to all of you considering divorce (kids, pregnant, attractive, couple)
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Unhappy with what came after. The grass is not always greener. Fair warning.
How can you make such a sweeping statement about people you don't even know?
Everyone's circumstances are very individual, some people are very happy after their divorce, others are bitter and twisted. You sound like the latter.
My ex-wife started moving her stuff out gradually and sneakily, so I didnt really notice, quit her job and bought a car without my knowledge, and was practically moved in to her moms house before she told me she wanted a divorce.
Worked out for the better on my part. She is trash, and is living the trash life style, and Ive got a far higher quality woman whom I married. Still though, its not always really an option.
My ex-wife started moving her stuff out gradually and sneakily, so I didnt really notice, quit her job and bought a car without my knowledge, and was practically moved in to her moms house before she told me she wanted a divorce.
Worked out for the better on my part. She is trash, and is living the trash life style, and Ive got a far higher quality woman whom I married. Still though, its not always really an option.
Another good point - some folks get divorced when it's not their idea or what they want/wanted at all.
DON'T! This is how the ruin of your life (unless you are really young or he's beating the crap out of you.) starts. First you daydream about being single , you start to focus on what you think you could have. Opposite sex starts becoming more attractive and you leave. (Or cheat , cheating might be the better option so that when you find out the grass isn't greener , you might not have lost anything.) This is why people cheat. Not "ethical" but probably smart. Seriously , the grass is not greener. Don't mess up your life.
That provided my laugh for the day!
Seriously, divorce was the second best decision I made in my entire life. The grass IS greener, frequently. The BEST decision on my life was marrying my second wife, the true love of my life. Sometimes I wonder why I waited so long to kick my ex to the curb, since I was immediately happier once I did.
Many people DO get divorced because they are bored. Boredom was one of many issues when I was married. My whole point is think 1000x before you divorce. DON'T divorce simply because you are bored , on a whim. Be careful.
I'd rather have a bumpy ride on my own than be bored to numbness in a marriage.
Then again, if a marriage or partnership gets boring, it's up to the bored person to try to inject some life into it. I mean, who sits around being bored? Get off yer butt and try to liven things up. Your spouse isn't there to be a form of entertainment for you. You have as much responsibility for the excitement in your relationship as your partner.
And if you can't get anything going, who is to say that it wouldn't be better to leave? Just because you, Maddog, hate dating and have had a bad time of it, that doesn't mean that everyone will.
Marriage is a choice. I choose to me married to my wife. She chooses to be married to me. Both of us need to choose to be married with each other in order to be considered a marriage. If either one of us no longer choose to be married, then why prolong the inevitable? It is that simple.
So, is this about sex? Really if cheating might answer the question, then it is about sex? I don't think many people get divorced because they are bored. I think a lot of people get divorced for reasons that they don't make public and they should not out of respect for the spouse. Cheating doesn't happen in good marriages between mature adults. I divorced my first husband almost 31 years ago and have no regrets not even in having married him in the first place because together we had a most wonderful son. You do not know what kind of things go on behind closed doors and sometimes, those things are unspeakable.
How can you make such a sweeping statement about people you don't even know?
Everyone's circumstances are very individual, some people are very happy after their divorce, others are bitter and twisted. You sound like the latter.
Oh yeah , I am bitter at the moment. Not twisted , you think divorce is good and I don't so what. Im just telling people it shouldn't be taken lightly. Things change but people need to be realistic as to what creeps are out there (and be smarter than me in avoiding them) Im sure there are good men out there too. Just going to put myself first and be protective from now on. Lots of good points throughout the thread for people to consider. That was my intent.
DON'T! This is how the ruin of your life (unless you are really young or he's beating the crap out of you.) starts. First you daydream about being single , you start to focus on what you think you could have. Opposite sex starts becoming more attractive and you leave. (Or cheat , cheating might be the better option so that when you find out the grass isn't greener , you might not have lost anything.) This is why people cheat. Not "ethical" but probably smart. Seriously , the grass is not greener. Don't mess up your life.
Bull****!
Divorce was the best thing for me. My only regret, that I didn't divorce her sooner.
The ex caused plenty of damage. Dumping her was incredibly smart. My life is far from messed up. In fact, post divorce is the best I have felt, been, and am going in pretty much all my life.
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