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I think I'd skip over that profile. I think two people in a relationship should be equal in the sense that they are equally contributing to the relationship and betterment of one another. But I think really whatever dynamic both people are happy with is fine. My great grandmother was a very submissive wife. She let my great grandfather make all the decisions, she didn't work outside the home, she did all the cleaning and cooking, but I never heard her complain and I never felt like she was unhappy. She liked being submissive, she liked someone else making the decisions, so that worked for them. I know other relationships where the woman calls all the shots and the guy seems to like it that way.
I think I'd skip over that profile. I think two people in a relationship should be equal in the sense that they are equally contributing to the relationship and betterment of one another. But I think really whatever dynamic both people are happy with is fine. My great grandmother was a very submissive wife. She let my great grandfather make all the decisions, she didn't work outside the home, she did all the cleaning and cooking, but I never heard her complain and I never felt like she was unhappy. She liked being submissive, she liked someone else making the decisions, so that worked for them. I know other relationships where the woman calls all the shots and the guy seems to like it that way.
No, they seek men who are EQUALS. Men who don't have huge egos and feel the need to dominate those around them to feel like 'real men'.
What do you consider feminine? Sitting around all day not being able to take a **** without her man's approval?
Not, JetJockey, I have been in a big corporate long enough to meet some of these sharks in skirts. Some of them really impressive from a:"organizational perspective" - great managers. But also they all have huge egos, they have to lead. When you work all day in high speed mode when you go home you want to relax not face opposition or a "partner". You want tranquility and peace.
Women in these positions don't have time to be mothers and wives. They need the guy to pick up the slack or they simply stay single until it is too late. I have seen it.
I think I'd skip over that profile. I think two people in a relationship should be equal in the sense that they are equally contributing to the relationship and betterment of one another. But I think really whatever dynamic both people are happy with is fine. My great grandmother was a very submissive wife. She let my great grandfather make all the decisions, she didn't work outside the home, she did all the cleaning and cooking, but I never heard her complain and I never felt like she was unhappy. She liked being submissive, she liked someone else making the decisions, so that worked for them. I know other relationships where the woman calls all the shots and the guy seems to like it that way.
There are guys who like women to call the shots as they have no ability to do it themselves or are too lazy. I have friends like this too. I also know woemen who complain about their husbands being so passive than they have to take the initiative when it comes to decisions or money.
I don't think this is a good senario.
Why does anyone have to lead? Why can't the relationship be a partnership? I think a lot of people are more concerned about having the last word and the upper hand, than being with someone in any form or fashion.
Leadership should be shared, based on experience, expertise and qualification. Some people do not want to lead, for whatever reason. Some are either apathetic or would rather not shoulder the "blame" if something doesn't turn out right. Some people have to be in constant control. It's simply their personality!
Some people are researchers, some are simply fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants kind of people. They'd rather remain ignorant so that they don't have to make decisions. I've rarely met couples, who have one person making all of the decisions, who are truly happy, behind the scenes. Generally, there is a sense of hopelessness and powerlessness. Most happy, successful relationships that I've seen, are not based on submission/dominance. They are based on mutual understanding that each of them have their strengths and weaknesses. They are mutual leaders and each knows when to stand back and let their partner shine!
Not, JetJockey, I have been in a big corporate long enough to meet some of these sharks in skirts. Some of them really impressive from a:"organizational perspective" - great managers. But also they all have huge egos, they have to lead. When you work all day in high speed mode when you go home you want to relax not face opposition or a "partner". You want tranquility and peace.
Women in these positions don't have time to be mothers and wives. They need the guy to pick up the slack. I have seen it.
Yes, but you see.....you could be talking about a woman who spends her day in HIGH-SPEED-MODE here as well....whether at work or on the home front. The last thing a busy mother, with small children and tons of things she's trying to do all day, wants to deal with, is a man who comes home and starts telling her what to do....or expect to be waited on. It's kind of fun....watching things change hands in today's world.
More men are having to be "house dads" and getting to see how "little women have to do all day". Funny how many of those men still wait for the woman to get home and make dinner....or pick up something on the way home. Gosh, women were expected to have a home-cooked-from-scratch-meal on the table when hubby got home, but many of these men can't manage the task, when left at home with a bunch of small children. Hmmmm Why is that? After all, it's not as if SAHMs do anything all day.
I know quite a few women who would be more than happy to fill that role, but I also hope that man understands that he must fill his traditional role and support her 100% financially.
^^^^ I agree with some of this. Some women would stand behind this 100%, as long as they get "taken care of". Look how many households are out there with a stay at home mom(after the children are all in school, sometimes even middle school-lol). They are homemakers, and being fully supported by their husband/mate. **Side note: nothing is wrong with being a stay-at-home mom, I was one, but you are being supported by the man during that time**
As a Christian, there are roles, placed by the Bible...neither is lower or higher than another, and it's absolutely not about power, money or importance. It's more of a general positive flow. It's a lot about respect and love.
NOW on the other hand, As this guy is putting it out there the way that he is on a dating profile...NOooo Way!! Then in the same breath he is claiming Christian, but willing (and once again puts it out there) that he'll have sex upon meeting....Something is wrong here. This shows HUGE red flags of wanting to be "in control", saying that his expectations are A, B, & C...but he's willing to have a one night stand/sex on the first date, nor does he "put out there" what he's about, what he has to offer, etc. THIS GUY IS A HUGE STANDING RED FLAG!!!!
