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I wasn't ignoring those women, yes there are some women that expect a man to pay on the first date... You're ignoring the ones that say the opposite and have been for about 10 pointless pages now.
He has an axe to grind. Dating isn't about money, it's about getting acquainted and enjoying each other's company. Money doesn't even have to be involved. Courting isn't about strange, petty power struggles.
Exactly, I'm sick of hearing about this too...because it's not the real world I know, at least where I live. Maybe it is for some of the population, but it certainly doesn't apply to everyone.
Well in Australia, like I said, most, not all, but most Australian women expect to pay their own way and don't assume or demand the man is going to pay for all their dining, entertainment and shopping.
For instance I have been shopping in a mall many times with Aussie girlfriends and never once have them even hinted at or played any emotional manipulation ploys to get me to buy them something. There have been a couple of times where I have stepped in and bought something for them as a gift, but I have never once felt that was expected, demanded, insisted on, etc.
With American women in the mall, they are constantly trying to pick your pocket, even if they don't have to or need to. I think what it is, is a control or emotional manipulation game to see how far they can push the boundaries and they do it constantly. From trying to leave their purse and wallet home, so they play the "I forgot my cards/money" game to the puppy dog eyes and pouts, it's a full throttle shakedown.
Well in Australia, like I said, most, not all, but most Australian women expect to pay their own way and don't assume or demand the man is going to pay for all their dining, entertainment and shopping.
For instance I have been shopping in a mall many times with Aussie girlfriends and never once have them even hinted at or played any emotional manipulation ploys to get me to buy them something. There have been a couple of times where I have stepped in and bought something for them as a gift, but I have never once felt that was expected, demanded, insisted on, etc.
With American women in the mall, they are constantly trying to pick your pocket, even if they don't have to or need to. I think what it is, is a control or emotional manipulation game to see how far they can push the boundaries and they do it constantly. From trying to leave their purse and wallet home, so they play the "I forgot my cards/money" game to the puppy dog eyes and pouts, it's a full throttle shakedown.
Its the company you keep. I dont know any women who would demand a male friend buy them anything or pay for their purchases at the mall. Good grief. Not even someone they have been dating for a few months, heck even a SO or husband. All the women I know pay for their own purchases.
I dont know where some of you guys get this stuff unless you just hang out with trash.
Dating isn't about money, it's about getting acquainted and enjoying each other's company. Money doesn't even have to be involved. Courting isn't about strange, petty power struggles.
That is what it should be about when it comes to dating and getting to know someone, but unfortunately that is not always the case, so as a man you have to have some boundaries, otherwise you will get taken advantage of.
Someone left a comment on my reputation page that men are all about sex.
Yes we are.
People like to think of themselves as complex creatures, but IMO, human emotions and motivations are relatively simple and haven't changed for 10,000 years. The END GAME is Men are looking to get laid, women are looking for protection/security/money. When we "date" that is the end game for everything we do.
Once people cut through all the other BS and get down to that, you will have a great deal of clarity why people act and do the things they do.
It is our culture and custom as it is for many countries for a man to pay for dating. Just accept it and stop trying to shame the more traditional women for holding on to custom. Some women keep these traditions for what ever their reason or no reason and some do not. You act as tho it is a purely American custom, but from what I have read it is common in many countries, and yes even Japan.
As a woman, you will defend the tradition of men paying for a woman’s expenses. Would you also defend the tradition of women cooking and cleaning for their man without expecting the man to do his part or is this “different”? Women keep the dating tradition because it benefits them. Women do not embrace their tradition at home because it requires them to do something I suppose.
Interesting thing is that I am on the women’s side every time they complain about house chores and I agree with them that a man is part of that house so why not chip in? But I also find it sexist for women to be part of dating and still expect/demand men to take care of their expenses. Not so much into cherry picking traditions as women, that’s all.
That’s not what I saw in Japan. Heck, they celebrate Valentine’s Day twice where it is another day where women also take their men out and March 14 the other way around compared to the west where valentine’s day is another day men take out their woman.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes
Then take other men out for dates then you can both fistfight over who pays the bill. I'm done.
Nope. I date Asian (non westernized). Same reason why I say it is just cultural differences. I still date american when I am in the USA regardless of them not taking initiative, contributing, etc. It's just american culture so I follow along "When in Rome...".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Dating isn't about money, it's about getting acquainted and enjoying each other's company. Money doesn't even have to be involved
And when money is involved, what holds you from paying for a man’s dinner, drinks, entertainment, etc. from the 1st date and on?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
All the women I know pay for their own purchases.
I agree. When it comes to spending on themselves, sure, they may pay for it. When it comes to dating women prefer to embrace tradition/culture.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo
Someone left a comment on my reputation page that men are all about sex.
There are women who see men like that and men who see women as goldiggers. There are those men/women who don’t.
The END GAME is Men are looking to get laid, women are looking for protection/security/money. When we "date" that is the end game for everything we do.
Once people cut through all the other BS and get down to that, you will have a great deal of clarity why people act and do the things they do.
Protection/security/money, if they're goals at all (not so much nowadays, with some women in lucrative careers) are long-term goals for women, not dating goals. If you're repeatedly experiencing "shakedowns", you're choosing the wrong women. Best to take a close look at your selection criteria. If I were you, and someone tried to play me like that, I'd walk away as soon as she said she left her wallet/cards at home. End of date.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 05-08-2012 at 01:39 PM..
Same reason why I say it is just cultural differences. I still date american when I am in the USA regardless of them not taking initiative, contributing, etc. It's just american culture so I follow along "When in Rome...".
Do you complain to your dates as much as you complain here? It doesn't sound as though you're very understanding or accepting of the practice at all, as much as you go on about it.
Its the company you keep. I dont know any women who would demand a male friend buy them anything or pay for their purchases at the mall. Good grief. Not even someone they have been dating for a few months, heck even a SO or husband. All the women I know pay for their own purchases.
I dont know where some of you guys get this stuff unless you just hang out with trash.
It's not the company I keep because I don't put up with that crap, all you have to do is go in any Mall and watch and listen.
The thing with women is that they know frontal attack doesn't work well, so they are very good at manipulating to get what they want and it's not always blatantly obvious.
I would bet if you did an exit survey of a 1000 women coming out of a mall, a huge percentage of them would have had their purchases paid directly by an adjacent SO or husband, or it would have been paid for with their husbands/SO/boyfriend's credit or debit card or his cash.
Do you complain to your dates as much as you complain here?
I wonder the same about women around here. I don't actually because I don't date america as often as I date asian. But even when I date american I just follow culture, which is, women not contributing or taking initiative. When I am in a muslim country, I am not too physically affectionate as it can be frown upon. When I am in Asia, I let girls ALSO contribute and take initiative as it seems acceptable.
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. I don't actually because I don't date america as often as I date asian. But even when I date american I just follow culture, which is, women not contributing or taking initiative. When I am in a muslim country, I am not too physically affectionate as it can be frown upon. When I am in Asia, I let girls ALSO contribute and take initiative as it seems acceptable.