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This is something that has been irking me for years. Why is it so hard for people to comprehend that just because someone may struggle and suck in one part of their life that it automatically means that they fail at every single aspect of life? If they lack confidence in one part of their lives means that they lack it in all other areas?
Everyone knows the stereotype of the old male virgin who lives in his parents basement and for some it's true but just because someone is an older virgin is it right or fair to assume that they are or are going to spend the rest of their lives living with their parents?
Hell I've seen guys who get laid all the time but really have no ambition or goals and live with their mom well into their 30's. Their usually scumbags and thugs who do nothing but smoke weed all day but they really get little to no flack.
Yeah this is a rant but it's just something that's been picking at me for a long time.
So my question I guess is that if someone strikes out at dating does that mean they will be failures at all other aspects of their lives?
This is something that has been irking me for years. Why is it so hard for people to comprehend that just because someone may struggle and suck in one part of their life that it automatically means that they fail at every single aspect of life? If they lack confidence in one part of their lives means that they lack it in all other areas?
Everyone knows he old stereotype of the old male virgin who lives in his parents basement and for some it's true but just because someone is an older virgin is it right or fair to assume that they are or are going to spend the rest of their lives living with their parents?
Hell I've seen guys who get laid all the time but really have no ambition or goals and live with their mom well into their 30's. Their usually scumbags and thugs who do nothing but smoke weed all day but they really get little to no flack.
Yeah this is a rant but it's just something that's been picking at me for a long time.
So my question I guess is that if someone strikes out at dating does that mean they will be failures at all other aspects of their lives?
Absolutely not and anyone who thinks so is a 'loser'.
Seriously... dating is a completely different game than most other 'games' in life and it would be not only unfair but also erroneous to make the conclusion you've presented to the class.
Absolutely NOT. Dating is hard for me because I'm picky. I want to find someone who I spark with, who makes me happy to be around, has the same life goals as me, and I have to find that person when they are also single and ready to be in a relationship. Dating is hard in general...some people are so bad at communicating or the timing is off. There are a lot of reasons some people have trouble with dating and it isn't because they're a loser.
Being in a relationship shouldn't be the measure of success for a person's life. Any idiot can be in a relationship. Any idiot can get laid, get married, have kids...anyone can do it! Seriously. And look at all the people in relationships who are totally miserable and unhappy. Being single doesn't mean being a loser. Never let anyone make you feel that way!
This is something that has been irking me for years. Why is it so hard for people to comprehend that just because someone may struggle and suck in one part of their life that it automatically means that they fail at every single aspect of life? If they lack confidence in one part of their lives means that they lack it in all other areas?
Everyone knows the stereotype of the old male virgin who lives in his parents basement and for some it's true but just because someone is an older virgin is it right or fair to assume that they are or are going to spend the rest of their lives living with their parents?
Hell I've seen guys who get laid all the time but really have no ambition or goals and live with their mom well into their 30's. Their usually scumbags and thugs who do nothing but smoke weed all day but they really get little to no flack.
Yeah this is a rant but it's just something that's been picking at me for a long time.
So my question I guess is that if someone strikes out at dating does that mean they will be failures at all other aspects of their lives?
Never let someone else dictate to you if you are successful or a loser. There will be people that try to do things like this all the time....ignore them.
P.S. As you get older, things change in terms of *general* acceptability. The 26yo pot smoking x-box guy is only "cool" for so long. Wait until they are 40....the definitions change....and keep changing.
Lastly, if you suck at something in life, you have to work at it. Dating is NO different than any other learned skill. Whining about how others perceive or treat you isn't going to fix things.
Never let someone else dictate to you if you are successful or a loser. There will be people that try to do things like this all the time....ignore them.
P.S. As you get older, things change in terms of *general* acceptability. The 26yo pot smoking x-box guy is only "cool" for so long. Wait until they are 40....the definitions change....and keep changing.
Lastly, if you suck at something in life, you have to work at it. Dating is NO different than any other learned skill. Whining about how others perceive or treat you isn't going to fix things.
Maybe I should slap some sense into these people though. Is it really that hard to think that people are complex?
This is something that has been irking me for years. Why is it so hard for people to comprehend that just because someone may struggle and suck in one part of their life that it automatically means that they fail at every single aspect of life? If they lack confidence in one part of their lives means that they lack it in all other areas?
Everyone knows the stereotype of the old male virgin who lives in his parents basement and for some it's true but just because someone is an older virgin is it right or fair to assume that they are or are going to spend the rest of their lives living with their parents?
Hell I've seen guys who get laid all the time but really have no ambition or goals and live with their mom well into their 30's. Their usually scumbags and thugs who do nothing but smoke weed all day but they really get little to no flack.
Yeah this is a rant but it's just something that's been picking at me for a long time.
So my question I guess is that if someone strikes out at dating does that mean they will be failures at all other aspects of their lives?
I have a happily married co-worker who was constantly telling me meeting someone cannot possibly be as hard as I make it sound. That I have to know someone who has a brother, cousin, friend etc. they could introduce me to. Her hubby works in a male oriented field so I finally asked if he had any single, non-smoking co-workers between the ages of 30-45. It's been two months. I'm still waiting for her to get back to me. Same with the other happily married friend who has been keeping her eye out for me for about three months now.
I haven't had a date in 2 years. However, I am college educated, have a decent job in an unstable economy, my own home, drive a nice car, and I have the best friends a girl could ask for. If this is the definition of a loser, I'll gladly take it!
So my question I guess is that if someone strikes out at dating does that mean they will be failures at all other aspects of their lives?
Why would it? People are idiots; the less you listen to them, the better off you'll be.
And rabbit is right; dating is completely different from work and other areas of life. NW girl is right, too. With all the factors that have to line up to find a compatible couple, it's a miracle anyone manages to get together (not to mention: stay together). Don't beat yourself up.
Like everyone, so far has stated, no, your dating success or lack there of, isn't the determining factor as to whether or not someone is some kind of loser. It's up to you to be your own compass as to setting the bar for what life's successes are, not what others choose to set the bar at. Whatever you feel or think would mean success, you find a way to accomplish it at a pace that is in line with your abilities and outlook on life. If a relationship is something that you feel is high up on the priority list, that's ok too, but then, one figures out what's keeping them from accomplishing their goals in that area and turns it around if able, but that's one difficult area for most to master. No one should feel less than if they often find themselves with Ben and Jerry as a mate on a Friday night. Swear I'm not projecting.
Never let someone else dictate to you if you are successful or a loser. There will be people that try to do things like this all the time....ignore them.
P.S. As you get older, things change in terms of *general* acceptability. The 26yo pot smoking x-box guy is only "cool" for so long. Wait until they are 40....the definitions change....and keep changing.
Lastly, if you suck at something in life, you have to work at it. Dating is NO different than any other learned skill. Whining about how others perceive or treat you isn't going to fix things.
I'm sorry but I vehemently disagree with this. It is not correct to assume that 'dating' is a 'skill' akin to learning another language or a sport or a musical instrument.
Why is that? I have the answer but I will leave it open for discussion.
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