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She usually does rely on me to organize things on a daily basis. Bigger things she does try to keep a list and calender, but tends to stray from schedule. This is one area that we will find a test, as I am very oriented and keep to schedule, and she.... well... doesn't. Generally we are able to meet in the middle fairly well.
I guess for me, this day say 3 schedule changes leading up and I cracked, and for her, it was too much juggling without more direction and she cracked.
Sounds like she is just stressed and needed to let off some steam.
I don't think she meant anything about your relationship is fake or "pretend". Sounds like she's just anxious to be married already and have all this planning and organizing behind her.
Don't make the mistake of getting pissy about what she said in the heat of the moment.
My take is that she didn't want to go to the auto show in the first place and was just saying she did to please you- once you are married you will find out all kinds of things she 'pretended' to like that she really didn't......................sorry.........oldest trick in the book
I would regard this as a red flag. Sounds like she plans to make all the plans when you get married. Actually, it sounds more like she plans to run everything when you get married. You need to pay close attention to what you are getting into before you make a huge mistake. I speak from experience.
Any sign that she wants to change you, or thinks she needs to change you into what she thinks you should be. Beware.
I wouldn't read a ton into it (people get stressed, it happens, and it's possible that in light of the other stuff she needed to do, the auto show became pretty low priority). But I also would give heed to the fact that you are very different in terms of time management/organization, and sometimes, this causes problems for couples. Go into that with your eyes open, and be honest with yourself about how you feel about building a life with somebody who is not able to keep things organized and will count on you to do all that.
Personally, I don't juggle. I won't overbook my day, knowing that this causes me stress, and wouldn't prefer that my SO overbook my day, either. We both know this, and plan our time accordingly.
She was obviously angry with everything, upset how the day unfolded and things took so long. Kind of irritated me so I am sure I did not help the situation as much as I could.
What irritated you? That she was angry or that her chores took longer than expected?
I was engaged last year and this situation sounds terribly familiar. It's really easy to feed off of each other's discontent. The best thing to do when she's upset is to just let her work it out in her head. You getting upset in return will just make it worse.
Fiancee today was in a very rotten mood. Got to her place at about 5, had plans to go out after dinner to a local auto show, which she had previously been excited about.
However, we were supposed to go earlier in the day, but other chores of hers took longer than expected.
She was obviously angry with everything, upset how the day unfolded and things took so long. Kind of irritated me so I am sure I did not help the situation as much as I could.
During venting, she says that there was just too much planned today, and that it will be easier to plan this stuff out once we are married and under one roof (we are still living "seperately"). She also said it would because we would not be "pretending we were married."
This kind of shocked and hurt me. I am not sure why, but I did not consider us or the time we spend together to be pretending.
I have seen our relationship as growing together, learning to spend time together and about each other, and working towards incorporating our lives together.
Pretending to be married just sounds to me like faking things, or fibbing, or being untruthful.
I would never call anything I do in our relationship "pretending" and I feel like she just labeled our whole relationship lately as pretending.
I feel like I am blowing this into as bigger thing than it is, but also concerned it is an insight into not good things.
I don't think she meant what you think by the word pretending. She is well aware of the things you share.
I think she meant: why don't we get married already, what are we waiting for? are you not sure about me or what?
she also probably had PMS
because even though she may feel that way, she would probably not come right out and say it.... UNLESS she was emotionally weak, (like during pms) and just couldn't control her words...
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