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A leader by definition has control of the group. Directs the group in action, direction, course of action.
Your couching it in terms of a benevolent dictatorship does not change the meaning or its implications.
I still believe that a lot of us do have misconceptions of being a leader.
I'm just sayin'.
I get what you are saying, though. A (good) leader does direct people in the right path...(through action at least as much as words)
"Why are you a scientist then, since theories can be disproven?"
There's nothing wrong with science. Science isn't so much about the theories IMO as it is the method to come up with them. When the facts change, science is updated. You can't update the bible to your progressive views. You either follow it 100% or 0%, it can't be in between.
A leader by definition has control of the group. Directs the group in action, direction, course of action.
Your couching it in terms of a benevolent dictatorship does not change the meaning or its implications.
That's an overly simplistic view. And I also never mentioned, or implied any form of "benevolent dictatorship." I think you are inserting your personal opinions into my statements.
I don't expect all men to be leaders - at work or at home. When I was dating, there is no way I would have handed over "leadership" to someone because they were male. I wasn't looking for leadership - I was looking for GOOD leadership.
As I said earlier,
Quote:
A true leader is quiet spoken, confident, and humble. A true leader works alongside those he leads, and leads by example. A true leader DELEGATES authority and builds up people on his team - showcases their talents, allows them to make their own decisions - he oversees the operations while allowing those he leads to excel and prosper and lead as well. He taps into their talents and learns from them. He doesn't have to strong arm anyone or throw his weight around. He works hard at allowing others to shine - he realizes that is the best testimony to his leadership.
I appreciate those traits and I respond well to those. In my professional life, and in volunteer positions, I have always risen quickly to positions of leadership, and settled very nicely into the role of "Vice President" - or "Sales Manager" - or "Manager" with a layer of management above me. In other words, I am a leader, but also a great team player who responds very well to strong, ethical leadership.
Leadership is earned - it is not an entitlement. And the right to leadership can be lost or forfeited as well.
In my opinion if women ruled the world and were the leaders of nations, statistically we would see far less war mongering, less needless posturing and much more cooperation leading to a better life for the worlds population as a whole.
In my opinion if women ruled the world and were the leaders of nations, statistically we would see far less war mongering, less needless posturing and much more cooperation leading to a better life for the worlds population as a whole.
You would think, but then there are certain days of the month where we might need to hide in the bomb shelter. LOL!
That's an overly simplistic view. And I also never mentioned, or implied any form of "benevolent dictatorship." I think you are inserting your personal opinions into my statements.
Leadership is earned - it is not an entitlement. And the right to leadership can be lost or forfeited as well.
Call it what you want, but any time someone (no matter how gentle or supposedly deserved) is given or handed or assumed to have the final word, that IS control. Leadership is about control. Period. Not just over others...you are right. You must also have it over yourself.
But the leader IS the final word, is IS his/her way or the highway (ultimately, regardless of what concessions you make), and it's not a dynamic I feel comfortable with in romantic relationships (certainly not in a relationship I would consider comprised of 'equals').
It's what I do every single day; I am the benevolent, thoughtful, lead-by-example type (though I admit, I really need to work on delegating/micromanaging). With me rests the final responsibility. The buck stops here. So with me rests the final word.
Like mountains says, to each their own. But I would not consider a relationship where there is an established leader one of equals. Because it's not.
Yes, and let's not forget that the Bible was translated BY men, FOR men, to BENEFIT men, from an old foreign language. We all know how oh so many men really suck at deciphering things that are not pointed out...in detail.....point blank. Inferences and innuendos are completely lost on most of them.
Golly...
We're so helpless and pathetic I can't understand why you gals haven't simply killed us all in our sleep (excepting, of course, the selected few for breeding stock).
Are... how to put this? I'll use your word...MOST of us just that selfish, egotistical, back-stabbing, ignorant, unsubtle and... how to put THIS?.... given to gross generalization which smacks of egocentrism, ignorance, lack of subtlety and a blatant lack of respect for the opposite sex?
Call it what you want, but any time someone (no matter how gentle or supposedly deserved) is given or handed or assumed to have the final word, that IS control. Leadership is about control. Period. Not just over others...you are right. You must also have it over yourself.
But the leader IS the final word, is IS his/her way or the highway (ultimately, regardless of what concessions you make), and it's not a dynamic I feel comfortable with in romantic relationships (certainly not in a relationship I would consider comprised of 'equals').
It's what I do every single day; I am the benevolent, thoughtful, lead-by-example type (though I admit, I really need to work on delegating/micromanaging). With me rests the final responsibility. The buck stops here. So with me rests the final word.
Like mountains says, to each their own. But I would not consider a relationship where there is an established leader one of equals. Because it's not.
I guess you will need to define "equality" in a relationship to me. It's not a quality that either my husband or I frankly give much thought to, because our relationship is not built upon "equality" or the maintenance of it - it's built upon mutual respect, appreciation, honesty and trust, open communication, and common values.
I can honestly say that we have never ONCE asked ourselves, or each other, "Are we equals?" In the context of our marriage, the question would seem ludicrous. It would seem about as useful as musing about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, or whether or not God can create a rock He cannot move.
Are we equally VALUABLE - is our inherent worth as a human being "equal?" Of course. Do we have "equal" talents, desires, tastes, priorities, etc.? Not exactly, though "equality" about those isn't a necessary component of respect for the other. Do we have equal (here's the biggie) AUTHORITY? I have my realms of authority and he has his, within the relationship. We have been together for seven years and I cannot recall a single time that he bossed me around, told me what to do, or vice versa. We offer suggestions, support, guidance, ideas, arguments for and against, an explanation of our feelings, etc when making decisions. We reach agreements. Occasionally one of us will concede to the other (both of us do this).
There are things that neither of us will tolerate in a relationship, so I guess if either of us did one of those things to the other, we'd have a bad situation or an impasse.
I ALLOW my husband to lead our family in many areas. He ALLOWS me to lead our family in many areas. I have no desire to tell him whether or not he can buy a boat, or give money to his 19 year old son for gas. He has no desire to tell me that he won't allow me to go visit my daughter in Virginia, or buy a pair of expensive stilettos.
Does it even matter if he has "more areas of authority" than I do? (I honestly don't know that he does - the question has never even crossed my mind since we work so well together.) If so, why?
So perhaps we are arguing needlessly about semantics when our goals in a relationship are more in agreement than we realize.
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 09-27-2012 at 05:02 PM..
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