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I was out with some friends this Saturday at a club, and first when we came in one of my friends spotted 2 girls drinking self-luminescent drinks, and told me to "wing" him.
I have no idea how to "wing" someone, but I felt I'd be embarrassed to tell him, and that it would make it awkward for him because we were already walking straight towards them when he said it, and they spotted us and looked straight at us (the club was half empty at first), so I didn't want to diss him right infront of them...
So I went there and while he started talking to the one he was going for I said "hi" to the other, supposed I was supposed to keep her occupied somehow, and kind of got nervous, because I don't really know how to do the "small-talk" thing. Luckily for me she started asking me some questions when I had run out of the usual/standard "what do you study?, how far are have you gone?" etc and we sort of fell into conversation for a couple of minutes...During this time my friend got shot down by the other girl, and went to get drinks in the bar.
I kept talking to the girl for another couple of minutes and then she said she wanted a drink so i offered to buy her one, but she said she'd pay it. we stood in line for a while, but our conversation died out so i said I'd go and take a glass of water and then we kind of lost each other in the crowd(the nightclub was smack-full of people by this time).
So an hour passes, and a cute girl on the dancefloor aproaches me and asks my name, where I'm from etc. a couple of questions back and forth and then we sort of got awkwardly silent, she danced awaye back to her friends and that was that.
Also about this girl my friends says that she was hitting on me, and why I didn't at least take her number, but I didn't know she was interested
First off, how do I know if a girl is hitting on me or just talking to me if she doesn't say something obvious like "come home with me"?
Second off, what do you say if you think someone might...be interested or something.
The women I've been with so far have all taken the first steps, but as fast as I try to imply that I like a girl or suggest to exchange numbers or w/e it always falls flat or a conversation dies out into nothing
It's really getting on my nerves...
Before saturday I had not been out since october, because I was taking a break from trying to find someone, and saturday i only went out because i had nothing better to do, I'm not really comfortable with the whole night-club setting, so I don't really know how to behave, other than that I'm really self-conscious.
In spite of this I went out just about every weekend(sometimes twice) for over 18 months trying to "learn" how to handle myself in places like it, and how to conversate with people, but I just don't get it... what do I do about this?
I was out with some friends this Saturday at a club, and first when we came in one of my friends spotted 2 girls drinking self-luminescent drinks, and told me to "wing" him.
I have no idea how to "wing" someone, but I felt I'd be embarrassed to tell him, and that it would make it awkward for him because we were already walking straight towards them when he said it, and they spotted us and looked straight at us (the club was half empty at first), so I didn't want to diss him right infront of them...
So I went there and while he started talking to the one he was going for I said "hi" to the other, supposed I was supposed to keep her occupied somehow, and kind of got nervous, because I don't really know how to do the "small-talk" thing. Luckily for me she started asking me some questions when I had run out of the usual/standard "what do you study?, how far are have you gone?" etc and we sort of fell into conversation for a couple of minutes...During this time my friend got shot down by the other girl, and went to get drinks in the bar.
I kept talking to the girl for another couple of minutes and then she said she wanted a drink so i offered to buy her one, but she said she'd pay it. we stood in line for a while, but our conversation died out so i said I'd go and take a glass of water and then we kind of lost each other in the crowd(the nightclub was smack-full of people by this time).
So an hour passes, and a cute girl on the dancefloor aproaches me and asks my name, where I'm from etc. a couple of questions back and forth and then we sort of got awkwardly silent, she danced awaye back to her friends and that was that.
Also about this girl my friends says that she was hitting on me, and why I didn't at least take her number, but I didn't know she was interested
First off, how do I know if a girl is hitting on me or just talking to me if she doesn't say something obvious like "come home with me"?
Second off, what do you say if you think someone might...be interested or something.
The women I've been with so far have all taken the first steps, but as fast as I try to imply that I like a girl or suggest to exchange numbers or w/e it always falls flat or a conversation dies out into nothing
It's really getting on my nerves...
Before saturday I had not been out since october, because I was taking a break from trying to find someone, and saturday i only went out because i had nothing better to do, I'm not really comfortable with the whole night-club setting, so I don't really know how to behave, other than that I'm really self-conscious.
In spite of this I went out just about every weekend(sometimes twice) for over 18 months trying to "learn" how to handle myself in places like it, and how to conversate with people, but I just don't get it... what do I do about this?
There is no hidden secret to figuring out if a girl is actually interested in you. One thing I know for certain is that if she approaches you, she is most definitely interested. No girl would approach a guy and ask your name, where your from, etc. if she wasn't at least interested. In regards to the girl at the bar, you have to sort of probe them for answers in order to gauge their interest.
