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I can't believe this is up to 19 pages. The OP was VENTING. Geez.
Venting is fine, but as the nuns back in high school used to say, a slip of the lip is one thing, but writing involves intention.
The OP wasn't a one-liner fired off the cuff. It was a screed, and screeds show insight into how the person thinks. Yes, she said she knows what to say and what not to say in public, but the first post in this thread is how she feels. I don't care what anyone says: Unless you're an award-winning actress, that kind of snottiness will eventually come out in the flesh, either in conversation or body language. People can and will detect it, and the only way to truly avoid coming off like a snob is to not be one in the first place--and that requires a change of perspective from within. I know, because I've been there.
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Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
You are right. I'm definitely a homebody, an introvert, and not very sociable at all. I've been like this all my life though, so it would take too much effort for me to change.
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Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
True. Sometimes I really do wish I could be more sociable and I know if I choose not to be then I am cutting myself off from a lot of opportunities. I like to think that the right person for me is out there and I shouldn't have to drastically change my lifestyle to find him, but it's very possible that he doesn't use online dating sites and our paths may never cross. So that would be a problem...
Now that you've been raked over the coals, here's some practical advice from a fellow introvert: Get off the dating sites entirely. Focus on what you like to do, and meet people more naturally, even if you meet them online. I met my ex on a hockey BBS, and my current through a bird group. I didn't use those things as a way of meeting men, but it did expand my social circle a lot. I still have two very good girlfriends from the hockey BBS, and a good friend from the bird group in addition to the man, plus a bunch of acquaintances. Don't make men the priority. Make your interests a priority. Worst-case scenario is that you get some good information about things you enjoy and make a few friends along the way.
Also, I disagree with those who say that pay sites are better. I ran into just as many jerks on paid services like Match and what was then Yahoo Personals as I did on none other than MySpace, which was quite the free-for-all 6 or 7 years ago. Indeed, sometimes it was worse, because I had Yahoo Messenger and if my profile said I was online, I'd get bombarded with IMs, often from people whose profiles said no more than that they were male and single or divorced. I wish I still had the screenie of the night I had 16 conversations going at once, some genuine, some that I steered specifically to create blog fodder because the person IMing me made it obvious he was either married or just out for a good time, and if you're a deceitful lout who treats me like an object, I'll treat you as a means of increasing my web traffic. (Dang, if only I had jumped on AdSense when it was new. Oh, the residuals I could be rolling in now!)
Point is, why pay for that which you can get for free?
Hope that works out for you but lose that Beyonce attitudes, at 40 believe me this guy will haul ass quick.
Does Beyonce have an attitude? I'm not even a fan of Beyonce. Why exactly is Beyonce being brought up right now?
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Originally Posted by Thehouse
post your picture so we can see what you look like.
Why do you need to know what I look like? I think that I am attractive. Pretty enough to attract men, but by no means the hottest woman out there. I'm aware of that and never claimed to be. Nor did I ever say that I only date studs.
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Originally Posted by stick2dascript
What does the OP bring to the table? Don't tell? Read 40k a year, you better make some money lol
I make way more than 40K, but I have in the past and would be willing to date a man who makes less than me.
Does Beyonce have an attitude? I'm not even a fan of Beyonce. Why exactly is Beyonce being brought up right now?
Why do you need to know what I look like? I think that I am attractive. Pretty enough to attract men, but by no means the hottest woman out there. I'm aware of that and never claimed to be. Nor did I ever say that I only date studs.
I make way more than 40K, but I have in the past and would be willing to date a man who makes less than me.
People are just trying to get a sense of who you are and why it has been so difficult for you to meet men. I'd be interested in seeing the picture too.
Your income shouldn't make that much of a difference, but if you're setting your sights high, it's good to be close if only to make it seem to the intended target that you are not a gold digger or a mooch.
Does Beyonce have an attitude? I'm not even a fan of Beyonce. Why exactly is Beyonce being brought up right now?
Why do you need to know what I look like? I think that I am attractive. Pretty enough to attract men, but by no means the hottest woman out there. I'm aware of that and never claimed to be. Nor did I ever say that I only date studs.
I make way more than 40K, but I have in the past and would be willing to date a man who makes less than me.
Well, I'M curious to know what you look like.
I think you need a man like me to knock you down a notch or two off that pedestal.
Maybe we could go out on a date and eventually get to that base where I can give you some good loving. I don't want any relationship however, Just want to put a smile on your face.
OP needs to come to the DC area, she'll find plenty of dudes who meet her high-maintenance criteria easily. A great place to work 70-80 hrs./week, rake in a six or seven figure salary, buy a mansion, fill it up with loads of crap, and have no time to enjoy it. Yeah, a good place to be a 'winner'.
Now, if you'll excuse me... I'll go back to my 'boring' $52k/year job and later on I'll go home to my 'boring' two bdrm place in the burbs in my Malibu and contemplate life as a single well-read, educated, adventurous, and multilingual 'loser'.
People are just trying to get a sense of who you are and why it has been so difficult for you to meet men. I'd be interested in seeing the picture too.
Haha, well I will just say that I don't believe it's a problem with my looks. I would say it's a combination of the fact that I've never been very sociable and I rarely meet guys who I'm interested in.
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Your income shouldn't make that much of a difference, but if you're setting your sights high, it's good to be close if only to make it seem to the intended target that you are not a gold digger or a mooch.
I never put income requirements in my profile and don't plan to do that anytime soon.
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Originally Posted by Thehouse
Well, I'M curious to know what you look like.
I think you need a man like me to knock you down a notch or two off that pedestal.
I don't think I'm on a pedestal at all. I think I'm looking for very basic qualities here. Though I am flexible, my target population is never married men, ages 27-32. I don't think it's hard to have earned a degree and not have had any children if you fall within that group.
Someone explain to me how exactly the OP's outlook is any different then the hundreds of threads started by men on here stating how they wont date a single mom, anyone even slightly overweight or unattractive? Just flipped to apply to men.
You are right. I'm definitely a homebody, an introvert, and not very sociable at all. I've been like this all my life though, so it would take too much effort for me to change.
There are millions of people who came before you, in a time before the internet and online dating existed, and they found partners/spouses. Maybe get some advice from older generations as to how they put themselves out there to meet someone. This online thing is not working for you.
Haha, well I will just say that I don't believe it's a problem with my looks. I would say it's a combination of the fact that I've never been very sociable and I rarely meet guys who I'm interested in.
I never put income requirements in my profile and don't plan to do that anytime soon.
I don't think I'm on a pedestal at all. I think I'm looking for very basic qualities here. Though I am flexible, my target population is never married men, ages 27-32. I don't think it's hard to have earned a degree and not have had any children if you fall within that group.
1) There is a serious conflict of interest - you supposably have the "looks" yet refuse to properly use your assets to your advantage because you prefer to hibernate at home in front of a screen. The conflict comes into play when you say you "rarely meet guys you are interested in". How are you supposed/can meet guys if you spend your time in front of a box? Hmmm....
2) Your second biggest problem is the target age group - you should be open to expanding that target base how about 25-35 - the pool will become that much larger from which you can choose from. BTW, not many 27-30 year olds are looking to settle down these days, usually it's the 34 and older crowd who are more serious about what they want.
3) BTW, a man or boy can usually start having kids anytime after age 13, no college degree necessary, just a little bit of dexterity.
You mind sharing with us, where on the East Coast are you? I might be able to point youi to some physical places where you can meet your target base.
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