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Hey, i have a girlfriend for about 3 months, a little less. And i really like her, i might even love her a bit. (Lately, she has been a bit distant because of something that happened in our lives)
Now, yesterday she went out with her girlfriends and i was at home with friends.
Suddenly i got this message saying; I'm hearing things about you, they really make me doubt about us. So i immediatly asked what people said about me but she didn't respond. So i got up put on my clothes and went to the club she was at. A few friends of mine were there also and they told me she just left with her girlfriend. So i kept sending her messages and she still didn't respond. I was going crazy so i sent to her that if she didn't respond that i wouldn't send her back. Then she responded that she doesn't know what to think or do.. I asked her if i could speak to her in person but she was already at home with her girlfriend. So i told her that if she believed the rumours and didn't give me a chance to talk she didn't loved me. Then she answered that if it was me who heard that specific rumour (probably that i am a player, which i was a long time ago) i would be mad too. I told her that i loved her and that i just knew she was the one for me, i also asked her to not make any decisions before i had a talk with her.
Now it's morning and i sent a little message asking if she could text me whenever she got up (It's 1 PM) and she still hasn't responded.
Please help me.. I'm going NUTS. I really don't want to lose her and i feel so bad.
You have made a number of poor life decisions and that is being borne out in how you conduct yourself. Real men don't hold verbal threats over women: ("So i told her that if she believed the rumours and didn't give me a chance to talk she didn't loved me"). Real men aren't players. And committed men don't love a bit, they love wholly, and this is fully acknowledged by the women they are with, who would come to you first with concerns, not accusations for the end of a relationship.
You are young and you will learn. A first sign of maturity can be letting go. You won't make these mistakes again and you may even become more forthcoming when a new relationship starts, so these rumors don't kneecap your interests in love. Or invest in doing things with your life that will over-ride any rumors that are out there. Counter-balance bad for good. Best of luck champ.
.... So i told her that if she believed the rumours and didn't give me a chance to talk she didn't loved me. .....
You got it right.
Either she is just tossing a match into a can of gas because she likes the drama, (maybe she wants to see you beg?), or she is so insecure about your relationship that she is looking for any excuse to question it, or end it.
(Or, she is 14 and not mature enough to have an adult relationship).
However, your responses (all the texting) may have been seen as someone who was guilty, trying to cover up. You should have just texted once, "How can I respond, when I don't even know what was claimed. If you care, then lets get together someplace quiet and talk."
You have made a number of poor life decisions and that is being borne out in how you conduct yourself. Real men don't hold verbal threats over women: ("So i told her that if she believed the rumours and didn't give me a chance to talk she didn't loved me"). Real men aren't players. And committed men don't love a bit, they love wholly, and this is fully acknowledged by the women they are with, who would come to you first with concerns, not accusations for the end of a relationship.
You are young and you will learn. A first sign of maturity can be letting go. You won't make these mistakes again and you may even become more forthcoming when a new relationship starts, so these rumors don't kneecap your interests in love. Or invest in doing things with your life that will over-ride any rumors that are out there. Counter-balance bad for good. Best of luck champ.
A few of the posters here are being overly harsh in my opinion. Both the OP and has girlfriend are quite young--and have the typical communication problems and drama associated with youth.
Your girlfriend was wrong to act on a rumor without giving you the chance to discuss it with her, and you were wrong to overreact the way you did. You clearly have feelings for her that I don't want to trivialize, but at your age you do not need to take life quite so seriously. If your girlfriend wants to move on based upon what she heard, that is her decision. Perhaps the next time you date someone, you can address the issue up front, so that if the person hears about an event from another perspective you at least have your side in.
A few of the posters here are being overly harsh in my opinion. Both the OP and has girlfriend are quite young--and have the typical communication problems and drama associated with youth.
20 is WAY too old to still be indulging her need for drama. I would expect this from much younger people.
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