How to make a girl on facebook who lives 2000 miles away like you? (married, girls)
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The title is just a hook, I know it's impossible to make someone like you, and even if you become close online, it might be different in real life, as my brother found out in one relationship. But this is my situation:
Okay so since March, I've been talking to this girl from southern Ontario. I live in Oregon but I am planning on moving to Canada to study anyways next year, I'm mostly thinking about Vancouver but I'd change plans and study in Ontario instead if anything happened between her and I (i'm not counting my chickens btw). I'm not interested in finding a local girl because I plan to leave soon though I'm not totally closed off to the idea I guess, I just really like this girl in particular.
She's 18 and I'm 22, and we are kinda online friends, I met her on yahoo answers and I have her on my facebook and we chat maybe 2-3 times a week on average there or on yahoo messenger or skype or whatever.
So the thing is, she's a pretty nice girl but I get the idea that sometimes she gives me the cold shoulder and just feels obliged to talk to me but doesn't really want to, even though she told me that she would just tell me if she didn't want to talk to me anymore.
The thing is though, I really like her and I do think she is probably interested in talking to me, she just has a very busy life. She's about to graduate from high school and she works a part time job, and she's a pretty girl who seems fairly popular so she probably has a lot of friends which could explain why she seems standoffish at times and often, hell, usually, forgets to say goodbye.
Some things though - I usually am the one to initiate a conversation online, and usually she doesn't stay very long, but occasionally I will luck out and she will talk to me for a couple hours.
I have her phone number, she didn't outright give it to me but it's on her FB page, I called her a couple weeks ago after she had a really bad allergic reaction to ask her how she was doing, and to let her know I was concerned. She seemed happy that I checked up on her, I was worried she would be like all 'wtf is this' but she wasn't like that at all thankfully.
I tried calling her again last night at 5 PM (8 PM her time) and 6 PM (9 her time) but got her voice mail each time. I didn't leave a message.
How can I increase the odds of her letting me get closer to her and know her better? How much do I talk to her? Generally I message her about 3 times a week and she writes back maybe 2 out of 3 of those times, she always seems to have something else to do though and generally doesn't stay much longer than 20 minutes or so.
I really like this girl, how can I make myself seem more interesting to her without annoying her? Should I try to call her again tomorrow, or wait another day or two?
Is she even worth the trouble?
Last edited by callmemaybe; 06-10-2012 at 03:14 AM..
Another thing too - I talk to a girl from Australia, I have for six years now and when we first talked she was, like this girl, a bit cold to me at times, and definitely not interested in meeting me in real life, but now she is looking forward to me visiting her next year. We're not romantic or anything though, just really really good friends. Do you think this girl might be the same and open up to me more if I play my cards right, or does it sound like she will always be like this towards me?
Ummm, you come across sounding like some crazy stalker.
Maybe you should give this girl a break. It sounds like you aren't maybe as important to her as she is to you.
Sorry.
Well, that's a little bit judgmental isn't it? I mean you're right in the sense as it is, she is probably more important to me than I am to her, but what I am asking is how can I go about changing that possibly?
Do you think I should just remove her from my facebook and messenger and pretend I never met her?
Last edited by callmemaybe; 06-10-2012 at 02:40 AM..
My advice is to unplug your computer, go for a walk, and talk to some real people in the real world.
Like people in the real world are any easier to open up to. ha. Plus, I'm not gonna live here much longer, why would I look for love in a place that I plan on leaving?
It's the 21st century. My mom met my stepdad who lived 800 miles away online, and they got married ... that was in the 1990s, actually. =D
Possibly, but I can only make a judgement based on the facts presented.
As I see it, you're a little "intense".
Quote:
Originally Posted by callmemaybe
how can I go about changing that?
You can't. Not at least until you meet her in real life.
Love doesn't happen over the internet. It's a chemical process and does require some face to face interaction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by callmemaybe
Do you think I should just remove her from my facebook and messenger and pretend I never met her?
No, I don't.
It does sound like she has other things to do, and I think you should respect that.
Let her live her life. At the moment, you aren't really part of it with the exception of a couple of messages a week.
You're an online friend. Continue to be so.
If you get the chance to meet her, then that's your chance to show her what she's missing out on.
Possibly, but I can only make a judgement based on the facts presented.
As I see it, you're a little "intense".
You can't. Not at least until you meet her in real life.
Love doesn't happen over the internet. It's a chemical process and does require some face to face interaction.
No, I don't.
It does sound like she has other things to do, and I think you should respect that.
Let her live her life. At the moment, you aren't really part of it with the exception of a couple of messages a week.
You're an online friend. Continue to be so.
If you get the chance to meet her, then that's your chance to show her what she's missing out on.
I guess I was more asking, how can I make her more interested in getting to know me better, and more importantly letting me get to know her? Like I said, the title is just a hook, I know I can't make someone love me romantically over the Internet (or in real life for that matter), I'm more just asking what the best way to play my cards with her is.
I do respect she has other things going on. That's why I don't message her more than a few times a week, and that's why i waited 2 weeks to call her again. It's temping to message her whenever I see her on facebook but i don't because I know she has other stuff to do and I don't want to seem clingy or annoying because I have had girls do that to me and it got on my nerves and made me like them less. I also messaged her in the morning one time and she got annoyed at me so now I don't do that anymore.
And okay, thanks for the advice. I just snapped because I was asking for advice, not judgment, that's all. I am sorry.
Remember, folks will make judgements based on what you have written.
Your friend will make judgements based on what you have done.
Only she can answer your question 100% accurately, but be cautious she doesn't come to the same conclusion as me.
Softly, softly catchee monkey, young Grasshopper........................
Quote:
Originally Posted by callmemaybe
I was asking for advice, not judgment, that's all. I am sorry.
Remember, folks will make judgements based on what you have written.
Your friend will make judgements based on what you have done.
Only she can answer your question 100% accurately, but be cautious she doesn't come to the same conclusion as me.
Softly, softly catchee monkey, young Grasshopper........................
I hope not! Last thing I would want to do is make her uncomfortable. I have felt uncomfortable like that before, it's not a feeling I'd wish anyone else to feel.
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