Women: ever been in an abusive relationship?

[bobman]

Have a read of this.
Domestic Violence| Why Does She Stay?

It's an extremely complicated situation, and if it really isn't as easy as just kicking someone in the balls.

Originally Posted by Ulysses61

I've never understood why anyone of either sex stays in a relationship if there is any physical abuse. The moment any man even attempted to strike me, I would kick him as hard as I could in the balls and walk out of there, never to return.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by bobman

Have a read of this.
Domestic Violence| Why Does She Stay?

It's an extremely complicated situation, and if it really isn't as easy as just kicking someone in the balls.

Good article. There is a point in there that's very real--many women do not leave because if they leave, they might get killed. And some of them do get killed. A restraining order is just a joke to some of the worst abusers.

Or, just as horribly, the abuser kills their child in revenge for being thrown out. That has happened a couple of times in my state in the past few years.

Another thing I would add to the "Shame" section is the shame of feeling as though you failed at the marriage. The abused person often feels as if they "should" have been able to fix everything, as if they should have been able to change the abuser and make him happy, as if they should be able to fix the marriage.

[hatgirl007]

I have never been in an abusive relationship. I recognize signs of potential abusers very early: isolation, critical words, put downs, or controlling behavior (such as wanting you to report your every move). I once worked with someone on a domestic violence initiative and took this opportunity to ask my mom why she never talked to me about domestic violence too much. She taught me the power of destructive words, warned against not loosing respect for one another by using hurtful words when arguing, and other concepts. The most powerful thing she told me is that she knows I would not allow anyone to abuse me. She's right. It's never been an issue for me. I've dated some people in the past who showed that behavior and I quickly ended that interaction because I knew their presentation was unhealthy....no physical blows or destructive words said.

[KatieCountrycm]

the reason some women stay is because they think their man will change or its the stockholm syndrome effect

[virgode]

Originally Posted by KatieCountrycm

the reason some women stay is because they think their man will change or its the stockholm syndrome effect

Many of them are codependent and think they can change him/her. And constantly examine and change what they do hoping it will change them.