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Ladies, you are on a first date with a guy, you are really into him, and you think the date is going great, you are laughing, smiling, lightly flirting, over all having a great time...
I as a male have been on many first dates like this, when I just don't see a future with her mentally, physically I'm attracted to her, but the more I talk to her on the date, the less attractive she becomes to me. I've heard of guys being rude and just walking off or ending the date abruptly, or just being unteresting or cold... But I figure why act like that especially if I know she's really into me, plus whe are already out, so why not, smile, laugh, joke, and have a good time and but at the sametime I don't want to lead her on
So my question to the ladies is what do you want us guys to do? I know everyone hates -male or female- when someone you thought you had a great time with just doesn't call you after the first date. Should I explain it to them after the first date face to face? What should I say? Would women perfer if I said, we could still be good friends if you wanted?
Also, another question is what do you say when a girl you aren't attracted to physically asks you out (she knows you are single or I could just say I have a girl), the thing is, should I just be direct and say I'm not attracted to you? I know that in the past by trying to spare her feelings and not just say no I'm not into you, they just keep coming back or If I just say no, they always ask why? I'm friendly and fun toward everyone, but many women have in the past taken it as me liking them personally, not noticing that I act that way toward everyone, male or female
Just tell her after the date is over. But please don't say "we'll be in touch" or "I'll call you." That's what drive us crazy and bring us to this forum to post
Look at it the same way you would if you were firing an employee who was not a good fit. If you are being let go, you don't want your boss to hem and haw leading up to it, or worse, to passive-aggressively avoid you and shun you until they got up the guts to fire you.
If, by the end of the date, you know you don't want to see the woman anymore, be direct but polite.
"Thanks for meeting me tonight. I enjoyed it. I want to let you know that I don't think we are a good match, but I had fun getting to know you a little and I wish you the best."
Something like that.
If she has questions, answer them honestly and politely, but keep it like a business relationship. No one wants to drag out three, four, five dates waiting to see if it gets better or trying to figure out where things are going.
You aren't married to the person. Don't let guilt get in the way. Just take advantage of the fact that it's a first date.
And even though I know tons of guys will do just this, definitely don't take advantage of the fact that someone might be willing when you KNOW you aren't truly into them.
You could always start yawning during the date, flicking through your phone messages....that should give her a hint that you are not into her.
If you don't fancy a girl and she asks you out.....say "Sure, I know a couple of other people who would like to come along...I'll ask them and get back to you" - if she doesn't get the hint. Say "Sorry, I'm really into someone at the moment, so I am technically unavailable, but thank you "
I would prefer honesty but it takes alot of balls to say that into somebodys face.
I tried the stupid excuses like jennaflorrie suggested and they never got the hint. I am married and guys still come on to me, even my "I am married excuse" doesn't get through.
I have to tell them then, I am NOT interested. That usually does the job but they often start badmouthing me.
I agree at the end of the date is the time to do it. How about something along the lines of, I had a good time, it was fun, and I wish you luck in finding your Mr. Right?
As far as girls asking you out and you don't want to go, that's easy. Just say, I'm not dating at this time.
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