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I think I've changed a little bit with every relationship I've been in.
You can't live with someone, or be with them for a long time without changing in some way.
Some of the changes I regret, but most have made me a better person.
biggest single change was probably stopping smoking for an ex. She didn't nag, but made her displeasure plain.
I'd been wanting to stop for a while anyway, so her "gentle encouragement" made all the difference
I got to thinking about this today. I am the kind of person who does not wish to change people. I do believe that if a person thinks they need changing, then they are the decider of that. I do not go into a relationship trying to change anyone.
So, is there anything about you or anything that you do that your SO doesn't like, or would like you to change, and did you/would you?
My sweetie has never complained once about anything I do or anything about me....out loud. Not until July 4. He got out of the shower and said, "Do you know that you have 16 bottles of things in the shower?"
I had never really thought about it, but he was right, I did. So, we went into the bathroom and I explained to him my order on the use of all of the products.
I do use them all, but I don't suppose they all need to be in there... By the time he got home from work the next day, the number of bottles was down to 8.
Not a biggie, and not anything to get rid of me over, lol.
Flip side; he keeps all the food downstairs! He doesn't like things on the kitchen or bathroom counters and I am quite the opposite. You can probably tell by all of my products...
I have been living with him since January so I suppose there has been compromise. I keep the things I use a lot upstairs and the surplus stays downstairs. He shops for a million years and it is all in the basement.
He has cut back on that....
But about our personalities or selves, so far neither of us has complained.....
I do suppose that we must compromise when we live with someone and not everything can be our way all the time
You? Would you put away some of your shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and facial cleanser for him?
Well, it goes something like this.
You take Mr. Average Joe Man.
He's a real TV. soap heart throb.
Women are used to him. They think all men should look, act and be just like him.
You take ME MAN...they want to change everything.
Any questions?
By the way, don't touch...it's sharp or loaded!
Did you tell him to get a blow up doll so he could make her just like he wanted?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
My bra is held together with Loctite and a bit of duct tape Mine is stabbing me too, but I can't afford a new one right now until a sale starts.
As for the OP, I could write a book on what my ex told me he wanted to change:
*My weight
*My height
*My tattoos
*My genetic disorder
*My surgery scars
*Basically my entire personality
*My boobs
*The fact that it's very hard for me to do contact or jarring sports because I have pins in my knee and it hurts horribly. He thought I was just 'making up' the pain.
*The food I ate
*The way I made the bed
*The way I cleaned our house
*The way I mowed our lawn
*How I was 'cluttered'. He hated anything on the walls (pictures, paintings etc. and I hate bare walls)
etc. etc. etc. Seriously, I could go on forever. And he told me all of this stuff ALL the time.
I think once you live with someone your habits need to blend together.
I have 4 bottles in my bath, having 16 is a crime that will get you onto hoarders!
Now Moonie, I have a method! lol. I had to explain to him the method and he looked at me like I was insane! On the third day I use products on my face and body which exfoliate. There are two extra bottles, and they stayed.
On the second day I use a more expensive bottle of shampoo for color. It stayed. I use the same conditioner all the time and its mate on the first day. They stayed. I like to switch up my body wash because of the different scents, I even had mens kind in there. I only kept one. I need to shave my legs dammit so I kept the shaving cream. That makes 7.
Then there is this Neutragena sp rain bath that was in there before I came so its not mine but he acts like it is. It stayed.
He has 2 bottles. I did tell him that the solution to all of this would be to be like his parents. His mom has a nice bathroom of her own upstairs and his dad showers in the basement.
Alas, I did compromise and brought it down to half. He compromises and lets me have food upstairs in the kitchen instead of all downstairs.
Its all good...this is a light thread.... we work well together, all the time.
Did you tell him to get a blow up doll so he could make her just like he wanted?
Sadly, he got that 'perfect' girl around 3 months after we broke up. So, that just boosted his ego even more. He texted me a picture of her and said 'see, now THIS is what a real woman looks like'.
I think when living together there needs to be compromises, based upon how much it matters to each person.
I think me and my SO trade-off on compromises, if it REALLY bugs me that he leaves clothes around (it doesn't) he would make an effort not to do it, if it REALLY bugged him that I had lots of stuff in the bathroom (I do), I would change that. Some things don't matter to other that much, some things do.
I want him to be happy, so changing minor stuff is no biggie, and he feels the same.
BUT, I am wayyyyy more anal-retentive than he is, so I try not over do it.
When I was married I was just plain mean to everyone I felt the need to be indifferent to eveyone I came across. I just wasn't able to let things go like I can now. About two years before our marriage ended I met someone who acted like I did. It was like looking in the mirror & I saw my dad in me again. I still see him coming though in me sometimes. I hope to advoid it but it's not looking good these days.
Sadly, he got that 'perfect' girl around 3 months after we broke up. So, that just boosted his ego even more. He texted me a picture of her and said 'see, now THIS is what a real woman looks like'.
Wow, what a [bad word]. I know that this must have caused a lot of pain, but this guy sounds like a real [more bad words]. If he was never satisfied with you, you are better off without him anyway. I believe you mentioned moving this winter. That's good because it's a clean slate, a new start. Let it be the light at the end of the tunnel and motivate you. Something better awaits, and you won't need "tennis star" before long anyway.
Wow, what a [bad word]. I know that this must have caused a lot of pain, but this guy sounds like a real [more bad words]. If he was never satisfied with you, you are better off without him anyway. I believe you mentioned moving this winter. That's good because it's a clean slate, a new start. Let it be the light at the end of the tunnel and motivate you. Something better awaits, and you won't need "tennis star" before long anyway.
Jet he will find something wrong with her as well. We should not have to change for anyone, but for our own selves.
The last p(r)ick of the litter asked me: to not work out as much, to not be so feisty, and to be less independent. I wish I were kidding. I cannot post what my very un-ladylike comment to him was but I'm sure it involved an X-acto knife.
Last edited by Pikake; 07-12-2012 at 08:10 PM..
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