to all of you considering divorce (marriages, cheat, young, sex)
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For some people, the grass really IS greener on the other side. I'm much happier.
I grew up as a child of 2 people who should have been divorced. I agree it's no fun being a single parent and children are a huge consideration when considering a divorce. However, staying together because of the kids doesn't work all that well either. If you can't be a loving, dedicated, and supportive spouse, much better to move on. Believe me, the kids know and they then grow up thinking their parents relationship is what they should be looking for. And then the whole sad story repeats itself in their lives.
JMHO but I believe for every person who says divorce ruined their lives there's someone else wondering why they waited so long.
Divorce is devastating on children. If you can hold out for the children, do. And being a single parent is no fun at all.
But divorcing someone when it is time is one of the best things you can do for yourself in terms of your growth - but it will take a toll on the family, on the finances and you won't have a built-in family or "support system." No one to help you do anything and that can be a difficult road to hoe.
"If you can hold out for the children, do. And being a single parent is no fun at all."
This fits my parents to a Tee. There was no addictions or abuse, they just turned into siblings after 20 years(See spouse turning into roomate thread). They waited until we were grown before they split. Many people here speak of coming from abusive or addicted parents which is completely different than tired and bored.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow
JMHO but I believe for every person who says divorce ruined their lives there's someone else wondering why they waited so long.
Yep, Not everyone has had the same experience as we see. It is not just black and white. If I had abusive parents I would probably have your view.
I thought before I did it, and almost didn't. I'm glad I decided to, because the man sabotaged me at every turn, he was domineering and manipulative. And I couldn't find California Redwoods sturdy enough to prop up his ego. I just got burned out. He was in denial and insisted he didn't have a problem. All of those and all of the blame belong to me. Before you say the grass isn't greener, make sure you know the grass you're currently standing in.
peoples seem to quit on the marriage too soon, if it's not a major reason. like a couple on dr. phil one time going to divorce over his snoring and it's "ruining their lives" or something like that. I mean can't they try and find a solution for that as oppose to just quit the marriage??
I was the one who was left, not the one who left. I have been separated for more than four years and for a good part of those years I really thought there might be some way to put the marriage back together and move forward. But I was sadly mistaken and so I finally filed. He has been vendictive, obstructive and generally a pain in my backside throughout the process but I now know I could never return to a life with him and no longer feel any love for him. (We've been married more than 44 years...) So the end of my marriage had nothing to do with boredom and if I am destined to end up alone I will be very sad about it but it is still better than being with someone who treats me like crap. I was totally faithful for the entire marriage and throughout the separation but now it's time for me to try and make a life.
I was the one who was left, not the one who left. I have been separated for more than four years and for a good part of those years I really thought there might be some way to put the marriage back together and move forward. But I was sadly mistaken and so I finally filed. He has been vendictive, obstructive and generally a pain in my backside throughout the process but I now know I could never return to a life with him and no longer feel any love for him. (We've been married more than 44 years...) So the end of my marriage had nothing to do with boredom and if I am destined to end up alone I will be very sad about it but it is still better than being with someone who treats me like crap. I was totally faithful for the entire marriage and throughout the separation but now it's time for me to try and make a life.
I wish you the best. Take care of yourself , spiritualy and physically. You will be fine. (Hugs)
Why get married in the first place? Ive talked to some people who believe that having a bad day is a good enough reason to ask for divorce. Lets stop making mockery of an important institution.
Why is marriage important?
And to whom?
For the tax breaks?
If your relationship isn't strong to begin with, a piece of paper and a ridiculous number of tax breaks aren't enough to keep it together.
How about you take your advice and leave others to live the life they choose.
Divorce was the best thing that happened to my marriage
Quote:
Originally Posted by maddog1
That's exactly right At least for men it is. Ladies.- THINK. that is not bad advice . Think think think and think again!
Oh for ford's sake.
You're unhappy with your divorce.
Big deal.
Many people feel differently.
Perhaps you should have taken your own advice.
People don't die from divorce; it's not life or death.
The hysterics are humorous, though.
Most of us grow up and through the pain to have happier lives.
Heck, if I were still in that relationship, I wouldn't be typing this from my camper van in Helsinki on my way to Estonia tomorrow.
Oh for ford's sake.
You're unhappy with your divorce.
Big deal.
Many people feel differently.
Perhaps you should have taken your own advice.
People don't die from divorce; it's not life or death.
The hysterics are humorous, though.
Most of us grow up and through the pain to have happier lives.
Heck, if I were still in that relationship, I wouldn't be typing this from my camper van in Helsinki on my way to Estonia tomorrow.
Leave others to make their own decisions.
Unhappy with what came after. The grass is not always greener. Fair warning.
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or something like that. I mean can't they try and find a solution for that as oppose to just quit the marriage??
Divorce was the best thing that happened to my marriage
