Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,161,064 times
Reputation: 11862
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiderGirl
It used to be a deal breaker for me, but as I've gotten older and more experienced, it has become less important. I just ended a relationship with a man who was overweight. I was initially attracted to his personality and his wicked smart mind, and I allowed myself to "warm up" to him physically. Turns out, we had insane physical chemistry and seriously good sex! Five years ago, I'd never have said that about an overweight man. Guess I'm not as shallow as I thought I was. (And the end of the relationship was not related to weight or physical attraction, by the way.)
How much overweight? Does he ever get on top of you? Sorry if I sound cruel I'm genuinely curious.
How much overweight? Does he ever get on top of you? Sorry if I sound cruel I'm genuinely curious.
He's 5/10" and weighed probably 240-245ish. Just guessing. And yes, he was frequently on top, but he was STRONG and could support his own weight. It was never a problem. Without getting too graphic here, his belly was certainly more *there* between us, but it never really got in the way. It's all about the angles.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,161,064 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiderGirl
He's 5/10" and weighed probably 240-245ish. Just guessing. And yes, he was frequently on top, but he was STRONG and could support his own weight. It was never a problem. Without getting too graphic here, his belly was certainly more *there* between us, but it never really got in the way. It's all about the angles.
Would you date someone who was say 5'10" and 350 pounds? That would probably change things.
I met a woman who was 6'2" and 120 kilos (not sure exactly what that is in pounds) and although imposing, she didn't really look fat.
During the 21 yrs that I was single (divorced, that is), I dated a few thin, a few "pleasing plump" and a couple of pretty heavy gals. I actually preferred the "pleasingly plump" type. If I took a gal out for a nice prime rib dinner and all she wanted was a Chef Salad, THAT was AWKWARD for me! I wanted a gal that liked steak, lobster, shrimp and could EAT! I wanted a gal that could keep up with me on the dance floor (2-step/Texas Swing) and I met a few "pleasingly plump" gals that could do better than a thin gal could. Since I was a fairly thin dude, back then, being with a heavy gal was somewhat weird as well. I loved riding horses and that didn't happen with them. Some thin gals can be "high maintenance" (cost) to date as well and I sure didn't make that kind of salary!
My wife, when I met her 13 yrs ago, was right between thin and "pleasingly plump".......just right/PERFECT. She could eat and had no problem keeping up with me on the dance floor! She looked stunning in Western attire (including a cowboy hat). Today, we are both somewhat overweight (20 lbs +/-, but we are BOTH working on loosing that. Then again, we are both in our early-to-mid 60's and that old "battle of the bulge" has happened in recent years.
The question is very individualized. At what point is weight an issue? An extra 20 pounds? An extra 50 pounds? Or are we taking about severe morbid obesity? When weight interferes with activities of daily living, that is a serious health crisis. I can't see myself dating a man who is too fat for skiing, or yoga.
I have no issues with larger men, I do have issues when they are blatently overweight, and eating a big plate of fries, and a coke. At least make an effort to be healthy.
I think there is a big double standard here because if I don't show interest in a woman because she's 5'3" 220 I'm a superficial pig but if a woman won't date me because I am 5'9 that is perfectly acceptable (and it is BTW, her choice).
Yep you definitely nailed that one. I've always felt that men's dealbreakers were things things that can be changed (weight, fat, etc), and therefore are nowhere near as harsh as women's dealbreakers which can't ever be changed, namely height and ethnicity.
Ladies, you can lose weight, lose fat, get fit, people do it all the time. Does it take hard work? Sure, and you'll have to make sacrafices. I know I do. So I can't imagine being with someone who doesn't work hard and make similar sacrafices.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,161,064 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by subPrimeTime
Yep you definitely nailed that one. I've always felt that men's dealbreakers were things things that can be changed (weight, fat, etc), and therefore are nowhere near as harsh as women's dealbreakers which can't ever be changed, namely height and ethnicity.
Ladies, you can lose weight, lose fat, get fit, people do it all the time. Does it take hard work? Sure, and you'll have to make sacrafices. I know I do. So I can't imagine being with someone who doesn't work hard and make similar sacrafices.
Men might talk shallow, but they often settle for less...
Women talk up how deep they are, but they tend to be more shallow in real life...
Men might talk shallow, but they often settle for less...
Women talk up how deep they are, but they tend to be more shallow in real life...
I know, another generalisation lol.
You just keep digging deeper and deeper, don't you...
I've dated guys and been attracted to guys of all shapes and sizes. Weight was never a deal breaker for me. Neither was height.
As for the OP - stop the pity part. Nobody is going to be attracted to someone who complains about nobody is attracted to them all the time. So you're overweight. Instead of starting threads about it and saying how it doesn't matter if you lost weight because nobody liked you when you were thin - either do something about it or just accept it. It sounds like you are frustrated but instead of doing any work yourself - you just want people to tell you that nothing that you can do will make any difference. That simply isn't true. Get in shape. Lose the weight. Get a haircut. Get some new clothes. Learn how to put on make up. Get some hobbies. Get outdoors. Meet new people. Start living your life instead of complaining about it.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,161,064 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
You just keep digging deeper and deeper, don't you...
I've dated guys and been attracted to guys of all shapes and sizes. Weight was never a deal breaker for me. Neither was height.
As for the OP - stop the pity part. Nobody is going to be attracted to someone who complains about nobody is attracted to them all the time. So you're overweight. Instead of starting threads about it and saying how it doesn't matter if you lost weight because nobody liked you when you were thin - either do something about it or just accept it. It sounds like you are frustrated but instead of doing any work yourself - you just want people to tell you that nothing that you can do will make any difference. That simply isn't true. Get in shape. Lose the weight. Get a haircut. Get some new clothes. Learn how to put on make up. Get some hobbies. Get outdoors. Meet new people. Start living your life instead of complaining about it.
I think there's a bit of truth to it, though. You may an the exception...in the end people are individuals, so these are generalisations, but there's a tendency for some women to play up how un-shallow they are.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
