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Its a rough line... how much do u trust ur partner to be along or hang out with the opposite sex? Im not gonna lie, i've had a few girls tell me that their bf's dont trust them hanging out with me even on a complete friend level. i respect that but also know that girls can develope crushes even while being with their partner
I have many friends of the opposite sex. If seriously dating or married, my S.O. is welcome to meet them and come along if we get together. If an S.O. still had a problem with that, they would soon be an ex and lose the privilege of being an opposite sex friend as well. It's also fine for my S.O. to have opposite sex friends under the same conditions.
My thoughts are that no one can tell you who you are "allowed" to see, and who you're not.
That being said, I'm personally not comfortable dating men who have a lot of female friends. I don't have close male friends, either. It's a personal preference.
I am not attached right now, But have 2 female friends that I occasionally have lunch and lunch only with no sleepovers, Walks on the beach or vacations. Just lunch and some talk on the phone. One I know over 10 years, And another close to 5. The one I know longer is married and the husband has no problem at all. Why? because it's well established i am not a threat. I think in some cases where there is a long term friendship with no history or concern then it is a bit different. now, if i was attached and went to hang out with some girl I met on the subway to have a "friendly" drink then that is out of line. And vice versa. trust is important, yes. But the latter compromises that trust when one is in a serious relationship? it just does. And the line "You don't trust me loses much of it's meaning." Again, A fine line. I am not and never will go off to Hawaii for Pina Coladas with them.
I might add that if i get serious with someone she will be sure to meet both my female friends in person. No B.S., no drama as i will be upfront with everything. I expect the same.
I've been looking on the Relationship forums for a while and i keep seeing this.
People that aren't allowed to see or get grief for seeing their opposite sex freinds from their new partners.
Why? If your in a relationship shouldn't it be based on trust? If you don't trust them to see their freinds don't have a relationship with them.
If your in a relationship and your partner doesn't want you to see your freinds then they don't trust you so end it.
It's a relationship, you haven't suddenly become 7yrs old and need to let your Mum choose your freinds.
What are your thoughts and why do people put up with it?
Why?..probably because the partner is feeling left out, and wonders why?....I don't think the trust issue would even come into the picture if the one partner would just respect the other one by first: respecting that they are in an exclusive relationship, and 2: asking their partner to come with them.....If that respect is not shown, then all I can say is goodluck maintaining any kind of a long term relationship with one person.
sorry to say but male have female friends that the wife is not allowed to know and hang out with also, okay that's a problem and likely someone he is cheating with. that's how I see it.
Opposite sex "friends" always has the potential to turn into something more given the right conditions.
I call BS. I have a few guy friends that there is no way in hell ANYTHING would ever happen. We are just not each other's types, not to mention it would be really weird since they are like brothers to me and vice versa.
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain
Whoever told me that would be told to go pound sand
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aganusn
Some people have no self esteem and feel the need to try to control people. It's sad.
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it can be shaky ground...
that's how I see it.
