Guys. Can't get a date? Can't find a relationship? Read this. (movies, man)
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What is fascinating about that read is how it applies to men, and not necessarily women.
A gorgeous woman can litterally stand there and do nothing, and she is already offering something tremendous in the minds of every man within spitting distance.
Obviously you're missing the point, and it absolutely DOES apply to women.
When men see women, pretty women, they are immediately thinking of them in terms of what she can DO for him. He doesn't want to get the girl so he can sit her in a corner of his living room for attractive scenery, she is a woman not a fishtank. He wants to do more than look, and I don't know how many times I've heard men discuss women in terms of what they are willing to "do" in bed and what they're not. Ultimately, deep down, the entire urge to get with her in the first place is to claim some 20-odd years of her life to "do" something, which is raise his offspring after bearing and birthing it, at least at the level of primordial biological imperative.
The difference here is the need to be a doer just to get her attention, vs. the hope or assumption that she'll be doing things the guy needs if he does close the deal. But make no mistake...she's totally expected to do stuff.
And nowadays, thanks to our feminist revolutions and changes in social norms, she is expected to do all of the same stuff her Grandma did, plus hold down a full time job.
Well, at least it wasn't one of the more list-oriented "got game" articles that have been posted in the recent past. On the flip side, it's almost too metaphysical and isn't applied enough, though the basic concepts are understandable. Having it totally together and being a total loser are endpoints. Most people are somewhere in between and, with that in mind, most people are in relationships and/or get dates. (The quality of those is beyond the scope of this post). However, I think that most people who don't get dates are trying too hard, are barking up the wrong tree, or might even be subconsciously sabotaging the event. I think some just need to ease up on the throttle. Every pot has its lid, so they say. However, in one's life, they may never find that lid. I, for one, do not view singles as defective, having both intelligent and accomplished relatives and friends who have been single for the duration. I am sure they have ensured some hardships which make them less amenable to a relationship, but I don't look down on them. Clearly, a segment of society would, though. However, none of them are complaining, so that probably excludes them from this thread ... and the article.
He must've said something else I totally agreed with lately. Cpg, was it you who posted the list about awful Christmas songs elsewhere? I think that was where I really started to pay attention to what you've got to say...keen wit and good points, man.
Here we go again. More "tough talk" about what a man "should" be. The internet sure wants to make this into an objective topic when it couldn't be more subjective. I'll say it again. Even if a man could somehow become "perfect" chances are women would get bored with him anyway because he wouldn't have any "grit" left to him. No matter what there is ALWAYS going to be something MISSING! Trying to be a "good" man(in women's eyes) is like trying to hit a moving target.
Here we go again. More "tough talk" about what a man "should" be. The internet sure wants to make this into an objective topic when it couldn't be more subjective. I'll say it again. Even if a man could somehow become "perfect" chances are women would get bored with him anyway because he wouldn't have any "grit" left to him. No matter what there is ALWAYS going to be something MISSING! Trying to be a "good" man(in women's eyes) is like trying to hit a moving target.
The problem I have with posts like these, as well as posts that show bitterness towards men, is the assumption that all women or all men are precisely the same.
While certain generalizations can be shown sometimes or even mostly true, it does not mean all women or all men are ALIKE. Men talk about "trying to please women" or "what women want." That mindset will never really be entirely successful, because women, despite some tendencies in common, are individuals. What totally thrills one woman won't work on the next. So a guy thinking like this will...what?...get pissed because Chick B didn't respond to the trick he learned to use on Chick A?
Some guys like sports. A lot of them do. But not all. Mine doesn't. Some guys are obsessed with cars, or trucks, or their lawns. Some guys use and abuse women. Some guys aren't confident enough to even speak to them. Some guys are sweet and dedicated. Some guys are rockstars, some are cool people and some are dou*he-lords.
Again, missing the point...big difference between trying to do something or learn something and then holding our your hand for a reward, or becoming the most awesome YOU that is possible and then the rewards come to you. Any man who responds to this article with blame on women for being difficult to please, has completely missed the whole point of the logic, which is to stop blaming anyone but you and take back the power. But yeah, it's much easier to just make excuses and be miserable, and the author covered that too.
The problem I have with posts like these, as well as posts that show bitterness towards men, is the assumption that all women or all men are precisely the same.
While certain generalizations can be shown sometimes or even mostly true, it does not mean all women or all men are ALIKE. Men talk about "trying to please women" or "what women want." That mindset will never really be entirely successful, because women, despite some tendencies in common, are individuals. What totally thrills one woman won't work on the next. So a guy thinking like this will...what?...get pissed because Chick B didn't respond to the trick he learned to use on Chick A?
Some guys like sports. A lot of them do. But not all. Mine doesn't. Some guys are obsessed with cars, or trucks, or their lawns. Some guys use and abuse women. Some guys aren't confident enough to even speak to them. Some guys are sweet and dedicated. Some guys are rockstars, some are cool people and some are dou*he-lords.
