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Basically, it is okay for girls to get validation from guys but not the other way around. We guys have to find ways to be comfortable, content, and be in love with our own life, we have to get our validation from life, and have things we are up to in our life be validating us. Success with women, girls and success in life are similiar. Just as girls, women won't go out of their way to bring guys dating, relationship, love success, or sexual success, life does not go out if it's way to bringing anyone life success. Just as a guy's love life, dating and relationship life is his chore, burden, responsibility, to make it the way he wants it, a person's life as a whole is their responsibility to make it the way they want it. If we guys want to be successful with girls, women, it makes sense for us to have long-term goals for our lives that inspire us and that we are moving toward, no matter how slowly. If we guys do this, we'll get our validation from life rather than girls, women.
For example, let's say there is a guy who is a Video-Game Designer for a Large Company, it was easy for him to allow his life to get into a rut. Day after Day he'd go to work, design, program, come home, watch TV, and go to Bed. He had no goals, no direction. He became passive with his life and, not surprisingly, with women, girls. He blamed his company for his lack of employment of his job, and blamed women for his lack of a love, relationship, dating, sex life. His future looked like it would be just his past. He looked to women for validation in his life, because he couldn't find it anywhere else, and when they didn't validate him, he became depressed. Thus the cycle got worse: The more depressed he became, the more he wanted women to make him feel validated, and predictably, the less attractive he became. The less attractive he became, the fewer women validated him and the more depresed he got.
This was the state he was in when he came into when he was seeking advice, complaining about his lack of success with girls, women. The advice he was given was that he has to set goals for his life. He was told he had to go to a local bookstore and get a book on goal-setting, and got him to really look at what he wanted his life to be like in 10 years, five years, one year. He also was told to write down goals that inspired him, and to put them into his date book where he'd see them often. As he began to get excited about what was possible for him in his life, the cycle began to break apart. He started getting his validation from his life, rather than girls, women.
This made him more attractive to women. Rather than wanting to have a girlfriend so he could have a life, he began having a life that validated him, whether girls, women were in it or not. Naturally, women, girls, were intrigued by his passion for his life, and wanted to be a part of it. He also had to make more male friends, guys have to be extroverts, if they have little or no friends, they are screwed, if a girl is that way, introverted, she won't be screwed.
Because his male friendships were able to validate him without putting down his sexuality or showing him that he was undesirable. He found he could get a kind of support from men, guys, he could never get from women he desired who insisted on being just "friends". This validated him and made women's, girl's reactions to his approach less disturbing.
Women, girls are attracted to guys, men who have passion and fire for their lives. They aren't any more interested in prodiving guys, men, the validation for their lives than you are for theirs(that I disagree with, most guys, men, don't care, we are proud to make women, girls feel happy). When a guy, man has goals, male friends, and a life that inspires him, he'll be validated by what he is up to, and women, girls will want to be a part of his life.
If a guy's life is lonely and meaningless, that makes a guy look desperate, needy, clingy, insecure. A guy has to have something he is into, that gives his life meaning, above and beyond dating, relationships, love, sex. If a guy is trying to get meaning for his life out of interactions with girls, women, they will always notice it and reject him instantly, be repulsed by it. Guys too, won't respect that guy.
I understand, already know why girls, women are attracted to rich guys, because subconsciously, women, girls, want a provider for her and her potentially future kids, i don't blame them for that, but girls, women, are attracted to guys, men who are successful in life and many of these guys, men, are not rich themselves, don't have money.
Here it is, girls, women, are attracted to, like successful guys. It is true they are attracted to money but that is not the whole story. They are attracted to guys who are passionate about their lives and have fire and drive. Some of these guys have money, some of them don't. Money is less important than being a dynamic guy, man, tackling his life head-on. We've all seen the garage-band guitarists who are able to get dates and girlfriends, hook-ups, sex easily, eventhough they never play anywhere except but in local bars. Their passion for something in their lives makes both these kinds of guys, the guys with money and the guitarists, more attractive to girls, women.
Along with passion, women, girls are very attracted to guys who have deep social connections. In essense, girls are attracted to guys who have social-status, which means a guy has plenty of friends, both guys and girls, is very outgoing, is frequently participating in social activities and is involved in several different social-circles.
See all the work we guys have to do?
Girls, Women, don't have to do this, if they are hot, cute, pretty, good-looking, they don't need to have things going for them in order to attract guys, men.
