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Two people who want to be together can have a relationship that's long distance. The only problem is that both have to be equally invested in making it work.
Mine works and we're going on 8 years together. The longest we've been apart has been three and a half months over the last 8 years.
There are also couples who have spouses in the military who do this for much much longer stretches of time. Yes it's difficult but it's not impossible.
My husband and I dated for 3 months before he went away to school. We were apart for about 2yrs (about a 7 hour drive apart) and while it was hard, it is definitely do-able.
I am trying to remember back that far, but we only saw eachother on some of our school breaks and I think the longest we went was maybe 4 months.
We talked daily and wrote eachother letters. We also had a tape (yeah, I know I'm dating myself) that we exchanged. He'd mail it to me with a new song on it, and I'd put a song on and mail it back to him. When we got married all of those songs were played at our wedding.
Do you have any intentions of ever moving closer to eachother? Knowing that we had an end date made it a little easier for us. I closed that gap even more by transferring to a school closer to his after the 2yr mark. We then saw eachother on weekends and the occasional weeknight for the remaining 3yrs.
That said, we heard it all...You don't know one another at all in the day-to-day sense, when you are together 24-7, it won't be as great as when you're in the always-romantic long distance stage, it won't be as great once you see the day-to-day flaws, you have an idealized view, etc. We both went in knowing that the other was a real person, and knowing what it is to have a day-to-day relationship that's not long distance, so there were no surprises, no rude awakenings. None of the doomsday scenarios occurred.
I agree with you. I don't mean to say that it will never work. My point is that distance can perpetuate imperfect relationships.
My husband and I have made it going on 22 years now, so I understand that it can work out.
We talked daily and wrote eachother letters. We also had a tape (yeah, I know I'm dating myself) that we exchanged. He'd mail it to me with a new song on it, and I'd put a song on and mail it back to him. When we got married all of those songs were played at our wedding.
We did mix CDs when we were long-distance...and I guarantee that those songs, which are the soundtrack of our early relationship, will feature prominently in our wedding reception soundtrack, should we choose to make it legal someday.
Thanks everyone for your stories and responses, it was great reading them and I appreciate your thoughts, opinions and feedback. I feel a little more reassured and hopeful for our relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuburbOfMemphisTN
Is there any plans for one of ya'll moving? Otherwise, I'd say remain friends, continue getting to know one another and if it happens then Great, but if it doesn't work then you could still have an awesome friend in Flordia to visit!!
Best of Luck to you both!!
To answer your question: We are in the works of doing that right now. Her over where I am, me over where she is or both of us somewhere else. That's basically been one of my main priorities right now. Thank you for wishing luck upon us, we'll need all the amount of it we can.
Many, many years ago, I dated a guy for about 9 months whom I never actually met in person before. We remained friends for many years after breaking up (it was a mutual "we're just really awesome friends, aren't we?" with no hard feelings).
Thanks everyone for your stories and responses, it was great reading them and I appreciate your thoughts, opinions and feedback. I feel a little more reassured and hopeful for our relationship.
To answer your question: We are in the works of doing that right now. Her over where I am, me over where she is or both of us somewhere else. That's basically been one of my main priorities right now. Thank you for wishing luck upon us, we'll need all the amount of it we can.
In our case, when we decided, very early on, that closing the gap was an immediate priority, I was already looking for a job in a different field than the one I'd been working in for the past half-dozen years, where I had topped out. My SO worked (and continues to work) for a large multinational company that had many places they could send him. We decided that I would expand my job search to include his area, he would look at what was available for him closer to my area, and we'd both look at options in a city that was a halfway point...and go with wherever we found the best job. It ended up with me getting hired by an employer in his city, and me making the move. But we were very flexible. He was more than willing to move to me, too, and we would have been happy calling that halfway-point city our home (and may move there someday, anyway, to be close to my family).
Two years, and things seem to have come to an end. We went from staying 24/7 together for the first half year to seeing each other every 6 months for the rest of it. My boyfriend promised me to come to find work in the U.S. so we can at least stay together until I finish school. I made plans to move to his country after I'm done with school and get 1-2 years of experience. But now seems like he's not fixed on that plan, or, didn't know how to achieve the goal from the beginning. He said he wanted to be with me, the most, however, still didn't want to leave his job. I suggested that we get engaged in two years. He never thought about that and won't want it. I can't even try to set an end date. Should I just call it off......
When I was in the Navy, I saw my ex-wife for a total of 11 weeks in one 4 year period. The longest single period - 14 months away from home port.
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