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guys simply feel that if the woman isnt reciprocating/ being that interested, then shes likely not interested.
Quote:
Originally Posted by howdydoody342
if she is flaky/ not respondent, doesnt show enough feelings back... men move on.
Hey, if a gal is acting "flaky" or is not responding, then DEFINITELY move on. There is NO reason to assume that a gal is interested in you, if you have contacted her and left a ball in her court, as far as a response. She doesn't respond (within a reasonable time of course) then dude, she's not interested! This should be obvious.
where is the argument, debate, the logical explanation that men are hard-wired to be the chasers, pursuers, that we are naturally born hunters? obviously a lot men do not enjoy the chase, me being one of them
Each situation is different but a little common sense will tell you. I'll invoke occam's razor which states that, all things being equal, the simplest explanation is the correct one. If a woman doesn't return your calls she's rejecting you. If she never calls you and you always have to call her first, she's not interested. But let's assume the girl really does like you and is playing games by feigning disinterest, do you really want a person who is that silly and immature?
I feel that people who have a hard line view that it is this or that gender's job to do anything is dealing with antiquated gender roles that are harmful to society in the long run and are not in line with the way this society is headed. I am expecting future relationships between men and women to become 50/50 due to more enlightened parenting (I believe in nurture way more than nature) and by economic necessity.
That being said, I do realize why women have real problems asking men out on dates, and I have accepted that if I want to date, I am probably going to have to initiate in most cases as a man. This part of dating is slow to change. Besides, someone has to break the ice anyway.
However........
Normally I dislike online dating advice columns, but one middle aged woman offered a great idea to women of all ages who are really uncomfortable with asking a guy out on a date or indicating to a man that they are interested in him. Just simply write your name on a piece of paper with your telephone number on it and say to the man, "give me a call some time, I would really, really love to spend some time with you and get to know you more." Nothing else. Get out of there.
The reason why I like this approach is that I am an introverted guy who is normally shy around women I like. But I warm up easily. Also, like some other men, I don't have a clue when a woman is interested in me. In truth, I probably do, but insecurity and other things are blocking the messages. But what I dig about the telephone idea is that is shows me that the woman is definitely, 100% interested in me. No girl gives up info like that and says that kind of thing unless she sees you as dating material. So it takes a significant amount of the anxiety away from the guy.
This is an important thing. I don't want to sound like I am bragging about myself, but there are lot of introverted men in this culture (please do not confuse being an introvert with shyness - they're different) who make for fantastic relationship partners for women. Introverted people prefer to have few friends and one partner, and for those relationships to be emotionally close. However, they also prefer a lot of "me" time. They are not stage 5 clingers. But they are also men that women can really get emotionally close to more that society thinks. Unfortunately, the information doesn't get out because introverted men have such a hard time at the beginning stages of dating.
It gets much better as time moves along and the guy opens up more.
However, the idea of the woman handing over the phone number and saying "call me some time" puts the ball in the guy's court. This is the area where I 100% believe that if a healthy minded introverted man is interested in a girl, he will call. He's been given the okay. If he's not interested, he won't. It's that simple. Don't initiate contact with the man before the date. Don't text, don't email, don't call. Let him suggest the date idea, and don't be put off if it's something casual at first. You may want to extend this out to a date or two (let him choose the date - let him initiate calls, texts, etc.) and then things can start to be more equal.
I am not saying that I PREFER this method. The two best dating situations I have ever been in have involved women who have straight out asked me out. But they were also girls who knew me awhile, and who knew I was introverted. They were also very emotionally mature women who didn't freak out if I didn't text every five minutes. I never felt threatened about the women coming on to me, and for gosh sakes, I didn't stereotype them as needy. If you want to ask a guy out, by all means do so!
But I am just suggesting an idea for women who have real issues with initiating dating interest with a man. Handing over a number and simply saying "call me sometime" really does seem to cut out some of the problems.
Last edited by greenbook; 06-20-2018 at 01:08 PM..
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