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As some of you know, my girlfriend is currently undergoing chemotherapy treatments for lymphoma. Valentine's day is coming up, so what are some little things I could do for her to make her feel loved? We probably can't go out anywhere, and she likely won't have an appetite due to the chemo. Flowers are out (chemo compromises the immune system and flowers are one of the many things she needs to avoid). She'll be pretty fatigued and probably still feeling very sick so we'll be spending it at her parents' house. She already said no gifts and I fully agree. Our gift to ourselves is a trip to Hawaii when all this crap is over assuming I can come up with the funds
I'm thinking that all we can (and should) do is simply spend time together. I just gave her a love note last week for a special occasion so that's a no-go too! Any thoughts or advice? Anyone ever been in a similar situation?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Garfunkle524
As some of you know, my girlfriend is currently undergoing chemotherapy treatments for lymphoma. Valentine's day is coming up, so what are some little things I could do for her to make her feel loved? We probably can't go out anywhere, and she likely won't have an appetite due to the chemo. Flowers are out (chemo compromises the immune system and flowers are one of the many things she needs to avoid). She'll be pretty fatigued and probably still feeling very sick so we'll be spending it at her parents' house. She already said no gifts and I fully agree. Our gift to ourselves is a trip to Hawaii when all this crap is over assuming I can come up with the funds
I'm thinking that all we can (and should) do is simply spend time together. I just gave her a love note last week for a special occasion so that's a no-go too! Any thoughts or advice? Anyone ever been in a similar situation?
I think the best present you can give is your presence as long as you can give it. That alone, in her condition, will be like striking oil.
I think the best present you can give is your presence as long as you can give it. That alone, in her condition, will be like striking oil.
What does that mean?
OP, perhaps you could run her a bubble bath and have music there, maybe some ginger-ale if her tummy is upset. A calming meditation healing type CD might be nice. I'd suggest a massage, but that might not be ideal in her condition. You could rent a few of her favorite types of movies and just have a cozy night. All the best to the both of you this tues.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn
What does that mean?
OP, perhaps you could run her a bubble bath and have music there, maybe some ginger-ale if her tummy is upset. A calming meditation healing type CD might be nice. I'd suggest a massage, but that might not be ideal in her condition. You could rent a few of her favorite types of movies and just have a cozy night. All the best to the both of you this tues.
Be there as long as possible, if he got the day off, be there the whole day, that's all I'm saying.
Man, does everything I post here need to be negative?!
As some of you know, my girlfriend is currently undergoing chemotherapy treatments for lymphoma. Valentine's day is coming up, so what are some little things I could do for her to make her feel loved? We probably can't go out anywhere, and she likely won't have an appetite due to the chemo. Flowers are out (chemo compromises the immune system and flowers are one of the many things she needs to avoid). She'll be pretty fatigued and probably still feeling very sick so we'll be spending it at her parents' house. She already said no gifts and I fully agree. Our gift to ourselves is a trip to Hawaii when all this crap is over assuming I can come up with the funds
I'm thinking that all we can (and should) do is simply spend time together. I just gave her a love note last week for a special occasion so that's a no-go too! Any thoughts or advice? Anyone ever been in a similar situation?
I would suggest you go to a store like Bath and Body works and get some lotion meant for the feet, then give her an hour long foot massage
It won't cost a lot and will feel so good!
Sorry for what you guys are going through, stay strong.
A friend of ours at work had cancer, and we all brought in small gifts that make us happy, and why that gift made us happy. I gave her a box of special tea, and a mug. It is not about money.
I am thinking a small book she can take with her to chemo treatments, with pictures of you together, pictures of her family, maybe some beaches, places of things you want to plan to go with her when she is better.
I agree. Personal attention and some company is the best way to show someone how much you care. Your conversation could actually include some things funny to both of you and a few laughs could change the tone of the entire evening. Leave it up to her as to what you both do. Be there, be happy, and have fun. My mother had lymphoma, had 4 seperate chemo treatments and lived to be 82. She actually passed away from heart ailments. The very best of luck and happiness to you both.
It's difficult for anybody in here to give you the perfect advise since everything depends on her condition on Valentine's Day. But I agree with others that if she just want to relax or be as comfortable as possible, it would be a good idea to help her active that. So if she wants a very gentle massage while listening to music and such, just do that. You will have to figure what she wants on that moment or day.
Is it possible that she would enjoy sitting on a comfortable recliner in a room that's lighted the way she wants, a room that's is nice and comfortably warm? Will she feel like eating or drinking some nutritional food, liquid, or drink at that moment? Will she only want peace and quiet? Will she want to hear you telling her your love for her? Will she be in condition to read your love for her on a card?
As others have mentioned, pay close attention to her needs or wants, and be ready to accomplish that on a short notice.
A very hard situation, and it sounds like you are doing everything perfect already.
I would say anything that would give comfort. She may not have much of an appetite or be able to keep things down... but what about small amounts of food that would entice her... a couple high end chocolate truffles, prepare little portions of her favorite food... a kindle for during therapy... a SUPER soft cuddly blanket and down pillows... flannel or sating sheets... a pair of super comfy luxurious pajama set...
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