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I read a post on here from someone that mentioned something to the effect of their ex pretty much hates them.
I think most of us have had a bad break up or two.
My first relatioship ended with a bad argument, and we spoke three days later on a much better note, but that bad arguement is kind of how I always defined the ending. (as it was the catalyst for the ending, but nicer arguement).
That was a long time ago, and I learned along the way, that those feeling can be controlsd by so many different methods. In the end, her and I were not a good fit, especially at that time in our lives.
How often do you, or do you see that bad arguement between 2 people whether it be family, or friends that just ends BADLY. And maybe they are good people, but for whatever reason, they just seem to aggitate each other/ push each others buttons ?
My last relationship ended badly, but more in a way that the actions spoke so loud, and were hurtful. When the final conversation happened, we said little, and ended the relationship, as there was no desire to salvage ANYTHING. If I saw her out and about, I would honestly act like she was a stranger, and defineatly not approach her to say hi. If she approached me, I would be polite, but I would be brief, EXTREMELY brief.
I HATE two guys I dated and in one case I am justified. In the first case the guy scammed me out of money and was a con artist. The second case he was a guy who was a friend yet went on to break my heart when he dumped me. I thought he would come back and he never did. Yet I kept waiting. Because of him I despise a lot of men, especially ugly men (he was ugly).
To me, it's a huge red flag when someone spews vitriol about their ex(s). It tells me they have unresolved issues that I want nothing to do with.
I only have one ex that I do not speak to and that is only because he had such a hard time with the break that I felt like I was stringing him along by keeping communication. He is a nice guy, but it's for the best.
Yea, I agree. The last gf I had for some reason told me about a bunch of her ex's. One of them in particular she mentioned every now and then.
I knew it was quite a red flag at the time(s), and chose to ignore it. ugh.
As idontdate mentioned, I think relationships like that do happen, and some, if not many relationships end on a bit of a bad note. I dont think the 'both sides felt it was for the best' happens very often.
Although, one person may be hurt MUCH more than the other, anger or hate towards the other person doesnt happen all the time, but dissappointingly (word?), it does happen.
I don't hate any of my exes. I have one who def acts as if he hates me. All my other exes I talk with to this day, though I have decided I am going to cut that short for their sake because they are both still hung up on me and haven't had a girlfriend since me. I want them both to move on and it is becoming very clear that I am not helping the situation by being a constant in their lives right now.
It's sad to me when you can go from loving one another so much to flat out hating the other. I don't get it and don't know if I ever will.
Breaking up I can handle, but having to completely remove one from my life just because we were not compatible? Difficult. When I love, I love. To me love has no end and if you stop loving someone you must have never loved them to begin with.
I may not want to reconcile with an ex, but I still love all of them..it's just a different kind of love. I only have 3 ex's and I am 27 years old. All of my relationships have been pretty serious and LTR.
I don't hate my most recent ex (we were together five years, and he ended things very cruelly, abruptly, and unexpectedly). I am very hurt by his actions, but I don't have hatred in my heart for him. I loved him to distraction for five years, and was building a life with him. I couldn't hate him. I am confused by his choices, bewildered by his untruths, crushed by his lack of respect and caring, and greatly disappointed by the person he turned out to be. But hatred isn't a part of things.
I don't hate anyone who has dumped me. Hurt for a while, but thankful later. Why would anyone wnat to stay with someone who didn't want to stay with them??
I've been with the same women for eight years now. We're finally almost considered married without actually being married.Isn't there like some eight year rule? lol Anyways, I don't hate any exes anymore. There was only one that I "hated" for a long time, but that was because I still had feelings for her. Even while I began to date my current gf. Those feelings were so intense for so long that I wondered if I would ever get over her. Then comes my current gf. It's not like it was love at first sight or anything, but she definately helped to get over the "other one". I have to say though, the other one took plenty of other girls and over six years to fully get out of my system. That's being completely honest. It was worse than getting over my first love. That only lasted about a year and a half. Probably because she only had so many good qualities.
I always love when people say a month or two is all it should take. It takes as long as the heart takes. However long that may be. I think it took so long with her because A)It got so messy B)I was so in love with her (always will care for her) and C)There were so many unanswered questions during the breakup. A total head fck. It's definately easy to talk about today. But I must admit that I lost alot of sleep over that girl, going over the same old scenarios in my head.
I am happy today. I guess as happy as anyone (crossess fingers/ very superstitious). I looked her up last year because I was curious to see how she's been all these years. It showed on her facebook page that she was getting married. Saw who the guy was and everything. Learned his last name and all. Looked her up with his last name no such person. Looked her up with her original last name and there she was. I guess she never got married. She had a gift registry and everything. I did read (they did live in Hoboken) the guys name in some paper in Hoboken about him screaming at the cops and acting like a total pr ck. Not surprised then if she didn't marry him. I hate to admit it but she was pretty classy. Not the type of girl to even cuss. So hearing about that kind of put a smile on my face. I wouldn't want to go through that pain again, but I am finally at peace. Knowing that she didn't marry that douche makes me a bit happy too. Because we almost got married, and regardless that things didn't work out, I still want the best for her. That I can honestly say without any reservation.
Last edited by supermanpansy; 09-25-2012 at 02:45 PM..
I like the way you put the word "despise" in your title.
I have one ex husband who I despise.
The reason I despise the man instead of hate him is that "hate" to me implies passion. I have no passion at all for this individual, rather the feeling you get when you see a dead frog in your bathtub (don't ask).
Just revulsion, God I wish that wasn't there, ew, can I wave a magic wand and have it vanish please so I can have a wash and forget it ever happened.
I don't "hate" my ex. I actually feel kind of sorry for her since her life has gone very downhill since we broke up. I have written proof I predicted at the time we split up that would happen. For the record she ended our 8 year relationship and 6 year marriage, not me.
If I point the finger at her I must look at where the other 3 fingers are pointing. Looking back I should have got out way before it ended. That was MY fault. I also could have and should have said no.
Marrying her was the biggest mistake I made in my entire life.
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I also could have and should have said no.
