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My little brother, who is 25 this year is mad at me again. The reason this time is this:
He is moving 700 miles to Seattle with his girlfriend. They are hiring a moving company to move their 1 bedroom apartment (minus any TV, washer dryer, or fridge) the 700 miles. My brother calls me up and asks me if I can drive over to Seattle for him to wait for the movers to arrive, apparently if they do not specify a date that the stuff has to get there, they will save $300.
I live over 200 miles from Seattle. It would cost me roughly $100 in gas, I would have to drive over the cascade mountains and it is roughly a 3 hour drive 1 way when the weather is good, right now it is snowing. I said I would do it, I recently moved and it was expensive so I wanted to help out.
The next day he is just talking to me and he mentions that he bought a new cell phone and plan, the phone was the voyager which cost him $300. So Here is our conversation:
ME: what phone did u get
BROTHER: Voyager
ME: isnt that phone like $300
BROTHER: Yep
BROTHER: Plus I had to pay a deposit
ME: then why do you need me to drive to seattle to save $300
ME: no offense, but it was going to cost about $75-100 in gas and I thought it was cause you needed money
BROTHER: Not cause we needed money, because it's better to save it if you can..
BROTHER: I didn't know you were purely going by the numbers
ME: well i was doing it as a favor, it was also 6 hours of driving
ME: sorry but it seems kind of rude to ask somebody to do you a favor to save $300, that will cost them $100 and then go buy a phone. If that doesnt make sense to you i dont know what to say
ME: i dont want to fight with you, but think about it. That is kind of rude
BROTHER: Yeah, asking a favor from family, so very rude.
BROTHER: Sorry, didn't mean to possibly cost you money
BROTHER hangs up on me
My little brother, who is 25 this year is mad at me again. The reason this time is this:
He is moving 700 miles to Seattle with his girlfriend. They are hiring a moving company to move their 1 bedroom apartment (minus any TV, washer dryer, or fridge) the 700 miles. My brother calls me up and asks me if I can drive over to Seattle for him to wait for the movers to arrive, apparently if they do not specify a date that the stuff has to get there, they will save $300.
I live over 200 miles from Seattle. It would cost me roughly $100 in gas, I would have to drive over the cascade mountains and it is roughly a 3 hour drive 1 way when the weather is good, right now it is snowing. I said I would do it, I recently moved and it was expensive so I wanted to help out.
The next day he is just talking to me and he mentions that he bought a new cell phone and plan, the phone was the voyager which cost him $300. So Here is our conversation:
ME: what phone did u get
BROTHER: Voyager
ME: isnt that phone like $300
BROTHER: Yep
BROTHER: Plus I had to pay a deposit
ME: then why do you need me to drive to seattle to save $300
ME: no offense, but it was going to cost about $75-100 in gas and I thought it was cause you needed money
BROTHER: Not cause we needed money, because it's better to save it if you can..
BROTHER: I didn't know you were purely going by the numbers
ME: well i was doing it as a favor, it was also 6 hours of driving
ME: sorry but it seems kind of rude to ask somebody to do you a favor to save $300, that will cost them $100 and then go buy a phone. If that doesnt make sense to you i dont know what to say
ME: i dont want to fight with you, but think about it. That is kind of rude
BROTHER: Yeah, asking a favor from family, so very rude.
BROTHER: Sorry, didn't mean to possibly cost you money
BROTHER hangs up on me
LOL Yeah it's darn rude of your brother.....good grief! Let him meet his own furniture or pay the $300 bucks. He's got his priorities backwards.
I'm taking your brother's side. You agreed to help him, and how he chooses to spend his money is not for you to judge. If you felt that the driving, gas money, and time you would be spending on helping him was too much, then you should not have agreed to do it. If you felt he is normally wasteful with his money, then you could have just not agreed to help.
You are not the jerk. Your brother feels entitled and is acting selfish and has his priorities screwed up. I think he needs to work this out himself, especially after the way he spoke to you. He's acting like a child, getting angry because he doesn't get his way. Poor baby.
My little brother, who is 25 this year is mad at me again. The reason this time is this:
He is moving 700 miles to Seattle with his girlfriend. They are hiring a moving company to move their 1 bedroom apartment (minus any TV, washer dryer, or fridge) the 700 miles. My brother calls me up and asks me if I can drive over to Seattle for him to wait for the movers to arrive, apparently if they do not specify a date that the stuff has to get there, they will save $300.
I live over 200 miles from Seattle. It would cost me roughly $100 in gas, I would have to drive over the cascade mountains and it is roughly a 3 hour drive 1 way when the weather is good, right now it is snowing. I said I would do it, I recently moved and it was expensive so I wanted to help out.
The next day he is just talking to me and he mentions that he bought a new cell phone and plan, the phone was the voyager which cost him $300. So Here is our conversation:
ME: what phone did u get
BROTHER: Voyager
ME: isnt that phone like $300
BROTHER: Yep
BROTHER: Plus I had to pay a deposit
ME: then why do you need me to drive to seattle to save $300
ME: no offense, but it was going to cost about $75-100 in gas and I thought it was cause you needed money
BROTHER: Not cause we needed money, because it's better to save it if you can..
BROTHER: I didn't know you were purely going by the numbers
ME: well i was doing it as a favor, it was also 6 hours of driving
ME: sorry but it seems kind of rude to ask somebody to do you a favor to save $300, that will cost them $100 and then go buy a phone. If that doesnt make sense to you i dont know what to say
ME: i dont want to fight with you, but think about it. That is kind of rude
BROTHER: Yeah, asking a favor from family, so very rude.
BROTHER: Sorry, didn't mean to possibly cost you money
BROTHER hangs up on me
It isn't about who is a jerk and who is not or what he is spending his money on.
do you want to help? If the answer is yes, then....
then ask him to reimburse you the money for the gas...and if you have to stay anywhere. Tell him you don't mind helping, but communicate to h im, that you can't afford on your own. Period.
Your brother needs to grow up and if he feels adult enough to move to Seattle with his girlfriend then they should be adult enough to figure out how to do it without bothering anyone else about it. He'll get over it...just wait until he needs some money for something else later, he'll call you again...
I'm taking your brother's side. You agreed to help him, and how he chooses to spend his money is not for you to judge. If you felt that the driving, gas money, and time you would be spending on helping him was too much, then you should not have agreed to do it. If you felt he is normally wasteful with his money, then you could have just not agreed to help.
I am glad that you posted your point of view, it lets me see things from his side. I feel pretty upset with him because he acted as if he needed the money. He was saying that they had to sell their TV and their computer and DVD player to afford the move. I do not know if that would change your opinion, but I should have included in my original post that this was my reason for helping him--because he acted as if he needed the money and I knew moving was expensive.
Thanks for your post
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