Anything wrong with asking younger female co-worker... (dating, wives, married)
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My wife is divorcing me, left (me and our 16 yr old son) to live her life for herself almost 2 yrs ago.
Ive been responsible parent to our son, maintained the home and kept working which has kept me plenty busy. My wife has told me to 'get on with my life' as that is what she is planning to (or already doing?)
I am younger looking than my mid-50s age; probably due to the fact I worked out every day up till I married age 30. I also dont smoke, drink, do drugs and havent eaten candy, cookies, cake, ice cream, or fast junk foods in 30 yrs. I'm more physically fit than most 30 yr olds and have no extra body fat.
Anyways, I'm getting bored being alone and there is a young woman that I work with over the past few years who I talk to almost daily. We sometimes enjoy small talk about different things, anyways she has been gaining a few extra pounds and Ive been thinking about asking her if she wants to get together and bicycle ride through the city's park and bike paths. She is single and uninvolved with anyone but I dont have any other intentions but just sharing company to keep physically active. I would guess she is about 30 yrs old and lives with her mother to help her out. I asked a close male co-worker friend where we work and his initial response was that I'm still married and that my wife might change her mind and come back. I told him that my wife is driving forward full speed with the divorce and that I didnt have romantic intentions just social and exercise.
My wife is divorcing me, left (me and our 16 yr old son) to live her life for herself almost 2 yrs ago.
Ive been responsible parent to our son, maintained the home and kept working which has kept me plenty busy. My wife has told me to 'get on with my life' as that is what she is planning to (or already doing?)
I am younger looking than my mid-50s age; probably due to the fact I worked out every day up till I married age 30. I also dont smoke, drink, do drugs and havent eaten candy, cookies, cake, ice cream, or fast junk foods in 30 yrs. I'm more physically fit than most 30 yr olds and have no extra body fat.
Anyways, I'm getting bored being alone and there is a young woman that I work with over the past few years who I talk to almost daily. We sometimes enjoy small talk about different things, anyways she has been gaining a few extra pounds and Ive been thinking about asking her if she wants to get together and bicycle ride through the city's park and bike paths. She is single and uninvolved with anyone but I dont have any other intentions but just sharing company to keep physically active. I would guess she is about 30 yrs old and lives with her mother to help her out. I asked a close male co-worker friend where we work and his initial response was that I'm still married and that my wife might change her mind and come back. I told him that my wife is driving forward full speed with the divorce and that I didnt have romantic intentions just social and exercise.
Working out or being friends is cool. However, if your intentions are to date her then i'd advise against dating or having sex with co-workers.
There is an old saying "Don't dip your pen in company ink." Good advice 50 years ago, when sexual harassment lawsuits were unheard of, and still good advice.
I don't have an issue with workplace romances. I do, however, think you should keep the gaining weight comments off the table (I assume you will, but I've been wrong before).
I don't see the harm in asking if she'd like to join you for a ride.
If you are on friendly terms with her, absolutely. I have many older male friends that I socialize with on a platonic level. However, you may want to make it clear to her you are not intending to "go there" - Not sure how you tactfully do that. My older guy buddies are all married and their wives know me or perpetual bachelors, so it was never an issue. As spinx pointed out, DO NOT say anything about her gaining a few pounds.
Thanks, I didnt plan on saying anything about the weight gain. In the 4 yrs weve worked together, we are 'equals' in that no supervision. I have shared many enjoyable 'light' conversations with her as well as any other co-workers at the workplace. Weve been friendly towards each other and thats it. Truth is, I am lonely but can find just being friends with her and need to develope friendships with both men and women as I've always been a loner except for the wife and kids.
I do hesitate approaching her because I'm not sure if she would think I'm interested romantically. Shes a very nice sweet young lady and I wouldnt want to hurt her in any way or even make her uncomfortable around me.
Thanks, I didnt plan on saying anything about the weight gain. In the 4 yrs weve worked together, we are 'equals' in that no supervision. I have shared many enjoyable 'light' conversations with her as well as any other co-workers at the workplace. Weve been friendly towards each other and thats it. Truth is, I am lonely but can find just being friends with her and need to develope friendships with both men and women as I've always been a loner except for the wife and kids.
I do hesitate approaching her because I'm not sure if she would think I'm interested romantically. Shes a very nice sweet young lady and I wouldnt want to hurt her in any way or even make her uncomfortable around me.
Maybe something a little self-deprecating? Like "I"m not being a creepy old man, but would you like to go biking sometime just for fun?" My friendships with older men have generally been very jokey, so that wouldn't set off any red flags for me.
Or maybe bill it like YOU need the exercise - maybe be indirect about it, if you're uncertain. I'm not a fan of indirectness, but if you don't have the lay of the land, perhaps say something like "Do you have any ideas where I could go for a nice relaxing bike ride? I need to start exercising." Then ask her if she'd like to join you or something.
Whatever approach you opt for, I would say to make sure YOU are completely comfortable with it. If your gut says it's a bad idea, don't do it. It's always so tricky with co-workers. Honestly, I was always a bit naive, so it never occurred to me that those nice older guys who wanted to hang out would want anything further. Thankfully, they never DID want anything further - generally I remind them of their daughters, lol. But my father was 45 when I was born, and I spent my childhood hanging out with him and his lifelong friends. I'm comfortable in that kind of group.
How does this sound: Hey, look I really am interested in getting some exercise and since I know you know Savannah (she grew up and finished her undergrad and grad school there) and I was wondering if you'd like to get together for to ride bikes or do some walking in the parks ?
The other question I have is that I wouldnt mind walking around from the historic areas and including a ferry ride across the river to do more walking exploring of the island across the riverfront area. You see, where I have lived I love to just get out and explore and I really prefer to do it with someone's company although Ive alot of things alone when I was younger. In the talks Ive had with this younger woman over the past few years, I get the impression she is rather soft spoken, on the quiet side until she gets comfortable with you. It took a while before she would open up but know she laughs at my light humor and joking. Her life seems to revolve around work, living with her mother who she seems to help by living with her, and perhaps church and her grown siblings. I dont think she dates or has much of a social life which is surprising because she is quite a nice young lady. As I said before, I could enjoy some company doing things that I enjoy like cycling, kayaking, fishing, range shooting, hunting, walking/hiking trails and sightseeing but I dont want to come on like we are now dating.
Let me see, younger attractive woman who you want to ask out, but you have "No romantic intentions"?
I know how we males think. Don't kid yourself and us.
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