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Been married 44-years, so no direct experience with ex's, but, from a counseling perspective I've found that until one person gets past blaming the other person for everything ... they can't get-on with the healthy healing part of recognizing and accepting their own share of responsibility.
While I don't have hatred for my ex, at this point, I have no desire to contact him, and would not enjoy running into him in public. It could happen, easily, but it hasn't, yet.
My ex girlfriend hates me because I didn't like that she cheated on me with 12 guys while we dated for a year. Only a true hoe would do that. I'd rather watch her get hit by a steam roller than give a damn about her again. There are very few women I consider to be hoes, but she earned the status all by herself.
I read a post on here from someone that mentioned something to the effect of their ex pretty much hates them.
I think most of us have had a bad break up or two.
My first relatioship ended with a bad argument, and we spoke three days later on a much better note, but that bad arguement is kind of how I always defined the ending. (as it was the catalyst for the ending, but nicer arguement). That was a long time ago, and I learned along the way, that those feeling can be controlsd by so many different methods. In the end, her and I were not a good fit, especially at that time in our lives. How often do you, or do you see that bad arguement between 2 people whether it be family, or friends that just ends BADLY. And maybe they are good people, but for whatever reason, they just seem to aggitate each other/ push each others buttons ?My last relationship ended badly, but more in a way that the actions spoke so loud, and were hurtful. When the final conversation happened, we said little, and ended the relationship, as there was no desire to salvage ANYTHING. If I saw her out and about, I would honestly act like she was a stranger, and defineatly not approach her to say hi. If she approached me, I would be polite, but I would be brief, EXTREMELY brief.
My Ex is always drunk out of his mind or stoned on pot so how in the hell would he know WHO he likes and doesn't like let alone hate them???
My ex girlfriend hates me because I didn't like that she cheated on me with 12 guys while we dated for a year. Only a true hoe would do that. I'd rather watch her get hit by a steam roller than give a damn about her again. There are very few women I consider to be hoes, but she earned the status all by herself.
I don't like the word hate - it's such a strong word and I think truly being over someone means you're indifferent. So, I wouldn't stay I hate my ex, but I definitely do not like or respect him. He cheated on me, he lied to me, he led me on and wasted my time. It took me a long time to get over what he did to me and be happy again, and I definitely learned some hard lessons from him that I don't think I'll ever forget. If he called me right now and asked for help I would say no. I'm not sure how he feels about me. He doesn't have any reason to hate me, but who knows. He did a lot of things that didn't make any sense.
I agree that an intense hatred for an ex can be a red flag when you're seeing someone. I think knowing what went wrong in someone's past relationships is important to know when you want to get serious with someone, but I really prefer to know someone pretty well before I talk about the past. It's very personal to me.
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