^^^^ I agree with some of this. Some women would stand behind this 100%, as long as they get "taken care of". Look how many households are out there with a stay at home mom(after the children are all in school, sometimes even middle school-lol). They are homemakers, and being fully supported by their husband/mate. **Side note: nothing is wrong with being a stay-at-home mom, I was one, but you are being supported by the man during that time**
As a Christian, there are roles, placed by the Bible...neither is lower or higher than another, and it's absolutely not about power, money or importance. It's more of a general positive flow. It's a lot about respect and love.
NOW on the other hand, As this guy is putting it out there the way that he is on a dating profile...NOooo Way!! Then in the same breath he is claiming Christian, but willing (and once again puts it out there) that he'll have sex upon meeting....Something is wrong here. This shows HUGE red flags of wanting to be "in control", saying that his expectations are A, B, & C...but he's willing to have a one night stand/sex on the first date, nor does he "put out there" what he's about, what he has to offer, etc. THIS GUY IS A HUGE STANDING RED FLAG!!!!
I see that we see eye to eye. Lol, and we apparently live in the same city! Go figure! (although I am not from Memphis, TN) I was born and raised in Nashville, TN.
DITTO all of what you said. All of it. Now if only you were a man, I would totally be interested. Totally Lol
Came across a profile online that at one point reads as follows:
"I am very romantic and believe in chivalry and traditional roles. Yes, read that again. I am a natural leader, fair, respectful and protective. I am seeking a submissive type woman.... Are there any feminine women left anymore... Makes me wonder. No get the negative cave man rhetoric out of your head. Women are to be respected, and appreciated, but in nature there is the natural order of things and men should lead and women be the strong support and partner."
Curious how many women here on C-D would give this dude the time of day. Dude's 40 years old. What adult woman who is a self-supporting adult would want to be some guy's sidekick rather than an equal partner in the relationship?
Oh yeah, and he's another Christian who's open to sleeping with someone on the first date I guess women's liberation is great when it means he's more likely to get his rocks off...
Definitely a pass.
This is an antiquated concept of relationships for the majority of society today. Even women of my generation had to work outside the home to help support the family but in other aspects were more traditional than the subsequent generations. Men somehow believed a women’s financial contribution didn’t count. Also looking at my grandmothers generation, many of the women, when it came down to it, made the decisions and led the family. It was just done in a way to make it appear their husband was the head of the household.
Now the majority of women have degrees and are making good salaries. They have lived on their own for years before entering a LTR and have made their own decisions and led themselves so I see less and less women being happy with a “traditional” relationship where she is no more than silent support for her husbands life.
If I had stayed with my first husband and been a traditional wife, we would have been living in the projects receiving welfare. Instead I went on to get my degree while raising my kids, got a good job and bought a home without financial assistance or leadership and decision making from a man.
Yes, but you see.....you could be talking about a woman who spends her day in HIGH-SPEED-MODE here as well....whether at work or on the home front. The last thing a busy mother, with small children and tons of things she's trying to do all day, wants to deal with, is a man who comes home and starts telling her what to do....or expect to be waited on. It's kind of fun....watching things change hands in today's world.
I am not talking about "coming home and telling the women what to do". We are not children. All I am saying is that there has to be someone who is the leader in major things, like finances or purchase decisions.
I made twice as much as my wife, should she be able to voice her opinion on my purchase decisions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel
More men are having to be "house dads" and getting to see how "little women have to do all day". Funny how many of those men still wait for the woman to get home and make dinner....or pick up something on the way home. Gosh, women were expected to have a home-cooked-from-scratch-meal on the table when hubby got home, but many of these men can't manage the task, when left at home with a bunch of small children. Hmmmm Why is that? After all, it's not as if SAHMs do anything all day.
Who is cooking from scratch in 2012? Do you even know what it means to cook from scratch??? LOL
I am a guy who can cook, I like to eat well and not be fat.
I know what it takes to cook a meal. Real meal not some hotdogs on a plate. Mash potatoes or baked potato + chicken cultlet and salad. Pasta and meatballs. Chicken Pad Thai. That's about 30 minutes tops and it takes as much time to cook for one as for three people. People are simply lazy and their parents did not teach them anything. Both men and women.
I am college grad and can do light carpentry and electric work. There are women nowadys who can't prepare a decent meal. After all, who said that women should know how to cook, right?
Everybody is complaining nowadays but with fridges, microwaves, washer/driers, dishwashers and packaged goods cooking does not take much. Washing clothes is not an issue yet when you listen to some women today you might believe that our grandparents did not have to cook from scratch or sweep floors with a broom or wash dishes in a sink.
The only time consuming aspect is actually taking care of the kids. I know it. Until they go to kindergarden that by itself is a full time job. I am a guy and have a son so it is easier, you can always go play catch or to the park.
Please don't tell me that in 2012 and with all the technology to your avail you can't do a job that our grandmothers did in 1912 with none of that tech and five or six children to add.
Its not easy to be a guy in 2012 and bring a pycheck home that covers mortgage and all expenses. It's not a walk in the part in the office. Appreciate the fact that you don't have to deal with stupid bosses and arogant clients and mornig rush hour. Sometimes I wish I could stay home.
Then again it is not my personality.
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I guess women's liberation is great when it means he's more likely to get his rocks off...