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Quit trying to be subtle and leave her alone as a potential romantic interest. She already has a boyfriend and it isn't you. Move on romantically and quit flirting with her it is wrong to be doing this with someone you know for sure has a boyfriend already.
This approach worked very well for a friend of mine recently who was in an almost exact similar situation. He just became friends with the girl and a few months later the girl dumbed her boyfriend and ended up with him and they're a perfect match.
I found girls often keep the current boyfriend till they fall for the next guy. No girl wants to be alone Friday night.
Be aware that you may loose your job over the relationship if it does not work out. There are good reasons not to date in the work place.
So I work with a girl that has a boyfriend of 1 year. I'm 29 and she is 24. We seem to have a really good connection, we talk almost every day at least a little bit. We've emailed back and forth for hours at work sometimes, and she has given me her phone number and we have texted quite a bit as well.
We joke around and flirt a little bit here and there at work. She somewhat told me she was "happy" with her boyfriend but I feel like we keep getting closer and closer. I think I'm going to see what she's up to this weekend and try to see if she's going to be out at bars with friends and try to meet up with her (and my friends). I've never really been a guy to try and breakup a relationship as I've always tried to be honorable and walk away...but that has never paid off for me and I've had guys try to move in on my past girlfriends all the time. What do any of you think would be a good next move. I'm not going to spill my gutts to her or tell her how I feel, that's just stupid and that plan never works. I am taking the subtle approach and just trying to get to know her and be friends at this point.
I'm also actively dating other people, there's about 4 women I'm talking to from okcupid and I'm meeting one of them for drinks tonight. The girl I work with knows this and she's been joking around about how I'm "such a ladies man" and our running joke is about her being my "dating coordinator/organizer". I figure if she is at all feeling the same way in a strong enough fashion it'll be on her to try and bring up a conversation about it if she knows I'm dating other women.
This approach worked very well for a friend of mine recently who was in an almost exact similar situation. He just became friends with the girl and a few months later the girl dumbed her boyfriend and ended up with him and they're a perfect match.
Think about this:
Do you really want to start a relationship with a girl who's comfortable flirting with the idea of cheating on her boyfriend?
People show you who they are, it's up to you to believe them.
There's too many women out there to be stuck on one that's unavailable, unless you're stuck in a small town in which she is the only girl. In that case, quit your job and move somewhere else. At the same time, that girl will be out of site and out of mind.
She seems to be playing games omighr really like you. She has a man so I'd probably stay away from here. Unless she's trying to get rid of him I'd wouldn't take her seriously all. If you make good money you have a fairly share of women after you, no need to get beat up or have some idiot play with your emotions and feelings.
Keep it moving, do your own thing, and when and if she decides to break up with him make your move. Don't be the the deciding factor in her breakup, because then you become the "Knight in Shining Armor" and the slightest imperfection, or quirk you may have will be devastating to her, and she'll hold you responsible for the s**t that the boyfriend did to her.
Has it occurred to you that at the same time you don't have strong feelings for her, she doesn't have strong feelings for you? That perhaps the reason she's "more talkative" now that you told her you're chasing four skirts right now is because she doesn't feel any pressure that you might try to date her? "Oh good, he's dating others, whew!" and feels more comfortable being a friend?
And no, it does NOT always make you more desirable in a woman's eyes to know that you are dating four other girls. In fact, I'm not sure who would find that "attractive" or "desirable". You don't understand much about women, do you?
The signs..what signs? That's she's friendly? Dude, some girls are just friendly and I can't tell you how many times guys start thinking that means she's in to them. If she was interested in you, if the "signs" were there, she would no longer have a boyfriend. She's just friendly and likes you as a friend.
Sorry to burst your bubble.
I know the difference between friendly and flirting. She comes over to my desk on the other side of the office to chat with me (and doesn't do that for other guys). She GAVE ME HER CELL NUMBER. We email and text every day when we aren't talking. She was shy about telling me she had a boyfriend, like she didn't want me to know about it. Anyway, not to say your opinion is wrong, but I know her and you don't so I'm going with my own gut feeling on this one.
No need to apologize, bubble still in tact!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
There is nothing wrong, or stupid, about wanting to learn how to snowboard.
For most people with some common sense, the "next step" would be to find someone that was unattached. Get it?
My mom prevented me from snowboarding for years because she thought it was stupid and dangerous. I did it anyway and loved it and still love it to this day. It works out great.
I've decided my next step will be to invite her to a party I'm going to tonight that happens to be in her neighborhood.
Wish me luck!
Quote:
Originally Posted by swannynguyen92
That's right man! Try to be a good man. Be her friend and be the one she want to be by side the most when she sad.. That's when you're sucess.
No, by then it's too late, she just wants a shoulder to cry on. I don't want to be that guy, it's annoying and boring. I'll be the guy who is there when she's looking for a rebound.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
Quit trying to be subtle and leave her alone as a potential romantic interest. She already has a boyfriend and it isn't you. Move on romantically and quit flirting with her it is wrong to be doing this with someone you know for sure has a boyfriend already.
I disagree, it's not my decision to make if her relationship is strong or not. What if I talk to her in a week and she says "oh I'm not with that other guy, I'm with a new boyfriend now" And it was all because I backed away? I'd feel pretty stupid then. I'll err on the side of being fun and friendly and getting to know her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona
I found girls often keep the current boyfriend till they fall for the next guy. No girl wants to be alone Friday night.
Be aware that you may loose your job over the relationship if it does not work out. There are good reasons not to date in the work place.
I won't lose my job, I'm higher up than her in the company and I report directly to the President of the company. He interviewed 50 people before me trying to fill this position before he found me and offered me the job. They've invested way too much into my training to let me go. It's a smaller company of about 100 people.
Thank you for pointing out the potential concern though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fire&ice
Think about this:
Do you really want to start a relationship with a girl who's comfortable flirting with the idea of cheating on her boyfriend?
People show you who they are, it's up to you to believe them.
If it's with the guy who she's supposed to end up being with who is the right guy for her and she happens to meet the one while she's dating someone else...then I won't mind it. I'll know we were right for each other and our connection prevailed over something weaker she had with someone else.
This very well may be the case, but it costs me nothing to spend time with her and get to know her and see if our connection is really there or not. At this point I have no idea if we're right for each other, but I will find out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pearlyjones2011
your next step will be in hospital,if you keep bothering another mans woman...
I live in a civilized world, I don't know anyone whom that's ever happened to, and I'm not worried about some guy half my size (I saw a pic of her bf on facebook. She hides most of her boyfriend pics though, he's puny.)
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Don't feel. Think.
