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Paying for the trip is not a justification to be controlling of the trip.
A couple on a trip should plan the trip together, and be willing to compromise and sacrifice so each other can do things they themselves are not as crazy about. Generally, this should not be too difficult, as I would imagine there would be a lot of common interests anyway, and maybe a couple "do this with me" special requests.
If you are traveling with your GF or BF and say you are paying for the trip entirely would you expect to plan things entirely your way? Would you accept it if you really wanted to see a place and your GF/BF said he/she didn't want to visit that part and you need to find something else?
How would you resolve this issue?
You're struggling with this stuff lately, aren't you? I think it would be terribly rude to say that you have total control of all the activities simply because you are paying for the whole thing. It's like dangling a carrot to someone you love and making them jump through hoops to get it.
If you guys can't compromise, don't go anywhere together.
I'm paying the freight and that means I set the itinerary. Now I might be willing to compromise on some things. Lets say I had a low priority stop or activity planned and she just didn't care for that. Fine. I can delist and that, and I might even be able to include something that I wouldn't pick, but she really wants to do. I can't expect her to go on the trip but everything's my way. But there's a limit.
I'm paying the freight and that means I set the itinerary. Now I might be willing to compromise on some things. Lets say I had a low priority stop or activity planned and she just didn't care for that. Fine. I can delist and that, and I might even be able to include something that I wouldn't pick, but she really wants to do. I can't expect her to go on the trip but everything's my way. But there's a limit.
That is reasonable.
If I am paying for the trip and I ASK someone to go with me, then I will go along with what they might want to do or not want to do to an extent. I am not unreasonable. But if it is YOUR trip being paid for by YOU then I think that person has the right to predominately set the itinerary.
If I am paying for the trip and I ASK someone to go with me, then I will go along with what they might want to do or not want to do to an extent. I am not unreasonable. But if it is YOUR trip being paid for by YOU then I think that person has the right to predominately set the itinerary.
So what would you do if you were both paying your own halfs? Each of you go do what you want? What's the point of taking the trip together?
In a healthy relationship both people want the other to have a good time, so they compromise on what to do. Even if you do something you don't want, you still get to see the other having a good time, and you might be surprised that it was enjoyable.
By the way, traveling with someone is pretty much the acid test in determining if you want to be with them over the long haul.
This is absolutely, 100% true. I always advise people who want to get married, "Before you even think of getting hitched, travel across country together." 3,000 miles in a car will reveal an awful lot about a person. Will you want to eat at the same places? (or just food to go), listen to the same music, prefer the same hotels (or want to camp), etc. etc. Does one person want to drive 800 miles a day and the other dawdle? Will one person want to leave at the crack of dawn and the other sleep till noon?
If more couples did this, there would be a lot less impetuous or failed marriages.
This is absolutely, 100% true. I always advise people who want to get married, "Before you even think of getting hitched, travel across country together." 3,000 miles in a car will reveal an awful lot about a person. Will you want to eat at the same places? (or just food to go), listen to the same music, prefer the same hotels (or want to camp), etc. etc. Does one person want to drive 800 miles a day and the other dawdle? Will one person want to leave at the crack of dawn and the other sleep till noon?
If more couples did this, there would be a lot less impetuous or failed marriages.
Well, a couple isn't going to agree 100% on everything when traveling, but it sure does measure how the two of you will compromise. What's more, everybody is on their best behavior on a date. They're often something different entirely if they're bored, hot, tired, hungry, and and whatever else one might feel on a long trip.
This is absolutely, 100% true. I always advise people who want to get married, "Before you even think of getting hitched, travel across country together." 3,000 miles in a car will reveal an awful lot about a person. Will you want to eat at the same places? (or just food to go), listen to the same music, prefer the same hotels (or want to camp), etc. etc. Does one person want to drive 800 miles a day and the other dawdle? Will one person want to leave at the crack of dawn and the other sleep till noon?
If more couples did this, there would be a lot less impetuous or failed marriages.
You know I had to chuckle because we take road trips all the time and RARELY do we want to eat at the same places, listen to the same music, want to stay at the same hotels...etc. He's an early riser, I'm a night owl.
Those things have nothing to do with anything. You could be complete opposites (my husband and I are for the most part). The real test is if you can compromise on these things because you care enough to make that person happy.
Edit: oops, and I see cpg touched on the same thing I had just written. Next time I'll read all the way down before I get antsy to respond.
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