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I'm assuming that the poster you quoted is using the word "slave" as a figure of speech.
My own marriage was terribly lopsided in his favor. We both worked 40 hours a week, but I was expected to pick up, clean up, cook, organize, entertain and do all of the domestic grunt work while he relaxed and read his damned "Economist."
Another LT S.O. DID expect me to do all of these things, but also cook gourmet cuisine for him every night, be his personal shopper and take care of everything around the house that went wrong (e.g., the A/C, car troubles, etc.) It was like living with a helpless, spoiled child. When I finally met a guy who does things 50-50, I almost didn't know how to deal with it.
So I can sort of relate, although I probably wouldn't refer to myself as a "slave." I mean, I did have a choice in the matter. Which is precisely why I made the choice to L-E-A-V-E.
I'm sorry about your marriage, and I realize what you're saying. That's why I didn't get upset, and made it perfectly clear that I was sure she meant nothing by it. But your analogy, of living with a child, is more appropriate. It's been 147 years, since slavery was made illegal everywhere in the U.S., and many people still feel the effects of it. That's something a bad marriage will never accomplish. It simply pales in comparison. I hope you understand. And, I thank you for your post.
You also sound like a sexist, the way you talk about women and little bit immature.
If you want to end up all alone, I guess that's your decision though I feel bad for you. Most people I know who never married or had children aren't very happy. You certainly wouldn't regret marrying someone you love and having children though. If you were to have children later on in life, you'll be almost 60 by the time your kid graduates high school.
You also sound like a sexist, the way you talk about women.
If you want to end up all alone, I guess that's your decision though I feel bad for you. Most people I know who never married or had children aren't very happy. You certainly wouldn't regret marrying someone you love and having children though.
I don't know who you are addressing, but this is not applicable to all.
It's very, very common in metro areas like LA, Bay Area, NY and Boston, at the very least. Many are doing grad school or trying to launch careers in a highly competitive area.
Since you are in Key West FL, I wonder how the quest for a mate goes in a small, touristy and permissive area? The Keys are beautiful, but I wonder what living there day in and day out would be like.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman
30 and single?! You should be married by now.
You also sound like a sexist, the way you talk about women and little bit immature.
If you want to end up all alone, I guess that's your decision though I feel bad for you. Most people I know who never married or had children aren't very happy. You certainly wouldn't regret marrying someone you love and having children though. If you were to have children later on in life, you'll be almost 60 by the time your kid graduates high school.
What do you mean should be married by now? There is no maximum age by marriage requirement law in any state I know of.
Okay just b/c prefers singleness, means they are sexist? Real tolerant buddy.
Maybe in Key West they aren't but I know folk in Louisville and DC who have taken this path are happy.
You also sound like a sexist, the way you talk about women and little bit immature.
If you want to end up all alone, I guess that's your decision though I feel bad for you. Most people I know who never married or had children aren't very happy. You certainly wouldn't regret marrying someone you love and having children though. If you were to have children later on in life, you'll be almost 60 by the time your kid graduates high school.
I'm assuming that the poster you quoted is using the word "slave" as a figure of speech.
My own marriage was terribly lopsided in his favor. We both worked 40 hours a week, but I was expected to pick up, clean up, cook, organize, entertain and do all of the domestic grunt work while he relaxed and read his damned "Economist."
Another LT S.O. DID expect me to do all of these things, but also cook gourmet cuisine for him every night, be his personal shopper and take care of everything around the house that went wrong (e.g., the A/C, car troubles, etc.) It was like living with a helpless, spoiled child. When I finally met a guy who does things 50-50, I almost didn't know how to deal with it.
So I can sort of relate, although I probably wouldn't refer to myself as a "slave." I mean, I did have a choice in the matter. Which is precisely why I made the choice to L-E-A-V-E.
Jesus. There's always stories like this that make me feel better about myself. All I'd want a SO to do is to live her life, with mine. Hell, I'd do all the house chores, cooking, whatever simply because that's what I've been doing by myself for years. That would be nothing new.
It's a shame hearing about so many people taking relationships for granted.
That being said, I'm single and generally happy. Although I also would like to find a meaningful relationship sometime in the future.
Jesus. There's always stories like this that make me feel better about myself. All I'd want a SO to do is to live her life, with mine. Hell, I'd do all the house chores, cooking, whatever simply because that's what I've been doing by myself for years. That would be nothing new.
It's a shame hearing about so many people taking relationships for granted.
I'm not sure if it's taking someone for granted, per se. These men obviously had to take care of themselves before I came along. But they also had very patriarchal notions, namely that women should be in a servile role at home and tend to all of the domestic duties. I would have gladly done all of these things if I didn't work. Oops, I mean if I didn't have a job. OOPS! I mean, if I didn't go to an office every day for eight hours so I could bring home a paycheck every two weeks.
Sorry. The Hilary Rosen/Ann Romney kerfuffle obviously got to me!
I don't get it. A relationship has never stopped me from education, travel, sports, volunteer work...in fact, it was even more fun cuz I had someone to enjoy all that with. No woman has told me not to buy a cool car or another gun or not to go on a camping trip with a friend or see a movie with my dad or go to Hawaii with my brother.
All I have ever gotten was the love and support to chase my dreams and all I have had to do was offer the same back.
I don't get what kind of weird relationships you people have.
Your right.
If whatever relationship your in & your SO stops you from being happy and/or doing what you like then there is a HUGE problem some where.
I'm not sure if it's taking someone for granted, per se. These men obviously had to take care of themselves before I came along. But they also had very patriarchal notions, namely that women should be in a servile role at home and tend to all of the domestic duties. I would have gladly done all of these things if I didn't work. Oops, I mean if I didn't have a job. OOPS! I mean, if I didn't go to an office every day for eight hours so I could bring home a paycheck every two weeks.
Sorry. The Hilary Rosen/Ann Romney kerfuffle obviously got to me!
Oh, it's definitely taking them for granted, imo. If they did take care of themselves before, why would they throw all household responsibilities on the woman knowing that she also works?
It's not as bad if you're a stay at home wife, but even then I wouldn't expect anyone to do 100% of household work.
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