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I'm a guy in my mid 20's and have been with my gf for over a year. I love her and care about her very much. Unfortunately, I've been ignoring a problem. I'm not sexually satisfied. I'm even starting to lose physical attraction. Allow me to explain:
She is extremely happy with all aspects of the relationship. As far as sex goes for her, she couldn't be happier. I absolutely love going down on her. I give her or@l 5 or more times a week with her almost always having a full body climax. I want to make her feel good. We'll have sex maybe 1 or 2 times a week.
For me, I'm lucky if I climax once every week or two (and usually its me forcing it and really having to concentrate on something else). I feel bad because I have to lie sometimes as to why I can't climax. I don't want to get into specifics, but she basically just doesn't know what she is doing. I've tried watching porn with her and even some "how-to" sex vids with her, but they don't seem to change anything. I've also had some issues with her hygiene in the past.
So, I'm confused as to what to do. I love her and want to make this work, but I'm not sure what to do. I don't know how much longer I can suppress my sex urges and keep "faking things".
Sit her down and talk to her. Tell her what you like and want. Just be honest. Seriously, sex isn't that hard. You are way too young to be living with this type of situation. It will only lead you to cheat.
Or leave her and find someone who satisfies you fully
I'm a guy in my mid 20's and have been with my gf for over a year. I love her and care about her very much. Unfortunately, I've been ignoring a problem. I'm not sexually satisfied. I'm even starting to lose physical attraction. Allow me to explain:
She is extremely happy with all aspects of the relationship. As far as sex goes for her, she couldn't be happier. I absolutely love going down on her. I give her or@l 5 or more times a week with her almost always having a full body climax. I want to make her feel good. We'll have sex maybe 1 or 2 times a week.
For me, I'm lucky if I climax once every week or two (and usually its me forcing it and really having to concentrate on something else). I feel bad because I have to lie sometimes as to why I can't climax. I don't want to get into specifics, but she basically just doesn't know what she is doing. I've tried watching porn with her and even some "how-to" sex vids with her, but they don't seem to change anything. I've also had some issues with her hygiene in the past.
So, I'm confused as to what to do. I love her and want to make this work, but I'm not sure what to do. I don't know how much longer I can suppress my sex urges and keep "faking things".
You're a guy and you can't orgasm from intercourse alone? What do you need her to do that she's not doing?
You're a guy and you can't orgasm from intercourse alone? What do you need her to do that she's not doing?
That's what I was going to ask. If you watch porn on a regular basis, that might be the problem, if it's desensitizing you to "regular" sex. As for her hygiene, my bf and I wash up beforehand, maybe you can suggest that to your gf.
my bf and I wash up beforehand, maybe you can suggest that to your gf.
What? That's by far the best and most effective method to take all spontaneity out of your love life.
I couldn't imagine having to interrupt sex "to take a quick shower" .. takes all the magic out of the moment? no?
My ex used to ask me to take a shower before she would give me a BJ, but that's a whole different thing.
OT: I've been in your situation before. First thing you should do is stop watching porn so you become more physically sensitive to her input. Secondly, try to cut back on masturbation.
Now, as far as the emotional aspect is concerned: You have to talk to her about it.
I was in the same situation before tho, and I tried explaining her, she said she "understood" and she tried... but the issue remained.
If it continues to be an issue the relationship is doomed because you'll constantly crave other women.
Yes, it makes complete sense to ask those questions. As far as masturbation goes, let me just say that over the past 6 months that has been cut down to being almost zero (I was thinking the same thing early on).
The problem is attraction. What you both said makes complete sense for earlier on in the relationship. While maybe she wasn't the best in bed, I was still able to enjoy myself because sex is sex. As the months have passed though, I just don't get as excited and therefore have a hard time getting by with the mindset of "sex is sex". There are more personal details I could give which would probably explain things a little better, but I was just looking to see if anyone has dealt with a problem similar to this.
You have to talk about it with her, a lot. Give it time. Many women have a hard time enjoying sex the same way we do because they're not entirely comfortable with their body and looks. You can tell them they're the most beautiful girl you've ever seen, it won't matter because in her head she'll think she's fat or something. The key here is to get her to feel comfortable with herself and her body. Do whatever it takes to achieve that but don't push her too much.
What? That's by far the best and most effective method to take all spontaneity out of your love life.
I couldn't imagine having to interrupt sex "to take a quick shower" .. takes all the magic out of the moment? no?
My ex used to ask me to take a shower before she would give me a BJ, but that's a whole different thing.
OT: I've been in your situation before. First thing you should do is stop watching porn so you become more physically sensitive to her input. Secondly, try to cut back on masturbation.
Now, as far as the emotional aspect is concerned: You have to talk to her about it.
I was in the same situation before tho, and I tried explaining her, she said she "understood" and she tried... but the issue remained.
If it continues to be an issue the relationship is doomed because you'll constantly crave other women.
I didn't say we take showers. It only takes a second to take a baby wipe or washcloth and freshen up, and if my guy is going downtown, I'm going to make sure I'm clean. This guy is not enjoying going down on her because she doesn't smell good, so I don't think in this case her taking a second to wash up down there is going to take any "magic" out of anything.
You don't masturbate or watch porn, and you can only orgasm once every 1 or 2 weeks? That sounds like it could be a medical issue man. I don't think it's attraction. Everyone's had their fair share of uggs and there is no attraction there. The female body, the raw act alone and the build up (especially from 2 weeks!) would have most men forcing thoughts of baseball.
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