I've concluded that there's no way any woman would want to go out with me once she got to know me. But since I never ask any women out or interact with people much at all, I can always hang on to the belief that all of my social problems are due to me being shy and me choosing to not interact with people, not due to me being unlikable. Even though I believe I'm unlikeable, I can always have that little voice in the back of my head saying, "no, people would like you, you just never talk to them". But if I started making an effort to meet people, and my fears ended up being realized and it was confirmed that people really don't like me even when I make an effort, I'd feel worse than ever. And so, it's better to just not make an effort.
So, the way it is I can go around thinking that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is that I'm too shy to ask women out and that if I'd ever tried, I would have had a girlfriend, not that I'm fundamentally unlikeable.
I don't ask women out because of I did and they said yes, I would be in deep trouble. I have no idea how to act on a date and don't know what to do.
Actually, that's true for me too. I know that I'd do something on the date to make them mad. So, it's much easier and less scary to simply not go on any dates.
I could never understand during my power drinking days why women would give me their phone numbers when I was in full A/H mode in a bar.. I would hit on one woman, get a phone number and then move on to another one and they all knew what I was doing.
There's someone for everyone.. In your case just look for a woman with lower self esteem than you..
If you try and fail, then you know you're a failure.
If you never try, you can believe that you could be a sucess if you tried.
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