when dating or in relationship, how often do you... (Asian, how to, men)
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Why wouldn't it? Why would "dating" be defined as sharing a meal?
I always considered it more formal than just 'hanging out'. And more then likely, I am not paying for your meal cause you are a good friend (especially if i just met you)...
But maybe I have been 'trying TOO hard'. Or possibly that is how I come off. But i have always approached it somewhat casual.
That dating style worked well for about 3 relationships that were at least somewhat serious. But it doesnt work most the time, and it is getting expensive...especially with online dating frequencies.
Friday, Saturday Sunday we go out on dates. Monday-Thursday we're too busy to see each other so we pack our weekends with dinners, sporting events and travel.
I would guess about 90% of my dates are similiar tothe bolded. Either a resautarnt, or I cook a meal. And I pay A LOT of the time. EDIT: Oh, and a lot of time an after dinner activity is included. Mini golf, a comedy club, a movie at the theatre...
I am finding that this isnt really helping me out though. In fact, it may be hurting me. I know there are people out there that will be wined and dined without being interested in the other person. I think being 'romantic', if that is what taking someone to dinner is considered has not increased the likelyhood that a woman would be interested in me romantically.
I am considering a severe change to my dating style. I am considering eliminating dinner dates and cooking for someone untill the 5th or 6th date. The first two dates will be very casual, ice cream, coffee, maybe mini golf, some sort of cheap, quick activity. Then dates 3,4,5 would be hanging out at one of our homes/ more cheap but fun activities.
Problem is, I dont know if the woman will appreciate that kind of stuff.
But spending 60-80 on a dinner date for 1st, 2nd dates, while everyone is serial dating is expensive and proabably not worth the 'formal dinner' experience. Maybe casual is better.... anyone take this approach ?
I think this is a good approach. Any decent woman with good intentions will have no problem keeping it casual for the first few dates. A really awesome woman will offer to pay half. I do not expect a guy to take me out to an 80 dollar dinner on the first or second date. That's a LOT of money especially when he has no guarantee he'll ever even see her again. I actually heard a woman I know say she loves online dating because she can go out and get free dinner several nights a week. Don't be that guy. The woman who does the things I first mentioned will be beyond thrilled and appreciative when later you do take out for a nice dinner.
OP, you're really overdoing it for dates. There's no need for expensive dinners, or any dinners, until you feel motivated out of care and serious "like" for a woman, to treat her to something like that. It should be a treat, something special, rather than something ordinary. Once you make it ordinary, you open that up to being taken for granted.
Women love museum dates, walking-in-the-park, boating or skating dates, art gallery-hopping dates, hiking dates, hanging out at home over tea/coffee and a nice long chat dates, free outdoor concert or art/craft fair dates, etc. Someone posted on an earlier thread here that what got her attention about her husband-to-be was that on their first date, he took her to a science center or aquarium, or something. She said it was really different from what she'd experienced before, and she loved it.
RE: online dating dates--the advice I've seen given to women is that they go for a short coffee or lunch date first, for various reasons. So I don't think women expect an expensive first date, and it's obviously not financially practical for guys, either.
OP, you're really overdoing it for dates. There's no need for expensive dinners, or any dinners, until you feel motivated out of care and serious "like" for a woman, to treat her to something like that. It should be a treat, something special, rather than something ordinary. Once you make it ordinary, you open that up to being taken for granted.
Women love museum dates, walking-in-the-park, boating or skating dates, art gallery-hopping dates, hiking dates, hanging out at home over tea/coffee and a nice long chat dates, free outdoor concert or art/craft fair dates, etc. Someone posted on an earlier thread here that what got her attention about her husband-to-be was that on their first date, he took her to a science center or aquarium, or something. She said it was really different from what she'd experienced before, and she loved it.
RE: online dating dates--the advice I've seen given to women is that they go for a short coffee or lunch date first, for various reasons. So I don't think women expect an expensive first date, and it's obviously not financially practical for guys, either.
As often as possible. Right now, we work differing schedules and I'm in grad school. We're lucky if we have morning coffee together once or twice a week. But there's still something special about dinner and a movie, just the two of us.
Agree, these days, the most boring thing I can here is I'd like take you out to dinner. Most of what RFT suggested would be much better alternatives depending on the person. But different types of environments appeal to different people and some loath anything to do with the outdoors.
If you have a romantic interest in a woman, she should have no question as to your intentions, as long as you are direct enough about them. It doesnt matter if a meal is included or not, if you meet and go out together, consider it a date (if you have the need to label things). Also when you ask her out instead of saying "you wouldnt mind going to a dinner date with me tomorrow night, would you?" say "im going to Charlie Trotters restaurant tomorrow night. its a great place and I think you would really like it. i would like you to come with me." its alot more confident and harder to shoot down.
Maybe I'm weird, but that forcefulness would make me feel really uncomfortable and I would probably say no thank you. Being too confident and too 'suave' sends up a million red flags for me that all read 'player'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006
THIS is what I'm talking about.
If I could find a woman that appreciated this, that would be ideal.
Maybe I'm weird, but that forcefulness would make me feel really uncomfortable and I would probably say no thank you. Being too confident and too 'suave' sends up a million red flags for me that all read 'player'.
Hey, we're out here
IME, not many woman FROM the area around here is like this. The only way is if they are from another state. I'm sure there are some women like that around, but they are probably already married. Guys that meet these are wise enough to figure out a good thing when they find it.
If someone invited me to Charlie Trotter's for the following night, I'd assume the other party in their reservation had cancelled and I was their second choice! It's not exactly a place you just drop in to.
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