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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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I was thinking about how when it comes to sex, or if you read an article or book about sex, it's generally about how to please a woman, how to give her pleasure.etc. Only a short section, if any, is reserved on how to give the man pleasure. Maybe it's because female stimulation is so complex and mysterious, so it needs more explanation? I think there's a backlash where the focus is usually on the female side of things...notice how most of those sex experts tend to be women, even those giving advice to men about male sexuality?
Anyway I was thinking how this could be re-applied to the sphere of relationships in general. Is it the nature of relationships that men have to do all the work? The courting, the impressing, saying all the nice things...
I mean I think the whole idea of that a woman's only job is to please her man is pretty degrading, but it seems things have gone in the opposite direction, that men are only there to please or entertain women. In other words it's all about HER, her needs, her wants, her requirements. Is all this the effort required by the male?? Magazines about how to look good etc...it seems women are more interested in themselves rather than males as such, while men are actually interested in women. And then the stereotype that women mainly 'use' men for money which is odious and outdated...
Well, when you're having sex, generally both people should end up satisfied. For many years people didn't talk about sex. Sex was over once the man was done. The general wisdom was that women didn't like sex or that women were frigid. Now women are much more open about their needs and what they want in and out of bed, and that's good, because it usually benefits both partners.
IMO, there may be more written about helping women find pleasure in sex, since women as a group find it more difficult to reach orgasm compared to guys.
I woulldn't relate it to relationship as a whole, to generalize it and say that a man's role is to make sure the woman is pleased, without there being some sort of reciprication.
Relationships are between partners. Although there sometimes are gender roles (guys tend to chase girls, etc), both individuals need to be engaged, helpful, providing, and attentive to each other.
PS, in my experience, I find myself more satisfied when the woman I am with is satisfied. It makes it better all around!
Here's a secret from someone who used to work in publishing: Those articles and headlines are designed to sell magazines by making you, the buyer, feel inadequate so you feel compelled to spend your money and buy the magazine to find out the #1 tip to keep yourself from feeling inadequate.
Woman are not that complex. There are just a handful of techniques that work well (The rest is just tactile feedback, speed and tempo). There are small percentage of woman that you cant please no matter how much you read in a book. Once women are comfortable with their sexuality they respond in a similar fasion to men. Men really arent that much different even though many woman think we just want to get laid at all cost.
Here's a secret from someone who used to work in publishing: Those articles and headlines are designed to sell magazines by making you, the buyer, feel inadequate so you feel compelled to spend your money and buy the magazine to find out the #1 tip to keep yourself from feeling inadequate.
That's it!
Don't let media tell you how to live your life.
You are right. My background is in journalism also and those magazines are designed to sell....Remember Trimac, magazines are a buisness trying to generate as much profit as possible!
(Now that's not saying I don't contribute to the problem and read those women's magazines myself ).
I was thinking about how when it comes to sex, or if you read an article or book about sex, it's generally about how to please a woman, how to give her pleasure.etc. Only a short section, if any, is reserved on how to give the man pleasure. Maybe it's because female stimulation is so complex and mysterious, so it needs more explanation? I think there's a backlash where the focus is usually on the female side of things...notice how most of those sex experts tend to be women, even those giving advice to men about male sexuality?
Anyway I was thinking how this could be re-applied to the sphere of relationships in general. Is it the nature of relationships that men have to do all the work? The courting, the impressing, saying all the nice things...
I mean I think the whole idea of that a woman's only job is to please her man is pretty degrading, but it seems things have gone in the opposite direction, that men are only there to please or entertain women. In other words it's all about HER, her needs, her wants, her requirements. Is all this the effort required by the male?? Magazines about how to look good etc...it seems women are more interested in themselves rather than males as such, while men are actually interested in women. And then the stereotype that women mainly 'use' men for money which is odious and outdated...
Okay - you have no experience with sex. So you don't understand this. At all. And that's okay. But this thread is sooooooo off base. Let me ask you this - how many men do you think have trouble orgasming during sex? And women? Even if you haven't had sex - you MUST know that it's extremely rare for men to have trouble orgasming and it's extremely common for women. And only a man who is a selfish a-hole would think that a sex life is great if he's the only one that orgasms regularly.
Stop reading magazines. Stop looking for things to be upset about. Stop raging about equality.
Let me tell you something - if you take the time to try to make the right woman happy - if you romance her, if you pleasure her, if you treat her well - most likely, she will reciprocate and make your life unbelievably better. Being a generous person can make your whole life worth living. Being a stingy a-hole will leave you bitter and alone.
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It makes it better all around!
).