Again, missing the point...big difference between trying to do something or learn something and then holding our your hand for a reward, or becoming the most awesome YOU that is possible and then the rewards come to you. Any man who responds to this article with blame on women for being difficult to please, has completely missed the whole point of the logic, which is to stop blaming anyone but you and take back the power. But yeah, it's much easier to just make excuses and be miserable, and the author covered that too.
I certainly hope that you weren't inferring that my post showed "bitterness towards women" because if you are then you missed my point. I wasn't suggesting that women are difficult to please but rather a "perfect" man would become boring very quickly just as a perfect woman would become boring because there wouldn't be much "mess" there and human beings need a little bit of "mess" to feel alive.
How many threads have we seen here over the years where someone says that their spouse is really great, dependable, loving, ect but they are bored and looking elsewhere. Everybody needs a bit of imperfection in a mate or else there is something in the brain that says "there is something wrong here, things are too perfect, I'm bored."
Yet all we seem to do now is obsess about perfection both from men AND women rather than celebrate those flaws that make people human beings.
And I'm agreeing with you that everyone is different and I can't stand these "articles" that try to paint a man(or a woman) into a corner by saying that this is THE way an individual should behave.
Here we go again. More "tough talk" about what a man "should" be. The internet sure wants to make this into an objective topic when it couldn't be more subjective. I'll say it again. Even if a man could somehow become "perfect" chances are women would get bored with him anyway because he wouldn't have any "grit" left to him. No matter what there is ALWAYS going to be something MISSING! Trying to be a "good" man(in women's eyes) is like trying to hit a moving target.
I can't rep you but honestly this tough talk nonsense is just becoming an excuse for folks to lay down final justice on people and their lives.
Oh please. This is so condescending. You are just assuming because someone can't get a date, he's a loser. Some guys have a decent job, work out every day, are in good shape, and still can't get a date. Guys can't get women because it's hard to get women. One can have a lot of good qualities and still have trouble attracting a mate.
Sadly, as I read through the article, I thought the entire time of you knowing this was written for you, and you would not be able to read it.
I'd agree with everything on that article, 50 years ago. What my thing is, what I perceive, is that all these things have been take to the extreme and corrupted.
"creating something" or having "something to offer the world" has turned into "looking like you're listening and working hard to your retard boss" or "doctor, lawyer, or engineer". The entire world can't run on doctors, lawyers, engineers, and then just baristas to serve them coffee at starbucks. Our culture's college-worship has turned our capitalist class into a bunch of inefficient morons, but they get to run the businesses because "They finished college!" And our entire economy has been screwed by the government to shovel money into people and corporations that don't actually DO anything.
Women, similarly, want a guy who can buy them a stupid, boring condo, in the part of town that doesn't have black people, and it has to have 3 beds, 3 baths, and at least 2 rooms that they'll never use.
All these people look down on people who actually produce things for a living because they involve physical labor, contractors, mechanics, welders, etc. And these people don't get bajillions of dollars because they're not tied in with the fed or lawyers who pay off judges.
Sorry, but the fact is your typical mechanic, contractior, etc. produces way more than like 70% of the people who make double his salary and more. I refuse to believe that all those yuppie d-bags who take the PATH to Wall Street, who NEVER DEAL WITH ANYTHING PHYSICAL, they never produce any objects, they never fix machinery or structures, they never build anything, are actually PRODUCING as much as they get paid for. In a free economy there would be some of these people, but not nearly so much.
Frankly, because of pensions and government investment, half the money in our economy doesn't even really exist, and these people just "trade" with it, and make bank because they get a percentage.
On top of that, the whole "there are 50 other guys who can do that and more" just isn't true. Yeah sure, any guy will **** any woman (and even that isn't true, I've found, much to my disappointment - I'd think more guys would have more balls), but even fewer will want to even be around her for a while, even fewer in a relationship, and even fewer married to her. Women get lots of attention, but the ditzes we got nowadays, half of whom aren't even serious about their marriage/relationship future, overestimate what that actually means.
Being, let's say, a mechanic, and a good father IS and SHOULD BE good enough.
Our country is failing and will be beaten by more conservative cultures who have their **** together, both in government policy and its related cultural beliefs.
Frankly our society is just a mix of the worst of both new ideas and old values. Supporting your family turned into "being able to afford a mansion or Manhattan condo", with anybody doing less well considered a POS. Meanwhile modern "feminism" tells women to hate and fear men and that they don't need men, when biology says otherwise for most people (most people do NOT want to be the lonely crazy cat lady). There's more to the mix than that but there's the primer.
I'm not sure what your point is. Are you saying a woman won't marry and have children with someone who might be a mechanic, and they can only afford together to buy a modest house. This is simply not true. Supporting your family has nothing to do with buying a condo in Manhattan for the vast majority of people.
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