Can I have some alone time without an argument. (dating, movies, boyfriend)
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So I've been dating this guy for about two months or more.
We see each other pretty much everyday but sometimes like anyone normal I need time to myself. I need to deflate. I need to just rest. Anytime I tell him I will not see him at night. Or Ithat I need time to myself he becomes strangely inconsolable. He claims I'm tired of him, that I no longer like him etc. Right now because I didn't want to spend all of memorial day with him and I didn't answer his call at night he's on one of his tirades. Saying that he now needs time "like me", and that I don't like him anymore.
It seems so infantile. But his "immature" nature when he's in a good mood is kind of what is endearing about him. But the chico is a roller coaster when it comes to emotions.
I'm the same way. Everyday after only 2 months is too much for me. Anyone who throws a temper tantrum because you need a night to yourself is someone I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with.
Tough one. He is a needy , annoying (is this a turn off?) child. If this is annoying , it will not get better so you need to tell him eventually you will get sick of this and it will break you two up. (if I am right in my ASSUMPTION he is annoying.) Try to say it nice ," hey I really care about you but this could become a serious problem." Good luck
How do you present that you need some down time? If you're blunt about it, then he may feel like you're pulling away. If you frame it nicely, like that you're an introvert and need to recharge, but you can't wait to have dinner on Thursday, then he'll be reassured that you're not just about to dump him.
I try to be as nice about it as possible. I tell him I need to rest, I have household things I need to take care of... whatever the reason is I give it to him. And then I tell him this or that day I'll see him but nothing seems to work.
Reminds me of an ex-boyfriend from several years ago. He wanted to come over every single freakin' night. I had a 2,200 square foot house that needed cleaning, laundry needed to be done, books to be read, TV shows to be watched, etc. I was away from home 12 hours a day between commuting and actual time on the job and would come home exhausted. Sometimes I just wanted to kick back on the couch, watch a little TV, read a book and go to bed and I didn't want or need anyone else there. When he would come over, he wanted to play games - yes, games like backgammon & cribbage. Now, I enjoy a good game once in a while but not every single day It was ridiculous. If we weren't at my house playing games or having sex, we were out at the movies. I had no free time. I knew after about a month of this that it was never going to last, but it took another couple months before I finally broke it off (silly me, I thought things might get better, and he really was a nice sweet guy).
He's now a Facebook friend but never comments or likes anything I post. I think he was collecting friends that might play Facebook games with him. Yes, seriously, this 40 something year old guy is apparently hooked on Farmville and a dozen other stupid FB games. I just don't really have the heart to unfriend him (he was so hurt when I broke up with him 8 years ago).
He has attached an emotional hose to you that in order for him to function is to be with you.
At this early stage when you try to detach from his emotional hose, he uses the passive/aggressive (PA) behaviors and your actions about it calling it endearing only encourage future PA because it works on you, because you choose to not enforce your personal boundaries about the matter.
He might be exhibiting codependent behaviors that will just grow overtime.
The question is not about you wanting your personal time without argument. The question is about you enforcing your personal boundaries, and him able to cope with your choices and boundaries.
My conclusion: He needs to be a man of his own, able to pursue his desires without the need of having anyone else around.
Dump him and you'll have plenty of time to be without an argument. Sorry to sound blunt, but I dated a woman who acted like this and my regret was that I didn't dump her much sooner.
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It was ridiculous. If we weren't at my house playing games or having sex, we were out at the movies. I had no free time. I knew after about a month of this that it was never going to last, but it took another couple months before I finally broke it off (silly me, I thought things might get better, and he really was a nice sweet guy).
