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I'm confused about whether you have told your BF the things you have shared with us? For instance, he mentioned marriage and kids after 3-4 months, which to me signifies desperation or immaturity. That's even a little creepy, no matter how great a relationship might be.
You said you aren't sure you even want to be married since you did that before and it didn't work. Also that you might not want kids. Did you sit him down and explain this to him when he suggested marriage/kids?
Do you have a lot in common in general or not much?
I'm confused about whether you have told your BF the things you have shared with us? For instance, he mentioned marriage and kids after 3-4 months, which to me signifies desperation or immaturity. That's even a little creepy, no matter how great a relationship might be.
You said you aren't sure you even want to be married since you did that before and it didn't work. Also that you might not want kids. Did you sit him down and explain this to him when he suggested marriage/kids?
Do you have a lot in common in general or not much?
Confuzzled here. All in all he is a good man. He's stable, treats me well, and does right by me. He's sweet and is old fashioned in a lot of ways. These are the things that made me fall in love with him.
I guess with the pushing too soon it threw me for a loop. Ever since we moved in together I've been miserable and it's like something I can't explain. I went into a funk and couldn't put my finger on what caused it. I finally came to the conclusion that I wasn't ready to have moved this fast with him and it was making me crazy. Like someone mentioned, I've been fiercely independent all my life, including traveling solo on a moments notice.
When I told him how I felt about marriage and kids, he agreed to back off about the marriage issue. However with kids he told me I need to let him know whether I want kids or not soon as he really wants them and doesn't want to waste time if I ultimately don't want them as it's a dealbreaker. So that nags me in the back of my mind as well.
He sounds kind of co-dependent, where you seem pretty independent. That usually does not work. Especially when the co-dependent one is the guy. I have a few male friends like this and generally their women get bored because the man is not strong enough in his own skin.
The key is what do you want? If you want him to move out then that is what needs to happen. . . for both of you. You will grow to resent him if he refused to move out and you will have a difficult time respecting him as a man (that's why in the long run it's better for him as well).
This is pretty much on target. I stressed to him off the bat I can't deal with a guy I can walk all over and he admitted he had always been a doormat before me. So he does go toe to toe with me, but sometimes he doesn't know when to quit when it comes to an argument. Or he will automatically think I am upset and complaining about something when I'm not and snap at me.
*Sigh*
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