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Goodness, there are a lot of paranoid people here. I don't know how y'all maintain any sort of relationship if you think everyone is just waiting for the chance to set you up for a crime or stab you.
I don't like calling it a rape fantasy, it gives it too much negativity. I prefer nonconsensual fantasy. It's a safe environment in which to try out losing a little control and letting your partner be in charge completely. It doesn't have to be violent or painful and it doesn't even have to be rough. It's probably more common than you realize.
And yes, it's an area I enjoy from time to time. But like a lot of fantasies, what you imagine isn't always what it cracks up to be in real life. Like threesomes, what sounds great in theory or is fun to fantasize about often ends up being awkward and embarrassing.
Do what you feel comfortable doing while still being open to your partner's desires. And don't worry so much about the actions of two consenting adults. Not everyone who has different desires than you is crazy or out to trick you or an abuse victim. No wonder so many people complain on and on about being unable to hold a relationship.
It's not common. I would say based on my experiences, less than 5% of women have that kind of fantasy and then only half of them will ever try to do something like that with boyfriend.
I was in a long term relationship with a woman that over a period of time (not in the first few weeks) had me start taking things to the next level with her rape fantasies.
Every few weeks, we had to have "rape night" again, and towards the end of the relationship, it became more frequent - and realistic. She was a human trainwreck in every way imaginable but it started to freak me out when she had to have "rape night" and then even more when she was able to get into her role so quickly. There were a few nights that were worthy of an Academy Award.
I think it is usually a sign of underlying issues (mainly sexual and possibly early childhood abuse).
Psychologically, it was like during those scenarios, she somehow detached from herself, and it was like she wasn't even there, and the degree and intensity of her orgasms definetely peaked during the rape fantasy stuff to the point where I don't think she was even enjoying normal sex enough in between the occasional "rape night".
I would always get a text from her letting me know when it was on. To this day, I'm convinced it looked a little weird when I was at a Home Depot after work looking at a text from her and then proceeded to buy the items I had: rope, duct tape, etc And then I had to play along with her making believe she was "sleeping" when I got home, which was actually "breaking in" to my own house.
I've been with my good lady for nearly 5 years, we've built up a bond of trust, if she asked me now to do something along these lines we'd both know where we stood.
If she'd asked me after 3 weeks, I'd still have been running.
This isn't a threesome, or some BDSM, or something just a little risque.
This could go horribly wrong.
What if he goes into the hotel room and it isn't her, but he rapes her anyway thinking it is ?
Goodness, there are a lot of paranoid people here. I don't know how y'all maintain any sort of relationship if you think everyone is just waiting for the chance to set you up for a crime or stab you.
Goodness, there are a lot of paranoid people here. I don't know how y'all maintain any sort of relationship if you think everyone is just waiting for the chance to set you up for a crime or stab you.
Mod cut: Off topic.
3-weeks is too early into the relationship to be getting into anything like
the OP described. How does he know at this point she can be trusted?
Mod cut: Off topic. 3-weeks is too early into the relationship to be getting into anything like
the OP described. How does he know at this point she can be trusted?
What does that have to do with roleplaying with your boy/girlfriend? Sure there are untrustworthy people out there but this woman isn't a stranger, she's his girlfriend. It's a little fast, in my opinion, but everyone is jumping up and down like they spotted Carmen Sandiego. Just because a woman wants to act out her fantasies doesn't make her deranged or up to no good.
I almost didnt even open this thread because this is such a super controversial subject. But knowing you are one of the cool regular posters here on CD I thought I'd give it shot.
Surprisingly, I have dated a couple of women in my time who had this as a "fantasy". Didnt really work out because of my super strong feelings on this subject. As a long time martial arts instructor and bodyguard, I have worked with women who WERE raped and others to help them prevent and defend against this horrible crime which is one of the WORST crimes that can be committed.
I knew a woman who for all intents and purposes was a bit of a racist most of her life. She married a racist guy and was just shy of screaming "white power" all the time. She was raped by a couple of black guys in a pretty bad way. She went through counseling and wouldnt you know it. Came out of it (in her words) "a stronger and better person". Her husband divorced her, but what is really funny is that after that she ONLY dated black guys. She became sort of a "size queen" and would ONLY ONLY date black guys with huge you-know-whats. She ended up marrying one of the dudes she started dating and now has three kids, is a stay at home mom and councils other women who survived abusive relationships and/or rape. She says that horrible experience made her a better person.
For me, any woman who has a fantasy of being raped is crazy and not worth my time.
What does that have to do with roleplaying with your boy/girlfriend? Sure there are untrustworthy people out there but this woman isn't a stranger, she's his girlfriend. It's a little fast, in my opinion, but everyone is jumping up and down like they spotted Carmen Sandiego. Just because a woman wants to act out her fantasies doesn't make her deranged or up to no good.
It's not common. I would say based on my experiences, less than 5% of women have that kind of fantasy and then only half of them will ever try to do something like that with boyfriend.
I was in a long term relationship with a woman that over a period of time (not in the first few weeks) had me start taking things to the next level with her rape fantasies.
Every few weeks, we had to have "rape night" again, and towards the end of the relationship, it became more frequent - and realistic. She was a human trainwreck in every way imaginable but it started to freak me out when she had to have "rape night" and then even more when she was able to get into her role so quickly. There were a few nights that were worthy of an Academy Award.
I think it is usually a sign of underlying issues (mainly sexual and possibly early childhood abuse).
Psychologically, it was like during those scenarios, she somehow detached from herself, and it was like she wasn't even there, and the degree and intensity of her orgasms definetely peaked during the rape fantasy stuff to the point where I don't think she was even enjoying normal sex enough in between the occasional "rape night".
I would always get a text from her letting me know when it was on. To this day, I'm convinced it looked a little weird when I was at a Home Depot after work looking at a text from her and then proceeded to buy the items I had: rope, duct tape, etc And then I had to play along with her making believe she was "sleeping" when I got home, which was actually "breaking in" to my own house.
What's your sample size? Because dating 20 women and finding that one of them enjoys rape fantasy doesn't mean that only 5% of women enjoy that fantasy.
That chick does sound crazy, though, and you probably see it come up in other ways besides her sexual preferences. She doesn't represent every woman who enjoys nonconsensual fantasy play.
The red flag for me is she wants you to RENT A ROOM in a hotel to do this. That exposes you to possible blackmail, prosecution or anything else. I would NEVER fall for this and you shouldn't either.
I've never had a rape fantasy in my life. I'm not knocking women who do, but if they want their fantasy fulfilled, do it in your own home, where you have privacy and a modicum of protection. A hotel is too public!
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