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DUDE, we are on the same wavelength! I'm 24 and this has been the story of my life so far.
Hey, look at the bright side, you are in a bigger city and probably have more options for women. I, on the other hand, live in the rural midwest where it seems everyone's already taken by 22. Hell, at my current job, there was a girl who was either 20 or 21 at the time, and she was already freaking married
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soilworker1986
Hey, look at the bright side, you are in a bigger city and probably have more options for women. I, on the other hand, live in the rural midwest where it seems everyone's already taken by 22. Hell, at my current job, there was a girl who was either 20 or 21 at the time, and she was already freaking married
I can understand. I was in Kentucky until two months ago. Every decent girl was taken it seemed like.
Hey, look at the bright side, you are in a bigger city and probably have more options for women. I, on the other hand, live in the rural midwest where it seems everyone's already taken by 22. Hell, at my current job, there was a girl who was either 20 or 21 at the time, and she was already freaking married
Yup. Living in the midwest is terrible if you're not living in a city.
In the town I live in, most people are either married or elderly or...I guess gay also since I see more gay single men than single down-to-Earth women.
And we do see people moving here all the time. The people who move here? married folks, and old people. I love and hate this town so much.
Well, when I met my husband - I was engaged. Sometimes being "taken" isn't really the end.
This is a really good point. A lot of people have moral qualms about busting up a relationship, much less an engagement, but "all's fair in love and war" as somebody said a very long time ago. This would make a good thread topic; are people in relationships fair game? Very controversial, and yet good matches do sometimes come out of messy circumstances. My sister-in-law was in a relationship when she met my brother. I didn't get the details of what happened, only hints that it was very messy, but they're happy now, two kids, doing great.
Yup. Living in the midwest is terrible if you're not living in a city.
In the town I live in, most people are either married or elderly or...I guess gay also since I see more gay single men than single down-to-Earth women.
And we do see people moving here all the time. The people who move here? married folks, and old people. I love and hate this town so much.
Yeah, this sounds identical to where I live, except the gay men part is debatable. Actually, where I live is strange in the sense that in my county, there's two main cities of 20,000 people. The one I live is basically a rust belt/hick town and then the other city right next door is kind of a hick town, but then it has a medium sized state school, so there's about 10,000 college kids there too. At my age (26), I'm starting to get too old for the college crowd, and then in my hometown, no real point there because the dating pool (or lack thereof) is extremely shallow, and any girl that's worthwhile is already taken. Current plan is get my degree, certifications this coming spring, and hopefully get the hell out of this area.
then feeling like you connect with someone, attraction wise, personality wise, common interests, but the other person for whatever reason whether they are emotionally unavailable, taken, or whatever doesnt see you in the same light?
No idea why you should feel that way. Maybe you are young or something and haven't realized that when you observe or communicate with others what you "see" is nothing but a reflection of your perceptions. As such what you see is not necessarily true since it's like looking at yourself on a mirror.
See, you are seeing, hearing, or feeling... nothing more than what makes you either happy, unhappy, comfortable, uncomfortable, etc., as learned from childhood, and there aren't two people who feel 100% alike. Every person "sees" everything in life in accordance to their own experiences from childhood.
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then feeling like you connect with someone, attraction wise, personality wise, common interests, but the other person for whatever reason whether they are emotionally unavailable, taken, or whatever doesnt see you in the same light?
actually, there is something much more frustrating...
Try going through all that, entering a LTR based on the above connections, and then basically realize that you spent a lot of time with someone who was going through the motions, and had serious commitment issues. I would rather see the bf walk up, so I can easily walk away with little investment, vs. be led to believe someone is connecting with you for a LTR and find it it was mostly a lie.
Chalk up those moments of brief connections with woman as a fun moment or five, and a learning experience as to what you are looking for in a s/o.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
This is a really good point. A lot of people have moral qualms about busting up a relationship, much less an engagement, but "all's fair in love and war" as somebody said a very long time ago. This would make a good thread topic; are people in relationships fair game? Very controversial, and yet good matches do sometimes come out of messy circumstances. My sister-in-law was in a relationship when she met my brother. I didn't get the details of what happened, only hints that it was very messy, but they're happy now, two kids, doing great.
Honestly, this is something I just would not do for two reasons.
1. If two people dig each other and decide they have built commitment to each other, that ain't my place to bust it up. And even if I do take the girl from the other guy, what does it say about her that she walked away from someone only because something that seems better came along? How do I know she ain't gonna do it to me if the opportunity arises?
2. The other guy may raise major issues with it. The guy could be out to blow my head off or other bad stuff. Plus I don't want the other guy's pain from the breakup on my conscience knowing I caused it.
happened to me only once years ago. She was in a LTR when i met her. They split a week after, And we tried to start a relationship. She told me she did not want to lead me on and was not ready, And I respected that. We became friends and stayed so for a few years until I lost contact with her. Man it hurt but I appreciated her being honest. I was in my early 20's then.
Experience is the Armour and sword of life. We learn hopefully.
then feeling like you connect with someone, attraction wise, personality wise, common interests, but the other person for whatever reason whether they are emotionally unavailable, taken, or whatever doesnt see you in the same light?
I think that just making it to the toilet and finding no paper in there runs it pretty close with regards to frustrating.
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