Ask her if she has a boyfriend, usually this is the ultimate give away that you are interested, but its also a gauge to see if she is interested in you. Depending upon HOW she answers it, will tell you whether or not she has any interest. Also, if she answers yes, then there is no guessing at all.
If you are too afraid to ask about boyfriend, then use the length of her answers to help you gauge. If she is short with you, she is not interested.
There is no hidden secret to figuring out if a girl is actually interested in you. One thing I know for certain is that if she approaches you, she is most definitely interested. No girl would approach a guy and ask your name, where your from, etc. if she wasn't at least interested. In regards to the girl at the bar, you have to sort of probe them for answers in order to gauge their interest.
Ask her if she has a boyfriend, usually this is the ultimate give away that you are interested, but its also a gauge to see if she is interested in you. Depending upon HOW she answers it, will tell you whether or not she has any interest. Also, if she answers yes, then there is no guessing at all.
If you are too afraid to ask about boyfriend, then use the length of her answers to help you gauge. If she is short with you, she is not interested.
I'm not afraid of asking anything, I've already fallen flat so many times I don't have much dignity left to lose. But if I ask about boyfriend will she not reject me for being too forward?
And what does "probing for answers" mean? There is only so many questions I can come up with out of the blue...
To the OP, the thing with getting girls is to keep the conversation going for just long enough to keep them interested. I know you didn't do this, and I'm glad you didn't, but just for future reference make sure you never follow a chick around if she's clearly trying to end the conversation. Doesn't make you look too good.
And the way to tell if a girl is hitting on you, from my experience(s), is if THEY approach you. The conversation with the first girl who was with the other one your friend was talking to wasn't hitting on you and most likely wasn't interested if she bought her own drink.
Now, the other girl that came over to you while dancing was definitely into you. Girls like to be hit on, but when they hit on a guy, there's a huge chance she wants you. Don't maintain a long conversation with her, but get to know her name, where she's from, maybe what she studies and then ask her if she'd like to get out of the club with you.
To the OP, the thing with getting girls is to keep the conversation going for just long enough to keep them interested. I know you didn't do this, and I'm glad you didn't, but just for future reference make sure you never follow a chick around if she's clearly trying to end the conversation. Doesn't make you look too good.
And the way to tell if a girl is hitting on you, from my experience(s), is if THEY approach you. The conversation with the first girl who was with the other one your friend was talking to wasn't hitting on you and most likely wasn't interested if she bought her own drink.
She asked me to come with her for a drink...
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Now, the other girl that came over to you while dancing was definitely into you. Girls like to be hit on, but when they hit on a guy, there's a huge chance she wants you. Don't maintain a long conversation with her, but get to know her name, where she's from, maybe what she studies and then ask her if she'd like to get out of the club with you.
Just like that?
"Would you like to get out of here?"
If it's really that simple I ought to shoot myself. I'd think it's too forward though?
I must have read your post incorrectly as I thought you said that you two started talking blah blah blah and then you offered to buy her a drink. If she asked you to go with her to get a drink, you probably should have offered to pay (as you did) and then maybe gotten her number after you got your drinks. It's tough to say as I wasn't there overlooking.
Quote:
Just like that?
"Would you like to get out of here?"
If it's really that simple I ought to shoot myself. I'd think it's too forward though?
Lol it is quite forward, but I don't know, works for me. You seem to be more of a conversational, chill guy to me. But girls like guys who take action and suggest certain things. The key to this is to not be discouraged if she says no or something like that (such as when the girl didn't let you buy her drink).
See what I'm saying? Maybe I'm bad at giving advice lol.
I did, ur self conscious and dont really like the night club setting, so how do you expect to pick up chicks in that setting if u dont want to be there. And what convo do you really expect to have? If you meet a girl somewhere else chances are you'll have more to talk about especially if its doing an activity and u wont have to fight the noise level
I did, ur self conscious and dont really like the night club setting, so how do you expect to pick up chicks in that setting if u dont want to be there. And what convo do you really expect to have? If you meet a girl somewhere else chances are you'll have more to talk about especially if its doing an activity and u wont have to fight the noise level
Chill out man. I agree with you about not having to fight the noise level and about how picking up girls outside of a club may be a better idea. But I wouldn't say that he's a self-conscious guy just because he can't distinguish whether a girl is hitting on him or not. He just doesn't know the signals is what I'm guessing.
Meeting girls outside of the clubs is a really good idea though. I've met girls working in coffee shops, restaurants, and studying in the library. It's kind of fun meeting girls while they work because if you catch them on their break, sometimes they stop and have coffee with you or something because they know they have to get back to work shortly.
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