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With all this online dating, or however you are meeting the people you date, how often are you dating the same person if you decide to give them a 2d or 3rd or etc. date?
For example:
I while back I knew a woman who explained their 6 man rotation to me. She dated a couple guys during the weekdays, usually first time dates. Then there would be a 2nd or 3rd date with the same guy on a Friday or Saturday. She would spend the other weekend evening with friends. Then a sunday lunch or dnner date with some other first time date. Sometimes a guy would wait 2 weeks for that 2nd or 3rd date.
I recently went on a couple dates with a woman. There were not fireworks by any means, but both dates were a good time. I took her out both times, and kept it a little casual, as I am learning that the first few dates with online dating need to be just that, casual.
We went on a date 1 about 3 weeks ago. She didn't follow up with "thank you I had a good time" text or call. In fact, I had to contact her to establish further communication. Then date #2 happened last friday night (a full 9 days ago). Again, we had a good time, but nothing great. And again, she didnt follow up with a text or call until Tuesday during her lunch break at work. And even that was a text, then I responded, then 10 minutes later she responds, then I responded, then 15 minutes later she responds, and so on. On Thursday I contacted her, and we talked and I set up a date for today (sunday). She seemed interested in a 3rd date, and even offered to buy me dinner since I had won the game of mini golf we played on date #2.
She basically flakes out on the date today. I texted her around 2pm, and just said "hi, looks like we won't be meeting up today." She responds with "yea, sorry, the weekend went by quick for me."
IMO, she wasn't very interested, cause if she was, she would have texted or called me more then the 2 or three times total. I am OK with this. I pretty much have my mind made up that although she said she was interested, and we made plans, her actions didn't match her words. I texted her back saying it didn't seem like she had much time for dating, and I wished her well.
How many of you that are just dating are on a schedule like this? I tend to think that if you are sincerely interested in someone, you will put in more effort and energy into seeing that person again. Or, has dating become THIS casual? Or is this more of a trend more exclusive to online dating?
The frequency of how often I see them depends on the guy. Like the guy I went out with for 4 months, all the time is coz he kept on asking me out and making plans to see each other twice a week.
I always have 1 meets coz I am not the type to contact them first after the meet. And apparently so are most guys I meet or they just didn't feel the 'spark'.
Speaking of sparks I dont know if I've gone fugly but so far 2 men I met as recently as today are the cheapest of them all. Did not even offer to buy a drink while we chat?
If i'm interested it will be typically 2 or 3 days before I try to make plans again. Actually most of the time I would like to call the next day, but I am trying not to be all up in their face. If there was no chemistry or whatever I will usually send an email and thank them, but let them know that I just didn't feel a connection. I do that simply out of respect for them because I don't want them to waste their time that could be better spent on someone else.
I don't make life that complicated. If I like a guy, I date him. I call him when I feel like it and I hope he does the same.
The guy I've been seeing has been really great about keeping in contact, but also keeping it casual. He doesn't blow up my phone, nor does he disappear long enough for me to wonder if he's not interested.
It was 4 weeks or so between our first date and second because I injured myself, but we've been on a few since then in the last couple of weeks. No schedule. I happen to really like him so if he wanted to go out every night, I'd be all about it.
I don't make life that complicated. If I like a guy, I date him. I call him when I feel like it and I hope he does the same.
The guy I've been seeing has been really great about keeping in contact, but also keeping it casual. He doesn't blow up my phone, nor does he disappear long enough for me to wonder if he's not interested.
It was 4 weeks or so between our first date and second because I injured myself, but we've been on a few since then in the last couple of weeks. No schedule. I happen to really like him so if he wanted to go out every night, I'd be all about it.
Nope Averageguy, if I like him or I am interested in him I will text, call, date and make plans. Things do come up but manners come in to play.
This does seem to be along the lines of what I was thinking. I do understand that caution should be used so that someone isn't overwelmed, but when she texted me today, she said "maybe we can try to do something next weekend" That would be 3 dates over a 6 week time span, and maybe some people do enjoy this kind of casual dating, I was hoping for something more along the lines of once a week, and maybe a phone call or two a week as well.
Oh well, she was a good person, just obviously wasn't very interested. Some of my other friends say that when they have a successful date or two, the woman is texting them almost daily just to say hello or what not.
I was just curious if this was maybe becoming a trend.
This does seem to be along the lines of what I was thinking. I do understand that caution should be used so that someone isn't overwelmed, but when she texted me today, she said "maybe we can try to do something next weekend" That would be 3 dates over a 6 week time span, and maybe some people do enjoy this kind of casual dating, I was hoping for something more along the lines of once a week, and maybe a phone call or two a week as well.
Oh well, she was a good person, just obviously wasn't very interested. Some of my other friends say that when they have a successful date or two, the woman is texting them almost daily just to say hello or what not.
I was just curious if this was maybe becoming a trend.
The one guy that I was dating texted me a lot and let me choose what to do in the beginning on weekend dates. Then after 3 he chose. We did the American Band stand dancing, Sports bar, Saw the Mummy 3 movie, took me to a fancy restraunt, showed me he was caring and helped the boy scouts carwash, met his brother and cousin, and toured his very nice house. He did pretty fancy ponds at houses and was a Math teacher. He always had flowers for me when I was getting into his car.
This does seem to be along the lines of what I was thinking. I do understand that caution should be used so that someone isn't overwelmed, but when she texted me today, she said "maybe we can try to do something next weekend" That would be 3 dates over a 6 week time span, and maybe some people do enjoy this kind of casual dating, I was hoping for something more along the lines of once a week, and maybe a phone call or two a week as well.
Oh well, she was a good person, just obviously wasn't very interested. Some of my other friends say that when they have a successful date or two, the woman is texting them almost daily just to say hello or what not.
I was just curious if this was maybe becoming a trend.
It's hard to judge so I feel your pain. She might not be interested and stringing you along or she could be VERY interested and just busy. Communication is key and don't be afraid to ask questions after 6 weeks of dating. I would tend think that she's just busy if she's still willing to go out with you after this long. My 2 cents.
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