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justjulia, i never wanted to divorce him and i never even mentioned the word. the fact that he talked about the next girl left me with a sour taste in my mouth.
and like i said, first he siad he didnt go down stairs at all and that he had no idea why dad said that.
then he said yeah he went downstairs but not to hang out with her. he did go downstairs and hung out with his friend. friend said he hadnot seen my husband that nite or anytime during my husbands visit.
the final time he said that the woman stayed for dinner and brought up dessert. then she went downstairs later that nite to go home and he went downstairs to throw out the trash. the father wouldve said that he went downstairs to throw out garbage but he specifically said that hes downstairs with her.
honestly though, he never answered his phone that nite, lied about his friend and recently lied about the dinner part. i know its a strange scenario but who knows, maybe she invited him inside. im done asking him anything.
he didnt have to bring up some make believe girl whos wish he may need to fulfill lol .
it wasnt even me whos idea it was to ask him. his dad said that his wife had to get her tubes tied and dr had told her of the many side effects like heavier periods, hot flashes, and so he opted to get the vasectomy for her. his father said y dont u ask him to get a vasectomy, the father said he had it and he never had any side effects,, that was when i asked him.
At first I was going to say maybe you're overreacting, but every time you post I like this guy less and less. I think if someone easily lies about little things then it means they're capable of lying about big things too. Why lie about someone's attractiveness level or watching porn or having dessert with a neighbor? Just tell the truth. I don't understand his obsession with "real men" either. Real men don't lie. Real men take their marriage vows seriously. I have zero issues with guys watching porn, but when he watches porn instead of spending time with his family and make a point to tell you how hot the women in porn are, that is going too far.
If he won't go to counseling then go on your own. It can help you process your own feelings and find ways to better deal with him. I don't know if I would want to spend the rest of my life hearing about what real men do...and I would worry what kind of example he's setting for your kids about how men are supposed to treat women. Do you even WANT to try work things out with him?
Why? The Marines aren't there to make you a better person - it's a military organization and it needs soldiers. Much of what they teach is very valuable, but if you don't learn to use it in context, it's worthless when you're operating in the civilian world or personal relationships.
Wow, I usualy enjoy your posts, but this one is plain insanity. Are you ok? Need a man?
What's insane about it? He told multiple versions of a supposedly innocent encounter.
Then he lashed out at her with that "real men" bs when she asked him to get a vasectomy (I've known many men who have cheerfully gotten them) so she wouldn't have to deal with the more severe medical consequences of getting her tubes tied.
There is something deeply wrong, and I think it's pretty evident he was cheating or up to something unless she has a history of extreme jealousy. People don't lie about visiting the neighbors normally. And most guys don't lash out when their wife asks them to get a vasectomy. what happened to "Can we talk about this?" People don't talk about their "next" spouse to their current spouse.
wow i 4got to mention this.. i told him that he talks to me with no respect at all and some1 with enough sesnse wouldve left him already an dhe says good luck finding sum1 because since i have kids.. im used goods that men, especially real men never date or marry a woman who has kids already. that no real man raises sum1 elses kids .. how ridiculous?
then when hes in a nice mood hes like i only say mean things to u because u get me mad. ugh
justjulia, i never wanted to divorce him and i never even mentioned the word. the fact that he talked about the next girl left me with a sour taste in my mouth.
I understand, but so far you have told us:
You believe he's a liar and cheats on you
He says rude and cruel things to you
You don't feel that he respects you
He called you used goods
He refuses to go to marriage counseling
If you don't want a divorce, what do you hope will happen? That he will magically transform himself into a kind and caring man?
he says good luck finding sum1 because since i have kids.. im used goods that men, especially real men never date or marry a woman who has kids already. that no real man raises sum1 elses kids
Honey, you are living with a jerk with a capital J.
thats o tru jrzdefector, why lie abouta casual innocent encounter, why lash out on me about the vasectomy, why tell me that he NEEDS to look at porn because real men do. and real men this and real men that/ hes trying to pass all his behavior and habits on the fact that hes a male.
and ohiogirl, i have sometimes thought that marriage and children are just too much for him and he says that its not.i told him if he wanted out of this marriage to just tell me and ill be gone and he says no i want to be married. i dont pressure him or anything. im actually more laid back then he is.
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