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Well, another thing to is that I don't necessarily think guys and girls looking for a one night stand are bad people. They're just looking for fun. And as stands right now, I'm a virgin. Really what I'm saying is, while I'd much rather find the girl of my dreams right now and get married, most people my age have to go through many relationships before they find "the one". It seems like the people my age who party, go clubbing, go to bars, are the ones that end up having the most dating success. While these relationships don't always end up being long-term, some of them do. Granted I'm going by what I see on facebook.
Well, another thing to is that I don't necessarily think guys and girls looking for a one night stand are bad people. They're just looking for fun. And as stands right now, I'm a virgin. Really what I'm saying is, while I'd much rather find the girl of my dreams right now and get married, most people my age have to go through many relationships before they find "the one". It seems like the people my age who party, go clubbing, go to bars, are the ones that end up having the most dating success. While these relationships don't always end up being long-term, some of them do. Granted I'm going by what I see on facebook.
Do tell what do you consider dating success that these partying, clubbing, and bar hopping people end up having the most of and why do you seem to think not partying, clubbing, and bar hopping excludes you from it? Perhaps it's more of a personality, attractiveness, or social skills issue than not being a party guy.
Alright, I'm not new to city-data, and I've posted on the relationships forum before but not much. I've not had any success at dating(I'm a guy). I was 14 when I had my last "girlfriend", I should say my only girlfriend. I wasn't much of a relationship either, because we were young, and there really wasn't anything there anyway. In the last 7 years I've had absolutely no luck at all in dating. I was a social outcast in high school, and this led me into depression. Long story short, I dropped out of high school. It's also continued into my young adult years too. The two jobs I've had, I quit. I've gone to some community college, but only had about a 2.0 grade average, and now I'm done with that too. I don't drive a car, I still live at my parents, and I currently have no employment. I don't have very many friends, and no friends that are girls. I'm also still a virgin too. I've been wanting a girlfriend for awhile now, and not for sex. I'd just really like a companion of the opposite sex.
Now this brings me to my question. I'm 20 years old right now, in about a month I'll be 21. Are bars good places for a young guy that age to hook up with women? I'm tired of the looking for dating/relationships, and always being the nice guy. I haven't been the guy who just wanted to hook up for sex in the first place. Now, I'm starting to think it's a waste and I should just look for the girls looking for the one night stands. So what are your opinions on this? Should I try and better myself first, and keep looking for a real relationship? Or should I just look to meet some women who can be fwbs, and are bars and clubs the best places to do that at?
OK,here's his post maybe you can bold the part your referring to as I have no clue.The guy is asking questions and your putting statements in his mouth!
Quote:
Originally Posted by udolipixie
You might want to read my post and this thread again as I didn't the paint the OP out to be anything that he wasn't.
I said the OP doesn't fault is understanding of guys who use such methods and he is:
The guy is feeling down and ASKING whats the best way to go about things and you come along and put words in his mouth like force,coerce and manipulate.
Do tell what do you consider dating success that these partying, clubbing, and bar hopping people end up having the most of and why do you seem to think not partying, clubbing, and bar hopping excludes you from it? Perhaps it's more of a personality, attractiveness, or social skills issue than not being a party guy.
OH great now you give him a chance to explain things instead of force feeding him your words
Do tell what do you consider dating success that these partying, clubbing, and bar hopping people end up having the most of and why do you seem to think not partying, clubbing, and bar hopping excludes you from it? Perhaps it's more of a personality, attractiveness, or social skills issue than not being a party guy.
Well the people who go to bars frequently and party more often, also seem to be more outgoing. My personality is negative/pessamistic as far as dating but generally optomistic as far as other things, I think I'm a good looking guy but average at the same time, and my social skills are below average. I can strike up a conversation with people, unfortunatly usually not with people my age. For some reason I feel awkward around people my age.
Just a hint, it's much easier to get a woman in bed if she's been drinking. So if you're looking for sex, it's great to shop at bars but you'll need a strategy including going with friends and/or wingman until you're comfortable.
Even if you're not specifically looking for sex (iow a liar), bars are great locations for meeting with and talking with girls in a relaxed atmosphere. Most bar pickups I've had were casual when I wasn't specifically looking to "score" that night.
OK,here's his post maybe you can bold the part your referring to as I have no clue.The guy is asking questions and your putting statements in his mouth!
The guy is feeling down and ASKING whats the best way to go about things and you come along and put words in his mouth like force,coerce and manipulate.
I responded quoted and bolded the post I'm referring to not once but twice
It's on page one:
Quote:
Originally Posted by dejaentendu19
While I despise the guys that use these methods I can't fault guys for trying. Girls that fall to these guys are usually idiotic in their actions and don't get smart about it the first couple of times. I still despise these guys, but when it's working you can understand why they do it....as a guy.
I didn't put any words in his mouth:
I said try PUA tactics that preferably those that are manipulative and coercive.
He said he doesn't like guys who do that but he doesn't fault them and understands them.
I said his thinking is like most guys I observe.
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