Okay, well...you wrote a book, based on your opinion, the way you see things. Guess what? It's an opinion. It's YOUR opinion. It's an opinion, based on a MAN'S perspective. It's very wrong, but clearly, it's your view of how things are for women. It's nice to know just how little you actually value women, btw. You know, I feel sorry for so many men...having to deal with people of their own gender, making them look like complete and total morons. Let me get this straight. Men are so incredibly shallow and stupid, that all a woman has to do is be "hot, cute, pretty, good-looking"...they don't actually have to have anything going for them....for all men to be attracted to them. Are you saying that men aren't remotely interested in brains and/or personality? I totally disagree with you there. I mean, they might be attracted to them, want to shag them, but stick with them? .... not many, not for long!
Perhaps you aren't aware of something else here, as well.... If a guy is drop freakin' dead HOT....smooookin' gorgeous, well proportioned, great teeth, great a$$.... well, newsflash buddy, WE'RE attracted. We LOOK buddy, believe me, we can appreciate male purrrrty-ness. Does that mean we're going to abandon all brains, logic and morals and make fools out of ourselves over him? leave our current mates, just cuz he's smokin' hot to LOOK at? Yeah, not likely. There better be some intelligence and decency in there too. Just because someone's attractive to look at, it doesn't mean that they're worth being with.
Okay, well...you wrote a book, based on your opinion, the way you see things. Guess what? It's an opinion. It's YOUR opinion. It's an opinion, based on a MAN'S perspective. It's very wrong, but clearly, it's your view of how things are for women.
Okay, well...you wrote a book, based on your opinion, the way you see things. Guess what? It's an opinion. It's YOUR opinion. It's an opinion, based on a MAN'S perspective. It's very wrong, but clearly, it's your view of how things are for women. It's nice to know just how little you actually value women, btw. You know, I feel sorry for so many men...having to deal with people of their own gender, making them look like complete and total morons. Let me get this straight. Men are so incredibly shallow and stupid, that all a woman has to do is be "hot, cute, pretty, good-looking"...they don't actually have to have anything going for them....for all men to be attracted to them. Are you saying that men aren't remotely interested in brains and/or personality? I totally disagree with you there. I mean, they might be attracted to them, want to shag them, but stick with them? .... not many, not for long!
Perhaps you aren't aware of something else here, as well.... If a guy is drop freakin' dead HOT....smooookin' gorgeous, well proportioned, great teeth, great a$$.... well, newsflash buddy, WE'RE attracted. We LOOK buddy, believe me, we can appreciate male purrrrty-ness. Does that mean we're going to abandon all brains, logic and morals and make fools out of ourselves over him? leave our current mates, just cuz he's smokin' hot to LOOK at? Yeah, not likely. There better be some intelligence and decency in there too. Just because someone's attractive to look at, it doesn't mean that they're worth being with.
a lot of men are dating women, have been in a relationship with them for a very long time, for more than a year and the men initially got attracted to them by their looks, appearence
a lot of men are dating women, have been in a relationship with them for a very long time, for more than a year and the men initially got attracted to them by their looks, appearence
Who cares? Do you really think that physical attraction isn't one of the first things that draw most women to men? Your posts make it perfectly clear that you really don't understand women OR good men. However, they do make it pretty clear the kind of people you do spend your time with.
Girls, Women, don't have to do this, if they are hot, cute, pretty, good-looking, they don't need to have things going for them in order to attract guys, men.
That's case for some men, specific kinds of guys. It's not the case for all guys. I know this because I've dated plenty of men in my time who would not settle. They didn't want just pretty. They wanted pretty and X, Y, Z traits.
a lot of men are dating women, have been in a relationship with them for a very long time, for more than a year and the men initially got attracted to them by their looks, appearence
That's exactly how women are initially attracted to men, via looks. That's how it is for everyone. It's not as if people have telepathy and can know personality, education, interests, etc initially.
That's exactly how women are initially attracted to men, via looks. That's how it is for everyone. It's not as if people have telepathy and can know personality, education, interests, etc initially.
yeah but a woman can be initially attracted to a man because of his looks, but if he is boring, has no life, has no confidence, the woman will reject him, when a man see's a hot, beautiful, attractive woman, the decision to be attracted to her is likely to stay that way
yeah but a woman can be initially attracted to a man because of his looks, but if he is boring, has no life, has no confidence, the woman will reject him, when a man see's a hot, beautiful, attractive woman, the decision to be attracted to her is likely to stay that way
Sadly, yes.....there are ignorant, weak-minded people in both genders. Your tale puts me in mind of a few city folk, who own gas guzzling, lifted, 4WD, tricked out trucks to drive back and forth to work, yet never leave the highway...just cuz they look cool.
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