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Alot of people have this wrong. Love between mother and child is unconditional. Love between husband and wife is always conditional. He treats you like crap and cheats and does drugs, and love will fade. Love is based on conditions, mutual respect, trust, etc. Just my take on it.
That is actually true. I am not sure where people got the idea that romantic love was to be unconditional and I'm thinking it was from users and abusers. Between mother/father and children, there is a learning/teaching thing going on and room for disappointment/error. Between a couple, that is different since that relationship is built on love, trust and respect. I cannot see how you can continue to love someone that has betrayed your trust and has no respect for you.
If someone expects you to love them "unconditionally", run for your life! In a relationship built on "give and take", you'll end up with "give, give, give" until you are drained and without any self-respect.
That is actually true. I am not sure where people got the idea that romantic love was to be unconditional and I'm thinking it was from users and abusers. Between mother/father and children, there is a learning/teaching thing going on and room for disappointment/error. Between a couple, that is different since that relationship is built on love, trust and respect. I cannot see how you can continue to love someone that has betrayed your trust and has no respect for you.
If someone expects you to love them "unconditionally", run for your life! In a relationship built on "give and take", you'll end up with "give, give, give" until you are drained and without any self-respect.
Taking abuse isn't unconditional love. See my posts earlier in this thread about that.
It's like an addiction. Love when it is old and strong over powers even betrayal - and in a sense it is un-conditional...My semi-estranged wife was disloyal ----I also betrayed her. After all is said and done..we understand that us humans are not perfect and make mistakes due to circumstance. I still love her even if she was a jerk...and she still loves me even if I was a bully and a womanizing clown.
Are there conditions to our love? - Just one-----to be civil and kind//
The thing about love is that it is an eternal force...even those that divorce continue in their hearts to love the other...even if they can not admit to this.
The curse of love is that it is forever.
I look back on my first true love...I secretly pined for her for over 30 years....finally she left this world...I literally loved her to death.....ooops....I Could never understand why if you love someone why they do not love you?
It might just be that the other person NEVER loved you to begin with. The first deep love -some might say is the only real one...This is not always the case. Un-conditional love is earned and comes over time..30 years of wishing for someone to come back was a waste of life...BECAUSE there was a condition regarding the first...She was extremely rich and I was poor....I could never catch up and fulfill that condition.
The love that I feel for my son is unconditional. I don't care if he grows up to be a mass murderer (well, I do care and hope with all my being that he doesn't!!!) - I will ALWAYS love him.The love that my husband and I feel for each other is conditional in the sense that it is unconditional as long as both of us are committed to it being unconditional. I'm not sure if that makes sense - but what I mean is that I love him for who he is and how he treats me. He would never hit me, cheat on me, abuse me, etc. If he were to do that - I don't know what I'd feel. It's very possible that I might still love him - although I wouldn't be able to be with him. But perhaps I wouldn't love him anymore if he changed into someone that wasn't committed to loving me the way that he loves me now.
Now that I've probably made a complete mess of this post, I think I'll move on!
Right there -- the bolded part says quite succinctly what I was saying about the devotion to the unit in my own post.
Tried to rep you, but the Dark Powers insist I must spread the love.
No. Until we reach the apex there are always degrees. Only those who have found true love, the proverbial soulmates who withhold nothing, give everything. These people, this love, shared and reciprocated. This is unconditional. All else has its conditions.
In another board some guy offended me and told me that I'm obviously confusing what my parents and the big guy in the sky feel for me with what I can expect from other people who are not related to me.
And I think he was kinda right. The love I get from my parents is unconditional (because they care about me more than anyone ever will) but I don't think I can expect the same thing from strangers.
We've talked often about loving being blind and perfect but is love unconditional? Do you truly love someone no matter what? Despite the pitfalls of being in love do you keep loving someone after they cheated on you? Lied to you about something for so long? Etc. When does loving STOP being unconditional? Is such a thing even possible?
It's more common in the parent child relationship.
For partners, it's not as common, but still does exist in some cases.
There are definitely conditions under which love will exist, for me...those conditions include respect and being treated in ways that cannot be classified as abusive. I do not love people who treat me abusively or with disrespect.
There are definitely conditions under which love will exist, for me...those conditions include respect and being treated in ways that cannot be classified as abusive. I do not love people who treat me abusively or with disrespect.
I agree with this, to a degree. However, can you just stop loving someone who has turned abusive, once you already love them?
Family would be a good example. Do you stop loving your brother or sister after an unacceptable betrayal, even if you kick him/her to the curb?
A husband cheats on his wife of 20 years and leaves her. Does the wife suddenly stop loving him?
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