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Been there. Few people have learned the art of correspondence, and don't realize that asking a question is often necessary to elicit a response or to keep a conversation going.
Most just want to meet quickly, and can't be bothered writing. Personally, if someone can't express themselves well in writing (even for a short time until we decide to meet), I'm unlikely to want to meet them at all, so I see it as a way to screen out unsuitable people.
I wanted to meet quickly too, and went out with several men who wrote in the first e-mail "how about coffee on Friday?" I don't see the point in corresponding first, because before I would do that and find out there are many people who can write well but in person can't express themselves at all. I think 20 minutes over coffee tells you more about someone than weeks corresponding over e-mail or text or phone.
Depends on the age of the datee...if they're a above 30 or something sure, go ahead and call, but the new generation of kids like texting, at least this has been my experience. Calling 20 somethings too early in the proceedings tends to spook them off.
100% agreed. There is definitely a generation gap on this. But of course, you need to add an extra 5-10 years for people in the bay area. The texting only age probably increases to 35 or 40.
They get flooded with emails so they pick the ones they like and ignore the rest. Hell thats what I would do if I was getting spammed with introductions on a date site. It's not fair but thats life.
Yep. Women have the pick of the litter online. Even if the litter is sick,they still get top choice.
That's why I never understood when women said they couldn't find a nice guy online. The odds are much more in their favor than the males favor. I think some of the women I met online that had 2-4 kids, still thought that they should be able to nab the Channing Tatum guys. They seemed to have really high expectations, yet bring nothing of substance to the table.
Yep. Women have the pick of the litter online. Even if the litter is sick,they still get top choice.
A really cute girl I am going to be going out with this week was telling me that she had to shut down her page because it got so creepy.
This girl was telling me she received a message from a guy who was obsessed with horses. He sent her a 7 paragraph message talking about his sexual fantasy with horses and how he wanted to mate with her and eat carrots with her. All of this, talking from the viewpoint of a horse.
Whether or not they get flooded with messages doesn't mean a thing. Most of the guys on there are weird as hell. Be normal and you're way ahead of the game.
When I talk to women online, I get all of their numbers right away. Within 5 messages I have their number and just text. If it takes longer than that, they're not going to go out with you.
I can agree here. If you send 5 or more messages back and forth, than she may at least be interested enough to give out her number. The biggest thing I noticed about online dating was when the stigma of getting a number no longer meant much to women anymore. Years ago, if a woman gave you here number, she was very interested. It seems that has reversed and now a woman's number flies out to anyone. I still have the mindset of getting a number is an intent of interest, so that's something I had to adjust to when online dating.
Depends on the age of the datee...if they're a above 30 or something sure, go ahead and call, but the new generation of kids like texting, at least this has been my experience. Calling 20 somethings too early in the proceedings tends to spook them off.
Also, it's a good way to carry a staggered conversation during the workday. You can pick it up and put it down at any time. With a phone call, you generally have to drop everything and focus on the phone call. That's what I don't like.
6th time this has happened with online dating (4th for the girl contacting me first).
The girl makes a general comment / introduction, but then doesn't ask much of anything else about me during the course of the conversation. Meanwhile, I'll ask some about them, what they do, interests etc, which they respond to, but then they don't ask anything in return. Not even "what about you?"
I can get it if the girl isn't interested, but come on, if you reach out first to me, be able to hold a freaking conversation.
Also, fill out something about yourself in your profile. Not what you're looking for. About yourself. I could care less if you are looking for a "nice guy who doesn't play games." Good for you. Who are you though? Do you have any interests besides nice guys? Hobbies? Guess not.
/end rant.
What type of message do you get when they make the 1st contact? If it's a "Hi" I would stay away from those types of messages because they are already showing they have poor communication skills.
What type of message do you get when they make the 1st contact? If it's a "Hi" I would stay away from those types of messages because they are already showing they have poor communication skills.
But I agree it can be annoying.
Another thing I've notice is the girls that send messages like "hi" are usually the really ugly ones.
Also, it's a good way to carry a staggered conversation during the workday. You can pick it up and put it down at any time. With a phone call, you generally have to drop everything and focus on the phone call. That's what I don't like.
Yes, and I suppose alot of young, busy professional women don't like it either. They prefer the convenience of texting to the intrusion of a direct call.
How far can you take a one-on-one conversation with someone you've never met? And like others said, you have to move quick on those sites because the women get a dozen other offers. If you think she's only talking to you, then you are extremely naive.
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