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Have you ever been with someone that said just about everything right... that had a lot of things in common with you and how you like your relationship and life be it home body or party goer?
But then did that someone start changing and slowly the common interests and goals seem nothing like your own. And he or she pretends not to even remember saying those things?
Then changes start appearing.
And then finally the truth comes out. All the things said weren't really how he/she felt.
What do you do?
I mean you started having feelings for this person and turns out you were being duped.
Do you try to see if you can deal with this new persona or do you leave with your wtf face and disbelief?
Why on earth would you stay with anyone who duped you? Think about what else you could be duped with in the future. No brainer, leave! Life is too short for games and spending time with people who don't have any of the same common interests or goals.
I don't think I've ever been in your shoes. However, my spouse has a certain way he lives his life and interacts with other people, he can assert himself and won't let others take advantage of him or put him on guilt trips. Around his own family(parents etc.), he would often act quite differently...that was hard for me to figure out.
That's what you do.^^^ There are people out there who are like con artists. They want to get with you, so they'll say whatever they have to say to convince you they're the right person for you. But they can't keep up an act 24/7, inconsistencies start showing, between their behavior and their words. Then, like you say, they start forgetting all the little white lies, they can't keep track of 'em all. Eventually, you find yourself holding a bag of empty words.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 08-27-2012 at 11:48 AM..
The last guy I ever dated with any regularity. It took about 3 months to reveal that he
1) was sexually repressed
2) had homicidal thoughts about his ex
3) was a terrible father
4) wanted to shoot up government buildings and murder lawyers
5) hated my dog. DEALBREAKER!!
Have you ever been with someone that said just about everything right... that had a lot of things in common with you and how you like your relationship and life be it home body or party goer?
But then did that someone start changing and slowly the common interests and goals seem nothing like your own. And he or she pretends not to even remember saying those things?
Then changes start appearing.
And then finally the truth comes out. All the things said weren't really how he/she felt.
What do you do?
I mean you started having feelings for this person and turns out you were being duped.
Do you try to see if you can deal with this new persona or do you leave with your wtf face and disbelief?
There is another thread going on right now, where a woman dated a guy for seven months, didn't give him any sex, but strung him along just as you describe, only to find out "she wasn't that into him".
In all seriousness, I think there are two types that fit this catagory. There are true con-artists. If you have one of these, then run, run as fast as you can. But more likely, people WANT to be what they think people want them to be. I'm an optimist, I don't think most people are trying to con you. I think they see someone that they are attracted to, and they try to focus on what they have in common. Over time, they realize that it wasn't enough, and the rest of the truth starts coming out.
I can readily admit that I struggle with this myself sometimes. At least I have recently started identifying it more quickly, and I try to have a reality check. First with myself, and then with whoever else is involved. It ain't easy, but I think it's the right thing to do.
The last guy I ever dated with any regularity. It took about 3 months to reveal that he
1) was sexually repressed
2) had homicidal thoughts about his ex
3) was a terrible father
4) wanted to shoot up government buildings and murder lawyers
5) hated my dog. DEALBREAKER!!
Sounds like a keeper to me.
Cept for number 5, that's just horrible.
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